#r.onan

[fckhyland]

[text] Its been what a week and I miss your face terribly.

text with stassi: The post-bahamas blues was TOO REAL fam. I miss you so much more.

[fckhyland]

[text] I demand your cuddles to sleep tonight! I can do that right as bride to be??

text with stassi: You wish is my command, BTB (that’s bride to be OBVIOUSLY)

text with stassi: I can’t believe my Stassi is getting MARRIED. Leaving us common Lala’s to fend for themselves.

text with stassi: Yo btw these shots are no joke 😂

[fckhyland]

[text] BITCH YOU READY FOR JAMAICAAAAA!!!

text with stassi: BITCH I WAS BORN READY!!!! This girl is kicking off hiatus RIGHT. Are /YOU/ ready is the real question.

[fckhyland]

you I was eating pizza on the toilet right now?[text] THE LAST STRAW WAS YOU CHANGING THE NETFLIX PASSWORD[text] Dude, what’s wrong with me? I’m like a strong independent woman and shit.[text] DON’T YOU DARE PUT YOURSELF DOWN YOU’RE A BEAUTIFUL BITCH AND ANYONE WOULD BE LUCKY TO BE WITH YOU YOU[text] I’m just so full of love and alcohol[text] WHY WOULD YOU DRUNK DIAL MY HOUSE PHONE YOU IDIOT

[text] THE LAST STRAW WAS YOU CHANGING THE NETFLIX PASSWORD[text] I told you to keep your weird ass indie films out of my suggested. Did you listen? NO. I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO. YOU BROUGHT IT ON YOURSELF.

[text] Dude, what’s wrong with me? I’m like a strong independent woman and shit.[text] NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT AND GIVE ME A LADY BONER 99.9% OF THE TIME. YOU ARE /NOT/ A SCHEANA NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS. YOU’RE A STASSI. A GODDAM QUEEN.

[text] DON’T YOU DARE PUT YOURSELF DOWN YOU’RE A BEAUTIFUL BITCH AND ANYONE WOULD BE LUCKY TO BE WITH YOU[text] Listen. I know I come off heavy handed with the self-deprecation jokes but what if I actually end up a crazy old spinster lady I mean jesus fucking christ even bumble weirdos are ghosting me now.

[text] I’m just so full of love and alcohol[text] And dick. You’re also full of dick.

[text] WHY WOULD YOU DRUNK DIAL MY HOUSE PHONE YOU IDIOT[text] I DIDN’T KNOW!!! WHO THE FUCK EVEN HAS HOUSE PHONES ANY MORE, SERSH. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

[fckhyland]

[text] I dont know Hyland you got some fierce competition specially with Katie Cassidy! [text] Oh yeah be the highlight of my whole march bbs!! kidding please dont purposefully scar me xP

text with stassi: Fuuuuck that’s right. Not to even mention you. And Margot. Shit I’m the ugly friend, aren’t I? Fuck my life.

text with stassi: hahahahhahhaha fiiiine I’ll throw a pair of leggings in my suitcase. As a wedding gift to you.

[fckhyland]

[text] ok, ok. There is a little challenge started to see how long we can get away with just wearing bikinis, yes even the really active parts and fancy dinners. But id bring one pair active wear just in case cause you just cant do some yoga poses in a bikini. haha

text with stassi: Oh imma win that, you know it. Okay, got it. But let’s not pretend like you don’t wanna see my downward dog in a string bikini 😂

[fckhyland]

[text] Im lustfully already thinking about this trip. Margot and I already talked about some of the planned activities and they are insane. I dont think it is yet but you go make it a thing you innovator!

text with stassi: HINTS. HINTS PLS. Do I need like active gear? Cus I was lowkey just gonna be a fat lard on the beach the whole time.

[fckhyland]

[text] I knowwwww I don't have an excuse to go see you ever other weekend! This is going to suck so bad. But you know what we have my bachelorette trip and I have two movies I have to promote end of next month, so thats something?!?

text with stassi: I have a countdown on my phone til the moment I’m on that plane headed to your fantastic bachelorette weekend I literally cannot wait. Are press tour groupies a thing? Can I make it one??