#radical acceptance

[painedandconfusedsblog]

I understand why folks can be against “you can become disabled at any time” argument. But, I fear it is being flattened by identity politics. Yes, we should care about someone simply because they are human. However, it’s been my experience this discourse is used specifically in regards to accessibility and internalized ableism to display the fact that disability is inevitable and ableism impacts everyone, so it’s best to embrace accessibility and de-programming internalized ableism now.

For me, it’s less ‘be nice to disabled people because it could happen to you’ and more: accessibility already benefits everyone, ableism is deeply internalized in all of us, and most people will eventually have to confront dependence, limitation, chronic illness, pain, aging, or loss of function. So maybe unpacking that fear now matters.

Also, I honestly don’t think you can fully do anti-capitalist work without unpacking ableism because capitalism fundamentally relies on it.

[moonlit-recovery]

Something about radical acceptance that isn't talked about enough is that you have to also validate the resistance just as much as everything else.

You're learning something new and it's hard and confusing and you're not sure you follow it entirely? Yes, that's valid, it makes a lot of sense that this is hard to grasp, you're literally rewiring your brain from a lifetime of programming.

You're trying a new self validation method and it feels fake af? Yes, that's valid, how could it not feel fake after a lifetime of being told you're a piece of shit and everything is your fault? It makes a lot of sense that you're struggling with it. That's valid, too.

You're having trouble accepting a situation that's too hard to accept? Yes, that's valid, your brain is literally trained to deny and avoid the hard things and you're fighting against that programming every single day. It makes a lot of sense that you're struggling to accept something that your brain is literally trying to protect you from feeling hurt by, it makes a lot of sense. That's also valid af.

This is also radical acceptance. Accepting that it's also hard, confusing, and not an exact science, and that you will not get it right 100% of the time, and that you will also experience resistance because you're human and that's what learning is all about.

[cptapathy]

If you need to cover the mirror to get by, that's okay. You are not a mockery of a trans woman, it's hard to hear when you feel low, you'll get to the point where you can feel that joy, just take each moment of joy you can.

If you feel low, if the intrusive thoughts are getting in, do that small thing that gives you joy no matter what it is. Just do more little things to get through.

And then, one day, you'll choose to take the cover off, or it'll fall down, or you'll open a phone camera accidentally, and you'll see something that wasn't their before.

Focus on...

1. Safety - sometimes safety means doing risky things to make sure your mood doesn't get too low

2. Joy - step by step like a magpie collecting euphoria until you look back to see the dragon's hoard of joy you have amassed

3. Community - finding people who are there to speak through the bullshit your brain can come up with, we are all here together, we need to help each other.

Anyone can reach out to me, we're here for each other

Remember I love you

[thebibliosphere]

Ma'am/Sir/Other

So much of your blog is "Yaya another thing in my body broke (kill me)"

I'm not judging at all, cause I'm also dealing with that somewhat but,

In the most polite manner possible;

How the fuck do you manage to function without killing everyone around you in a bodily pain induced rage.

Body hurts too much.

But in all seriousness, therapy and a whole lot of radical acceptance.

I don't approve or like what’s happening to me, but realistically, there is no way to avoid it, so I either have to accept it and make changes to my life or reject it and increase my suffering.

It might take me a while to process this change and there might be a few screaming breakdowns in the interim (”it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair!”) but after a long time of doing this type of therapy, I’ve gotten good at holding my own hand and holding myself through the despair.

It’s a bit like being my own gentle parent. Like “hey bud, I know this sucks and you’re feeling a lot of big emotions right now. And I’m not asking you to stop feeling them, but I do need you to eat and drink before you get sick, okay? Okay, you’ve had some water, do you want to try for a shower? No? Okay, let’s go back to bed for a bit. We’ll try later... Cry it out if you need to. I’ve got you.”

Probably sounds bonkers to some people but it's the only reason I’m still alive.

My support network is wonderful and they do so much to keep me going, but it wasn't until I allowed myself to feel my emotions and self soothe through them that things got better.

I can’t change what has been done to me. I can’t change the dynamic nature of my disabilities or the fact that parts of my body will continue to break down. But I can accept myself and say, this is the way things are: react accordingly for our continued survival.

Radical acceptance isn’t about approval or giving up. It's a stress tolerance skill that lets you look at some of the worst parts of your life and go “fuck this sucks. Okay, how do I make this suck less?” and then following through on it.

It's a skill that takes a long time to build. But it's well worth investing in.

[221bluescarf]

It's ok to grieve the life you wanted but can no longer have, or to grieve the life you used to have. The grief may pass, or it may always be there. Accepting (dare I say "radically accepting") that you can both grieve what you can't have *and* appreciate what you do have is something I think is vital to minimizing the pull towards believing death is a better outcome.

[thepeacefulgarden]

[fatty-chan]

My Rules!!

never lie to papa

listen to papa, he usually knows best

at LEAST 2 'babas o wawa' a day

try to show papa your outfit for the day even if you're staying home

clean your room every week (unless im not doing well)

shower every other day

teeth must be brushed before bed, try your best in the morning!

be in bed by 12:00 and try to be asleep by 12:30

try to wake up by 10:00 am

make sure to carry hand sanitizer and wear a mask (i get sick easy!!)

let papa know whats for breakfast/lunch/dinner

wear goodnites as often as possible, try to wear diapers on weekends

try to dress in babytime clothes as much as you can

write a reflection in your diary every night

color a picture at least once a day and show papa

do at least 1 page from each of your school workbooks

keep your binkie and teether near by if you can

bring a stuffie friend with you when you leave the house

make sure to tell papa about who you're talking with if you start to feel unsafe

tell papa about how your feeling everyday, he wants to make sure you're happy!!

in appropriate situations, papa's name is papa and nothing else

no yelling, biting, or throwing toys (without permission)

no sass

tell papa when you need to potty when he's home

no humping/touching without permission when papa is home

diaper checks are at papa's discretion