#raesmiles

[seekingraesmiles-blog]

A Good Start

So, I started reading Leonard Cohen’s Book of Longing. The poetry and stories that are hidden within this book are exquisite. You can’t read a poem and understand what it means without understanding what each word represents. That’s why this post is dedicated to just quoting some of Leonard Cohen’s poems in this book. I want to give you guys an insight to the images he creates. I haven’t gotten through his entire book. Please know this is a journey for me as well. Maybe it will be a journey for you too. So, here it is....

1/9/03 Hote Kemps Corner  - Rm 215

“The inner sweetness of the man could not be concealed.” 

Thing

November 12, 2001

Los Angeles, California

I am this thing that needs to sing

I love to sing

to my beloved’s other thing

and to my own dear sweet G-d

I love to sing to Him and her

and to my baby’s lower fur

which is so holy

that I want to crawl on my knees

off a high cliff

and sail around singing 

in the wind

which is so firendly

to my feathery spirit

I am this think

that wants to sing 

when I am up against the spit

and scorn of judges

O G-D I want to sing

I Am

THIS THING THAT NEEDS TO SING 

The Sweetest Little Song

You go your way 

I’ll go your way too

How Could I Have Doubted

I stopped looking for you

I stopped waiting or you

I stopped dying for you 

and I started dying fo rmyself

I aged rapidly 

I became fat in the face

and soft in the gut 

and I forgot that I’d ever loved you 

i was old

I had no focus, no mission

I wandered around eating and buying

bigger and bigger clothes

and I forgot why I hated

every long moment that was mine to fill 

Why did you come back to me tonight

I can’t even get off this chair

Tears run down my cheeks

I am in love again 

I can live like this. 

[seekingraesmiles-blog]

The End and The Start (2012-2018)

I’m breathing in good air.  I have reached yet another milestone in my life. On September 5th, 2012 I began a journey that came to me unexpectedly, unplanned, and out of the blue. It took my breath away, and for a moment I thought it took my dreams away. As I traveled down this unfamiliar road, I was forced to view life through a different lens - the lens of someone who had their life flash before their eyes. Back then I would have never imagined that I would be living the life that I am now. I have accomplished more than I imagined. I have met people who have changed my life for the better and now have a special place in my heart. I can see who I am more clearly now. I no longer walk this life with a blindfold on and it’s all thanks to the love, care, and support from a group of extraordinary humans. Sure, I put in the work but had I not cross paths with these individuals I wouldn’t have made it this far. 

We can try to go through this world alone and on our own but I guarantee you it won’t be much of a life. This is not to say that we need people in live to make us happy. No, only we can do that. But relationships are just another necessity in life. We need human intimacy to survive just as much as we need food and water. We connect with nature. It’s our birth right to interact with the world the way we do. If we let our pride get to our heads we essentially deny ourselves and others the ability to love us and enjoy life with us. Our pride is never that important. We’re better off when we can share our trials and tribulations with others; when we can grow together and learn from one another. If there’s anything I’ve learned in the past 6 years, is that you’ve gotta be willing to step outside your own world in order to truly know what you believe in, what makes your heart run wild, and even what makes you mad or cry. 

I am now living a life where I am beyond content with the path I’m on and the person I am. I will forever be seeking the best version of myself because my best changes from day to day. So, cheers to the end of one journey and the start of a new one. Life is just beginning. 

I’m ready for you world.

Good Vibes & Happy Lives,

Seeking RaeSmiles

[seekingraesmiles-blog]

Wasted Energy

Before you change anything about the external aspects of your life you have to start with internal.

By external I mean the physical and concrete things that you can touch and change. The internal change is the emotional, spiritual, and mental side of it all. If you are wasting your internal energy focusing on things that have no purpose in your life, you’re setting yourself up for failure.

People think that changing their actions will solve everything but that’s only taking care of half the problem. If you can’t control your internal dialogue then the physical change won’t mean anything. So, what is your internal-self focusing on? Is your emotional, spiritual, and mental energy fixated on the wrong thing?

Here are 5 things that we can let go of:

The past. Let it go, let it go, let it go. Forgive for yourself and for everyone else. Make amends and leave it in the past. If your mind is constantly fixated on what went wrong in the past you will never be present. That’s WASTED ENERGY. Tackle the problem and then move forward.

Focusing on everything wrong in your life. It’s hard to do a reality check when we are already caught up in a certain state of mind. But what are you going to do about the things you cannot change? I get it, life can kick us down…and I mean DOWN….but what’s the use of focusing our energy on what’s out of our hands. WASTED ENERGY. Figure out what you can do and/or who can help. Make it realistic too. Good things come to those who wait, right? Day by day. It’s not going to magically get easier but I promise you a positive mind will go far.

Negative Energy. Yes, all of this is negative energy but sometimes we are attracted to being around negative things even if we don’t really want to be. If you know someone or something that rubs you the wrong way, take a mental note of what you feel in those instances. You’re body is powerful thing. It will always tell you when something’s wrong. Listen to your internal dialogue. Block out the negative energy trying to come in before it ruins your day.

Worrying About Everyone Else’s Life. That’s just drama waiting to happen. Why is your mind so fixated on what he/she is doing ? Unless it is affecting your life directly, let it go. People think that as long as they don’t say anything out loud then it’s okay. WRONG. If you have bad energy coming out of your internal-self people will feel that vibe. Believe me. So, stop yourself. Ask yourself, is this really where your mind needs to be?

Other People’s Opinions. Do NOT and I mean do NOT let people’s opinions dictate who you are. Let it go. When our minds get carried away about what other people think about us or what we THINK other people think about us, we are setting ourselves up for failure yet again. If you are internalizing and worried about other people’s opinions, here’s what you need to do: Put the phone down, get out of your social media, stop analyzing everyone’s behavior, and trust yourself! You know who you are, you always have. Be confident and learn to love yourself. There’s nothing more attractive than a human who is confident. Focusing on people’s opinion will stress you out. This is WASTED ENERGY.

Take care of your emotional, spiritual, and mental side. The rest will come after.

Good Vibes & Happy Lives

-RaeSmiles

[seekingraesmiles-blog]

Discipline ! Do you have it? | Good Vibes & Happy Lives | 💫💙RaeSmiles #discipline #showup #goodvibesandhappylives #raesmiles #seekingraesmiles #positivethinking #youcandoit

[seekingraesmiles-blog]

| If there’s a will there’s a way. | Maybe the post isn’t as appealing, but hard work and dedication is. What I want for every individual in this world to do, is to work at being the best version of yourselves every day of your life. If there is one thing we can control it is ourselves and what we stand for. What they don’t teach us is how to be confident in who we are, how to truly question what we have been taught, and how to be prepared to have a back up plan that goes from a-z. The world never stops moving my friends and we shouldn’t either. But we should pause and think of the best options for ourselves, day to day. Life happens. What can you do for yourself today that will make today easier? Please understand that you are not here to live for anyone else but yourself. If you want to help others, you have to know how to help and love yourself. And MISTAKES ARE OKAY IF WE LEARN FROM THEM. We are human. Give yourself the options. Give yourself the time. I promise you good spirits attract good spirits. You’ll find more than what you planned to find out in life by learning how to embarca quality over quantity. - Good Vibes & Happy Lives - #raesmiles #seekingraesmiles #mentalhealth #whattheydonttellyou #youmatter #dontstop #timesup #oppression #mentalhealthmatters #ourlife #dearworld

[seekingraesmiles-blog]

Look Me In My Eyes

There’s talk of the eyes being the windows to the soul. They say starring into a person’s eyes reveals hidden intimacy, even between two strangers. I am told to always look into a person’s eyes when speaking to them. I am raised to believe that looking into a person’s eyes allow for people to perceive me as attractive, powerful, confident, and trustworthy. Yet, when we attempt to do so we fail. We fail because we choose to believe that the eyes are able to create a facade; to create any image of ourselves that we believe to be true, but this is not the case. 

Since I was a child I’ve always been observant and in tuned to people’s emotions. I tell myself that it’s the vibes that people put off. I believe that people give off positive and negative energies. While I still believe this to be true, there is one thing I’d like to add. A person’s eyes will never lie. 

The eyes are not the key when deciding what identity we want to portray today. Our hair, make-up, clothing, tone of voice, and facial expressions create that facade but our eyes are still. Our eyes yearn for someone to look deeply into them and know exactly how we feel. 

I could tell you that I’m happy, but my eyes would tell you that I feel pain. 

I could tell you that I’m fine, but my eyes would wander looking to distract myself from the true emotions that I’m suppressing. 

I could tell you I’m not mad, but my brown eyes will turn black. 

I could tell you that I feel nothing, but my eyes will be bleeding with love. 

Have you looked me in my eyes? Have you taken the time to feel that intimacy?Or do you look past it all? Do you only see the mask I put on? Because my eyes are right there even when the words are not. The windows to my soul are not shut closed. They are open and ready for someone to look into them deeply, not to fall in love, not to change their perspective of me, but simply to see the reality. 

I see you. I see the mask, the facade, and how hard you try to come off as you do. I get it but don’t think I don’t see those eyes. I see the passion, the drive, the anxiety, the sadness, and everything in between. Those eyes tell me if you’re having a good day versus a bad. Sometimes listening isn’t enough so I watch, I observe, and I let you know that I’m here and I see you. You don’t owe me or anyone else an explanation. Just know you’re not alone. 

No one has to be alone. Just look into someone’s eyes and let them know you see them. 

Good Vibes & Happy Lives,

RaeSmiles

[seekingraesmiles-blog]

Say It With Me: “I Love Myself!”

     Almost every post I write has to do with these four letters, l-o-v-e. No, not the cinderella world, idealistic, cheesy love. I’m talking about the self empowering kind. The type that brings my world to a balance. You see, another cannot and will not hurt me when I love myself. Likewise, when I love myself I detach from the lies that entice me to hurt others. The lies that have told me it was okay to raise my voice, to speak out and say or do things I really didn’t mean. I detach from the lies that told me I wasn’t everything I could be. But the truth is, I am. In this very moment I AM everything that I can be. There is always room for improvement but I love the girl I see in the mirror. I’m proud of her. 

     It’s November 15th, 2016 at 8:55 p.m. I’m writing this because I want everyone to know that love begins with YOU. Love yourself. Talk to yourself positively. Stop talking negatively about yourself even if you think it’s a joke. Why? Because somewhere underneath you begin to believe it and then the lies begin to grow. I thought I loved myself last year, and years before that, but I didn’t. I can say with an honest heart that I have found such peace in loving myself. There is a difference in saying it versus believing it. It takes work but it’s right under our noses. Self appreciation is the best gift you can give yourself and others. Don’t take it lightly. You word is everything. Love is everything. 

Good Vibes & Happy Lives

-RaeSmiles