tw: weight, body image
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so …… just weighed myself (which i NEVER EVER do) bc i had a bad feeling and clocked the highest weight i have ever been. which my logical side of my brain is screaming does not matter!!!! getting a number down is not worth a relapse!!! but it really put me in my feels and i did have to talk myself down from a panic attack. forced myself to power through a banana for breakfast.
like …. it all makes sense ofc to gain weight as i haven’t been super active as of late, i have definitely been overeating, and im on my period as well, but im struggling with the cyclical, intrusive thoughts. however……
today is beltane, i am going to a beautiful, isolated beach town about an hour south that i haven’t visited in years to see my grandma, and i woke up healthy with a roof over my head. im going to try not to let this crush my good energy for the day. a FULL, NOURISHED woman is an EMPOWERED woman.
if you read this, thank you. im not the type to vent on here but it just really needed to come out. grateful for my space on here and my friends. all good energy going forward today !!! 🌱🌱