#raisahaque

[raisahaque]

the demons in me won’t quit

they don’t know how

i got so close to the fire

that none of that matters now

i’ve been burnt alive

as my flesh patiently waited

to be scorched

[raisahaque]

we’ll make art in the wind

sit on grass until there are ass prints

we’ll sip our mango smoothies

and make love between the trees

between the sheets

we’ll wrap ourselves with knowledge and dignity

we’ll live in ironic harmony

buzzing to the birds and the bees

their honey needs to be heard too

sweetness in their eyes

sweetness in the lies

we’ll live in contrast and confusion

your heart will only beat to my drum

your eyes will only look where i allow them to

don’t confuse me with another

we are in love remember

let’s act like this luxury we’ve been given won’t be taken for granted

because granted all I can think of is escaping this

loving you for two minutes and then making my break

is that so wrong

will i go to jail for loving too hard or loving too little

and will you text me when it’s over

i need to know if there’s a reset button

i can do better next time

it always takes a next try

what’s next i won’t sigh

we will make it through

we always do

[raisahaque]

he treats your body like a playground

he comes to swing one day, slide the next.

goes on the monkeybars, shoots you a text

you respond because you’re weak and you love him

but he’s using all of your best equipment when convenient for him

your body's a temple. a garden. a home.

it is not a gym. you can’t work this out.

it’s not a bus stop or a local park he visits on his free time.

when he feels like getting some fresh air.

stop giving him favors and treating yourself like a party he must attend.

you’re more than his boyish needs of sometimes and whenever.

you’re ongoing. you’re forevermore and worthy.

you’re in need of some healing. you’re in need of clarity and peace.

don’t worry you’ll get it and you’ll be strong enough to accept nothing but the best for yourself one day because that’s what you’ve always deserved.

you’re not an apartment. you’re a home.

he’s paying his love to you like monthly rent. once a month when it’s required.

you need to require more.

choose wisely on the guests you let in and entertain.

if they suck the life out of you, you need to let go and hold on to what you know is true.

you and only you.

leave the rest to god.

[raisahaque]

who are you trying to impress?

who are you trying to look so good for?

who made you feel like you weren’t enough to be exactly as you are?

and who hurt you so bad that you feel undeserving of good things?

tell me who it was

and tell me it was a dream because to see you so low makes me feel broken inside and you know the two of us broke can never not create a storm

we need each other to ride out these waves

we need to go through it all and get back to doing what we love

get back to who we were before society got ahold of us

before they made us feel unworthy of love

before this all blows up and before i go

you promised me forever

now make it so

[raisahaque]

does it get a rise out of you

to control others

to talk shit get hit

then burn rubbers

does it give you peace

to hurt others

to use and abuse kindness

and empathy and take advantage of that vulnerability

does make it you happy

to know others live in disparity

does it make you a home

if all family members hate your guts

and does it feed your soul

to wake up and spit on lovers you disgust

tell me does it do you any good to do what you do

to bully and act fierce with a weakened mindset

is the mediocrity finally getting to you

And will the pettiness save you?

[raisahaque]

you'll go through many stages of maturing and then going back to your old habits. it's what we do as humans. sometimes it takes repetition to learn. It's all about how you learn and how you teach others to treat you which is key

[raisahaque]

[raisahaque]

spiritual love

i’m finally at peace. praying here with you. praying to a god I never knew. i belong and I’m proud. and you touched me with grace. touched me like you meant it. straight into my soul like a sword. never bent it. i lie awake waiting for these moments. you steal me away with your charm and i never knew love could do no harm. i’m at home. peaceful and praying for more days like this. like this was a kiss from god saying you’ve had enough and let’s breathe. let’s live together and shine and i’ll see you in eternity. then the lord almighty gives me a wink and shuts the door. baby I don’t wanna be poor no more. i’ll let the wind speak our love. I’ll let it make you feel alive and excited to love. for the lord up above we love in grace. through faith and time. this is our moment. where I am yours and you are mine

-Raisa Haque