#raisin wisdom

[all-things-raisin-blog]

My my, it’s the fourth of july

its funny how exactly 2 years ago today, I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t depressed, but I was literally surrounded by assholes that kicked me when I was down aka my family. I found this out by going to a movie on my own instead of going to watch fireworks with my family, or go to a family party.  I actually felt very at ease and had no anxiety whatsoever. Since learning this, me life has improved a lot,  now I’m able to actually put in the type of hardwork I was incapable of back then. my grandparents have my back conditionally, but I know where I need to go, and I now have the energy and self discipline to embark on that journey to get there.(thanks for being able to put that in the perfect words, dude).

so as the fireworks explode, and the dogs bark neurotically, I’ll be reading scott pilgrim vs the world and welcoming in the beginnings of  being a better person, and role model. 

[all-things-raisin-blog]

fanaa

I’ve been affected by the need to not be inside lately. It’s like I’m less anxious about things and am ready to move on to more interesting, rigorous and out of character things for myself.

[all-things-raisin-blog]

Indie Moon

It's been a while. She blocked me on Facebook and this is the best thing to have happened. Do I regret breaking it off with her? Not one bit :) Now for all intents and purposes my past is coming back in a really good way. I touched base with an old friend at like 2 AM at a hookah bar. It was pretty cool at the freedoms I have. I don't exactly like hookah though, especially since I'm trying to get in shape, so I will be limiting that. There's this gal that I really bonded with during my last year of high school, she just graduated, and got in touch today. We will be hanging out soon. I got a 90 percent on my second laboratory report. Capoeira is starting to turn into a passion, and I like the music lessons. My little brothers graduated about a week ago, and it seems like I'm gonna be the shortest one(I'm 6'2). Finally had a beer with my dad. For those that don't know I don't really like my dad, I forgave him a long time ago, but the healing has been slow. So yeah, this is some major progress. Lab report 3 is due in a couple of days, and I finally got around to watching doctor who(on the second half of season 7, so... I'm excited for a whole season to look forward to after that). I'm ready to open up and date someone but I'll hold off on that for a while as I slowly start making a conscious effort to become the person I want to become and establish regular sleeping habits(not). There are certain people that if they showed interest I would ask them in a heartbeat. But they have to be obvious, cause I'm oblivious. So.. Now that I have a lot of anxiety lifted, I feel weightless and smiling sincerely for the first time in years. I hope this is more than a fleeting moment, Ps gosh I want to see you,and feel your beautiful presence again.

[all-things-raisin-blog]

Green greens

I've had a very busy couple of days. Starting with a miniature anxiety attack fueled by not being able to submit a 14 page lab report in(my professor is cool and let me submit it through her computer). Afterwards I went to capoeira class and brought a friend. It's cool to say that I'm getting better with feeling the flow of the music and the physical conversation. It's like I found one of my zen spaces. My friend really enjoyed it as well and was tripping out on how flexible and in shape I'm in (I'm a bigger guy). Afterwards, we had some Chinese cuisine and watched Hot Fuzz, pretty Awesome. The next day was an intensive laboratory day, and also time to see Jurassic Park in iMax 3D. ( thank you drunk raisin for this haha). Went to the bar and had a couple with the guys and discussed the movie and all of its awesomeness. Friday is here now. Went to finaid office to see about different ways of getting stuff done without loosing funding. I'm coming up with a plan. Really sore in my legs from capoeira. I'm planning on running a lot more regularly and swimming as well. Got a job offer In a field related to my studies. I'm going in to see wether I can negotiate schedule cause of school. It was leftover day for dinner: chicken soup and abondiga soup. Yum! Now I'm off to write some stuff on my second lab report. Coffee is in my immediate future☕️ @

[all-things-raisin-blog]

Renewing rain

So it’s pretty humid here, and raining. It feels like Georgia.

Slept in today, then went to lab class. The professor was running late, but we worked on our lab reports anyways. It’s a bitch and a half, but I feel like I’m gonna get an A cause of following the rubric. Had lunch with another female Friend, and someone whom my soul resonates with on a pretty deep level, and yes it’s platonic. She’s very philosophical and we let our minds expand in a chick-fil-A restaurant. She told me I should get a tinder, and how important it is to date and learn about yourself. Now I do know she’s right, but I find myself Not having time to date, and aside from the random thirst that tends to plague the population including yours truly, I haven’t met someone whom would be my nimbus cloud, my companion and my rocketship, as opposed to a metaphorical anchor. I should start dating a bit more casually, but when I have the time. I’m a firm believer that the more you pursue, the less you’ll find in cases of happiness.

Later on I met up with one my closer friends I’ve met here in college, we’re planning on making a gokart on our own. Barnes and nobles is where we will be forming all or schematics and fiscal planning. Welding is in my future. All in all a mildly interesting and very busy day. I’m gonna be up revising my lab report.

See you space cowboy.