#rambling brain

[so-this-is-my-blog-i-guess]

So. I’m driving my kid crazy.

For some reason, I got in the mood to share some music with him. He tends to like softer, blander, singer/songwriter stuff, but I had his attention. So I started with Devo videos. I either sent him 3 or 4. Then every bit of info I know about Mr Mothersbaugh and DEVOtional.

Then I got off on a tangent on Booji Boy. So I shared the page of the guy who makes the masks. And a video from a few years back with quite a number of people with Booji Boy masks on.

Then, because the mask guy makes a bunch of other great masks, I remembered his Eddie mask. So then my poor kid gets subjected to some Iron Maiden and how Eddie has changed through the years.

Then, I sent him the video for Run DMC “Tricky”. Since I know he likes the magicians, and he likes Run DMC; and that kinda ran into a brief history lesson on the popularity of Adidas in the US.

And now that it’s after 3, I’m letting him go to bed. Ha. Poor kid. My brain just goes off sometimes, and I become completely unbearable.

[thisawkwardliving]

No one will ever come close to you. I'm sorry but that's just how things are going to be. Those memories are etched into my brain. If I close my eyes and think of them I can almost feel you. But then I open my eyes, and my stomach sinks. Because you're not right here beside me and I can't feel your skin against mine. ... How I crave to feel that. It's the little things I miss. Hell, I miss it all.

[sinicalsylveon]

Things I've learned tonight while trying not to go insane by frustration: [1] Golden is the best track on FoB's Infinity on High [2] If the schedule says I'm a cashier and I get pulled for stocking, I STILL need to sign on a register. [3] The last four months is my fault. [4] Mexican Sprite is cheaper. [5] I shouldn't be allowed to muse about AUs extensively as I tend to make them be emotionally torturous in the beginning then try to make them fluffy. Oh so fluffy. [6] On that thought, I'm a sadist. [7] On that thought, too, most rpers are. [8] Once more on that, it'll backfire and I'll regret the feels. Is it 7 am yet? Exhausted.

[tsfye]

What if we were all one.

I'm not talking about one love, or living as one (which I wished people would do, one is the least loneliest number, if you think about it..)

But I'm saying like, what if we were all the same people. We were all eachother. We were all one soul with different forms. Plants, animals, humans, we were all eachother as one soul as different forms all at the same time, that dies and gets reborn back again. We were all the same one existence, and this is the world our earth 'god' created for us, to grow as one in this universe that was created for us, and we were just one of many different universe that were created, not by our god, but by their god. Like each universe had it's own god, and each living thing withen it's universe shared one soul.. Which brings me to another thing.

What's the point of it all? We grow as one, never stop growing, what is the point to existence? It's just this, this enormous magical beautiful thing, just this. Maybe this is hell, and there's a heaven and we're all admitted into heaven once this one soul grows.. but then once in heaven, what would be the point there?

I'm asking what's the meaning of life, or existence itself, which is bullshit on my part. I always believe the meaning of life was to mature our souls, the soul our body has, to get reincarnated over and over and mature withen every life to eventually become some sort of hero in some next life and to better the world. But I keep thinking.

I don't even know, I'm just saying shit. I should've been asleep awhile ago. Goodnight world.