Ace Attorney trial at the kitchen table
Dad: So you accused me of something?
Me: I did?
Mom: Yes, you did earlier.
Me: I can’t remember. The day is long, it’s lunchtime. I already forgot what I had for breakfast.
Mom:…
Dad:…
Me:…so what did I accuse you of?
Mom: Remember earlier at the fridge.
Me: oh YEAH, my Milchschnitte!
Me: You ate it, admit it!
Dad: *lies horribly* No, I didn’t.
Me: Look at his face! Look at his little smile! He totally did it!
Dad: You can’t prove it.
Me: You stole two of them! I remember exactly, yesterday there were two left and now they are gone!
Dad: *confused* But I only ate one-
Me: HAH! I got u to confess! You are guilty!
Dad:…do you know what leasing is?
Me: Oh would you look at that, now he tries to turn this trial around on me. *leans back in the chair* Come on, try me. I’m ready.
Mom: *laughs the whole time*
Dad: Do you know what it is?
Me: *trying to remember* Was it like… lending stuff in return for money?
Dad: It’s like lending a car and one the time is up you can decide if you want to buy it or return it.
Me: So?
Dad: That laptop battery I bought you the other day? You leased it and now I want my money.
Me: *having forgot that I still owed him but not wanting to lose* What?? Show me the mail in which the sells person says it’s on lease!
Dad: *laughs*
Me: If you can’t give me prove it does not count!
Dad: *keeps laughing and insists on the lease*
Me: *keeps insisting on him having to prove it*
Me: *light bulb turns on* Okay, okay. You know what? Your Milchschnitte crimes are forgiven.
Dad:…
Me:…I mean you got my Milchschnitte. That counts for a lease, now we are even.
Mom: *having the time of her life*
Dad: *trying to turn it back on me* Oh yeah? Where did you got your Milchschnitte? Tell me!
Me: *laughs*
Dad: Tell me!
Me: Mom bought it for me.
Dad: Hah, see! It doesn’t count!
Me: It does! She called me as soon as she came home with them, telling them they were mine. They are a gift, ergo in my possession!
Dad: *loses it* No, that’s not-
Me: In my possession! They are mine and you got it. It counts as a lease!
Dad: *turning to my mom* Ah hah! And where did you get it?!
Mom: *surprise Pikachu face*
Dad: Where did you get it??
Mom: I bought it-
Dad: With the money you lend from MY PURSE!
Mom: :O
Me: :O
My cat: :O
Me: How many criminals are at this table??