#random actually

[booleman]

[ bonks ] no more lily luna potter her name is now minerva lily (or lily minerva) potter

[dragonidpyrus12]

Just went and blurred out the name as I'm not anymore in the server but that comment is gold. 👌

[idamrki]

bunny bun

[notababy-babygirl]

THERE IS NO PERFECT RELATIONSHIP.

Once in a while, it is becoming a RELATIONSHIT. But it does’t mean that it will stay just like that. Problems, quarrels, arguments, misunderstanding and other unhealthy issues will come on your way. It is indeed inevitable. You might say “I give up” or “Let’s end it up”, but trust me-- the love is still there. You’re just tired, but still you are inlove. Take a deep breath, and then ask yourself.

“Is she/he really worthy of my love?”

[little0death]

I saw a painting yesterday and it was of a young child with a hoody on, and you could only see one eye (it was somewhat a little creepy) Anyhow i went on to read the description and it stated that basically he wanted to show people the more negative side to having children, how they can strip away your patience, and basically turn you insane. I read it and was kind of shocked to kind of have that understanding that not normally do people promote the emotional impact on having a child, and he basically stated how it can change a person through and through. 

[weology]

She lost her parents.

She lost him.

And then she lost herself.

Caia Jezebel wasn't the kind of girl who think much about what happen to herself, she pretty much let all the things around her go with the flow. She did what come across her mind without thinking about it again. From simple things like changing her usual tea time to a sudden coffee time to complicated things like volunteering herself in The Hunger Games, fully realize that there was a big possibility that she wouldn't won the game and then die, with people cheering when she died because hello, she came from a career district, she automatically became an antagonist in the games. Not that she minded that.

Those decisions she made, believe it or not, had reasons behind it. Sometimes she felt like she wanted to give up on live. No one loved her, she didn't have a future because face it, the only thing that she was good at was using knives. Her parents pretty much didn't even aware of her presences, people hated her. She got nothing to live for so if she died, she didn't lose anything. Her plan was simple. To have fun on the arena. If she won then good, she would have a good life in glory with her neglecting parents. If she died then good, no one would mourn anyway, even herself.

But then things happened.

Things like feelings and Levin Axlerod.

She thought it was stupid that he wanted to protect her sister, she knew that he really mean it when he said that he would sacrifice himself for Lorraine. And she thought it was really foolish. She couldn't stop scoffing about it. But she realized that she was actually feeling a pang of jealousy. She was jealous because she knew no one would do that for her. She was jealous because she was numb, she couldn't do what Levin could do. And then she started to want that kind of affection, she wanted to feel loved again. She couldn't stop looking at him, hoping that someone like him, anyone, would come to her and keep up with her even with her dark sides.

Arena wasn't as fun as people in her district made it out to be. It was hard. She had to bear with pains. She had to resist the urge to yell at President Snow every time she hurt someone. She had to resist the urge to kill herself because she actually became a killing machine. She wanted to feel satisfaction because she became what people expected her to be. But she couldn't. Maybe she really can't feel any emotions and maybe that was actually good. She wanted herself to be a sociopath, someone without burdens.

She killed Levin. Indirectly, but she knew that she was one of the reason Levin died. If she didn't shot him, he won't fell asleep and the earth wouldn't kill him so easily. When she touched his limp body, she wanted to cry. She can't, because she hated being perceived as weak. But she felt depression rose, she felt grief for the first time, but she also felt happy. Happy because she felt his affection for her, he said that he liked her. Because of her bravery. And then for the last minutes of his life, he made her felt like a human again. Not a machine. She kissed his forehead quickly before standing up and then decided on one thing:

She wouldn't won this game. She didn't want to win this game.

So she took a shot in the dark to be where he was.

[theblackdeltra-blog]

"I know that sometimes you want to die or kill yourself, but before you think of going through with it, make sure you've done the following: Had a first kiss Failed a class Smoked a cigarette Gotten drunk Had sex Skipped school Cry when you feel you need to Made it to year 12"

Seeing it now, I feel like such an adult. Considering I've now done everything on this list, I think I have permission to die now, according to my diary.