Raphael's Coming?! Devilgram (Newspaper)
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Mammoney: Raphael’s comin’?!
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*HOL common room*
Lucifer: This is a nightmare…
Simeon: *patient smile* Oh, don’t be so blue, Lucifer!
Are you all right?
Simeon: Hello, Chise. I see you’ve come.
Lucifer: *frown* …Do I look all right to you?
–
2. I’ll pretend I didn’t see that.
Simeon: *surprised* Hm? When did you get here, Chise?
Lucifer: I didn’t hear you come in. Where exactly do you think you’re going?
Simeon: Lucifer’s feeling a bit upset at the moment. Would you help me cheer him up?
Lucifer: *glare* I don’t need “cheering up.”
Simeon: *patient smile* Now, now.
Simeon: You see, we’ve received news that Raphael is visiting us from the Celestial Realm. I, for one, can’t wait to see him. Lucifer, on the other hand…
I’m excited too!
Lucifer: Don’t you start. There is absolutely nothing to be excited about.
Simeon: I don’t believe you’ve met him yet, have you, Chise? I’m sure you two will get along just fine. I can make the introductions, so would you like to join us for dinner tomorrow?
Lucifer: *sulking* You two can go by yourselves. I shall be sitting this one out.
Simeon: *sad* That won’t do, Lucifer! You have to be there too!
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2. What’s Raphael doing here?
Lucifer: *more scowling* Good question. What indeed?
Simeon: You haven’t met him yet, right, Chise? I can make the introductions once he’s here.
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Lucifer: Why is he even visiting us in the first place? Surely, there’s no need for us to meet face-to-face.
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Belphie: Raphael DOES like his sermons.
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Simeon: Why are you so reluctant to see him? He was your brother once upon a time.
Lucifer: *head shake* And that is no longer the case–“was” being the operative word.
Simeon: *sad* But you were so close.
What happened?
Simeon: Well… Lucifer, do you mind if I tell Chise what happened between you and Raphael?
Lucifer: *pretending unconcern, but actually sulking* Say what you will, I don’t care.
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2. Are you secretly embarrassed to meet him?
Lucifer: I see you have seriously misconstrued my words.
Simeon: That’s exactly what I thought too, Chise.
Lucifer: That’s not true in the slightest. I have many reasons, but embarrassment is not one of them.
Simeon: Still, I understand how it must be awkward for you.
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Simeon: …Raphael is a seraphim, the same as Michael and Lucifer. Being the youngest of the three, he looked up to and adored his older brothers to no end. …That is, until the Great Celestial War began. At the outbreak of the war, everyone was forced to choose sides between Lucifer and Michael. Raphael was no exception. In the end, Raphael chose Michael.
Lucifer: …
Simeon: To be honest, I was rather taken aback by his decision. I was sure that he would pick you, Lucifer.
Lucifer: Knowing him… He probably hasn’t forgiven me yet for what happened.
Simeon: *sad* Perhaps… The fact that you haven’t seen each other at all since the war doesn’t help either.
Why not apologize to Raphael when you see him?
Lucifer: *glare* Me, apologize? And what, pray tell, do I have to apologize for?
Simeon: *grimace* Ouch, Chise. You really hit a nerve with that one…
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2. Wow, that IS awkward.
Lucifer: And now you understand why I loathe this situation.
Simeon: *reluctant* Still, I can understand where both of you are coming from.
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Lucifer: Besides, even if I decide to meet him, I’m sure all I’ll get is a lengthy sermon. *bitter* He does so enjoy dishing them out.
Simeon: Who knows? It could be his way of showing affection.
Lucifer: If so, his attempts are severely misguided.
Simeon: *sigh* …Even so, you must come tomorrow. Surely, you wouldn’t miss a chance to dine with us?
Lucifer: Drop it, I said.
Simeon: *soft smile* If you won’t come willingly, then I’ll simply have to drag you there.
Lucifer: …! All right, fine! I’ll go. Chise, you’re free tomorrow, aren’t you?
Yes.
Lucifer: Good. Make sure to keep it that way.
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2. Um, actually, I’m kinda busy…
Lucifer: It’s no use trying to bluff your way out. I can tell from your face that you’re lying. You will join me tomorrow.
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You want me to come along?
Lucifer: Yes. Your company will be a welcome distraction.
Simeon: Good call. Having Chise there might help keep things cool.
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2. You want me to help you deter Raphael?
Lucifer: As much as I wish that were the case… No. You’re to accompany me when we meet him tomorrow.
Simeon: There’s an idea. Chise’s presence can distract Raphael from having to talk to Lucifer.
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Lucifer: You’re to join us tomorrow, understood?
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Beelzeburger: I want to eat Luke and Sime…
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*outside HOL*
Simeon: *concerned* Wait, Chise! It’s late. I’ll walk you back.
Nah, it’s fine. I’ll be okay.
Simeon: *apologetic smile* Please, I insist. There’s something I want to talk to you about.
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2. Thanks, I’d like that.
Simeon: *smile* Great. I wanted to have a word with you in private.
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Simeon: Thank you back there for your help with Lucifer. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting him to be so against the idea of meeting Raphael. Long-winded lectures, awkwardness over the situation with Michael… Normally, that sort of thing doesn’t bother Lucifer. So, I was thinking there might be something else. Some deeper reason why Lucifer doesn’t want to meet Raphael.
Simeon: *grimace* Well, I think I have a general idea of what it might be. But after observing Lucifer’s behaviour in the Devildom, I’ve come to realize that he’s still fundamentally the same person at his core. So I’m not too worried. *smile* Still, I’d appreciate it if you could give me a hand in helping him tomorrow. I’m certain Raphael has more than a few things to say to him.
Leave it to me!
Simeon: I knew I could trust you with this. Lucifer was right to have you accompany him.
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2. I don’t know if I can be of any help.
Simeon: Don’t worry. You just have to be there and stand up for Lucifer when necessary.
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Luke: *pant* *pant* I might have gone overboard with the shopping…
Solomon: *patient smile* What did I tell you?
Luke: Hm…? Chise! Simeon!
Simeon: You’re late, Luke.
Luke: There were just too many dishes I wanted Raphael to try during his first visit to the Devildom, and it took a while to buy all the ingredients.
Simeon: *taken aback* Do you mean to say these are all for Raphael’s welcome party?
Luke: Yeah… *unsure* I guess I might have bought too much, huh?
Simeon: *amused* Haha, I’m sure he’ll appreciate the thought.
Luke: *perks up* I wasn’t sure how I would manage at first, but luckily, I ran into Solomon on the way home. He helped me carry the bags all the way here.
Simeon: *nod* Thank you for that, Solomon.
Solomon: *pleasant smile* It’s no trouble at all.
You’re really kind, Solomon.
Solomon: *delighted* I just happened to bump into him on my way to pick you up, that’s all.
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2. Looking forward to the food tomorrow!
Luke: *excited* Just watch! I’m going to make all the awesome meals and sweets I’ve tasted here in the Devildom! I had Barbatos teach me all the recipes! That being said, Simeon will be doing most of the cooking…
Simeon: You’re not just a helper anymore, Luke. Look at all those delicious desserts you’ve been making.
Luke: *smile* Really? That means a lot coming from you, Simeon.
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Solomon: *serious* So, Raphaels’ coming, is he…?
Simeon: Wait, do you know him by any chance, Solomon? Would you like to join us tomorrow?
Solomon: *smile* Are you sure? Well then, I wouldn’t refuse an invitation.
Luke: *beaming* The more, the merrier! Plus, I did get all these groceries, so we need all the help we can get!
Solomon: Shall we get going then, Chise?
Simeon: We’ll see you tomorrow, okay?
Luke: Bye!
*Simeon & Luke leave**
Solomon: So, Raphael did visit the Devildom in the past. Or is it our presence that’s somehow changed things? Either way, it seems like it’ll be Raphael’s first time seeing the brothers since the war. It may be a good opportunity for them.
I agree.
Solomon: I hope their relations can change for the better. I’m sure your presence will help lessen the tension too.
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2. Are you sure things won’t get complicated?
Solomon: *worried* It’s hard to say for sure. Both of them are pretty stubborn, after all… I doubt anything disastrous will happen, though. *relaxes, smiles* Besides, you’ll be there. I’m sure you’ll work your magic.
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Solomon: *wider smile* Tomorrow promises to be exciting.
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monSOLO: Job well done.
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*HOL dining room*
Simeon: Thank you for coming today, everyone. Chise, Solomon, I’d like you to meet Raphael.
Raphael: *nod* Pleased to meet you.
Long time no see!
Raphael: Excuse me…? I’m sorry, have we met?
Solomon: *jumps* Oh, sorry about that! *patient smile* That’s just how Chise and I greet friends within our circle. We say stuff like that–regardless of whether we’ve met before–as a means of breaking the ice.
Raphael: …What a peculiar tradition.
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2. Likewise, Raphael.
Raphael: So you are Chise. Simeon’s told me so much about you.
Simeon: *smiling fondly* Chise’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever encountered! I’m sure you’ll quickly be friends.
Raphael: *exasperated* And when have any of your acquaintances not been nice? You say the same thing about every single person you introduce me to. Anyway, it’s nice to meet you.
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Lucifer: It’s been a while since we last met.
Raphael: …In more ways than one. Where are your brothers, by the way?
Lucifer: Out and about, running errands for Diavolo.
Raphael: I’ll take that to mean they’ve successfully excused themselves for the day.
Lucifer: *resigned* …Indeed, it would seem so.
Raphael: Cowering in their boots that I’ll rain my spears down upon them? They haven’t changed one bit, have they? They’re right, though. I did intend on doing as much.
Th-That’s terrifying…!
Raphael: Sorry, I didn’t catch that.
Simeon: *touching back of neck with nervous smile* C-Catch what? I didn’t hear anything! Isn’t that right, Chise?
Raphael: …If you say so. Let’s move along then.
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2. Exactly. They’re always like that.
Raphael: You seem to know them well.
Lucifer: No surprise there, considering how they give Chise no shortage of trouble at the House of Lamentation.
Raphael: Interesting. I didn’t think anyone besides you and I was capable of putting up with their nonsense.
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Raphael: Truth be told, however, I’m only here to check on Simeon and Luke, not on you or your brothers.
Lucifer: *frown* In that case, I see no reason to offer my hospitality.
Luke: *nervous* I-Is it just me, or did it suddenly get colder in here…?
Solomon: *pained smile* It feels like the Devildom’s about to freeze over.
Simeon: *also pained smile* A-Anyway, why don’t we go ahead and eat?!
Luke: *nod* Y-Yeah, great idea! *perks up* Simeon replicated the Devildom dishes I thought were tasty AND recreated some Celestial food using Devildom ingredients!
Raphael: How fascinating.
Lucifer: I can’t remember the last time I had food from the Celestial Realm. I’m impressed you were able to recreate them with ingredients from the Devildom.
Simeon: *nod* I did my best to ensure the flavours were close to the original, so it should be to your liking. Here you go, Chise. This is for you.
Thank you.
Lucifer: *surprised* …Hm.
Luke: Hmm?
Simeon: *shocked* Urk…?!
Lucifer: *in disgust* Bleugh!
Simeon: Ack…! *cough* *cough*
Luke: UUUUGH!
Solomon: *innocent confusion* Hm? What’s wrong?
Lucifer: *dismayed* M-My tongue feels as though it’s on fire…!
Simeon: How on earth did this happen?! It was perfectly fine when I tasted it earlier!
Luke: This is it… I’m… done for… Everything’s fading… to black…
Was it the ingredients?
Simeon: It can’t be… Like I said, I made sure to taste everything, and besides, none of the seasonings I used could possibly create this sort of flavour.
Luke: Who was the last person to work on this?
Solomon: *delighted smile* Me. I thought the flavour was lacking, so I put a few things in.
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2. Solomon, did you do something?
Solomon: *delighted smile* I did. I thought the flavour was lacking, so I tossed in a few extra spices.
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Lucifer: *scowling* Ugh…! That explains things!
Luke: How you managed to do this with seasoning alone is beyond me…
Simeon: *eyes widen* This is bad…! Who knows what Raphael will tell Michael if he finds out we’ve been eating this sort of food…?
We need to trick him.
Simeon: *unsure* Trick him? But how? He’s already eating.
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2. We’ve got to keep him from blabbing.
Lucifer: *serious* That appears to be our only choice. How shall we go about silencing him?
Simeon: W-Wait! Isn’t there some other way? Something less violent?
Lucifer: It’s too late now. He’s already taken a bite.
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Raphael: …
Simeon: *nervous smile* Er, Raphael…?
Raphael: …What is this?
Simeon: I can explain…
Raphael: *smiles* It tastes absolutely divine!
Simeon: *taken aback* What?
Lucifer: Has he gone mad?
Raphael: *munch* *munch* *gulp* …This is delicious! Does every meal in the Devildom taste like this? These Celestial dishes recreated with Devildom ingredients are *munch* *munch* really good too. They taste almost like the real thing. *happy smile* It looks like I’ll have to change my assessment of the Devildom. *slurp*
Simeon: *uncertain smile* I’m not sure what just happened, but… I guess we’re okay?
Lucifer: *in disbelief* He’s practically inhaling his food…
Luke: Does he even have taste buds? I’m not sure what to think of him anymore…
Raphael: I’ll have another serving, please.
Simeon: W-Well… As long as he’s happy, that’s all that matters.
Lucifer: *cracks a smile* Pfft… *chuckle* Look at you, stuffing your face like a child.
Raphael: There’s no need to mock me. Why don’t you hurry up and eat too?
Lucifer: It’s all right. I’ve had my fill. You can have my plate.
Raphael: *smile* Fine. No take backs.
Lucifer: *fond chuckle*
Simeon: *soft excitement* Is it just me, or do they seem to be getting along…?
Solomon: *grinning* I’m so glad I added those extra seasonings.
Lucifer: *scowl, head shake* Don’t you EVER do that again, you hear me?
Solomon: *jumps in surprise* Huh? But why?
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Text chat: Fab Snap 1 (from House of Lamentation (New)(8))
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Asmo: Attention, everyone!
Asmo: I, Asmodeus, have been selected as the official Ambassador for Fab Snap!
Asmo: 😍
Good for you.
Uh-huh.
Levi: LMAO I’m dying at how unimpressed Chise sounds.
Asmo: Wait, why aren’t the REST of you saying anything?!
Asmo: Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of Fab Snap?!
Asmo: Gosh, you’re all hopeless. Listen, Fab Snap is…
Levi: Uh, hello? We have accounts too. In fact, YOU’RE the one that made them for us.
Mammon: Just how observant can ya be?
Mammon: Anyway, I don’t really get what an ambassador is.
Satan: They’re essentially a spokesperson for a brand if I’m not mistaken.
Asmo: I can’t believe you don’t know how amazing it is to be chosen as an ambassador for Fab Snap.
Asmo: I’m ashamed to call you guys my brothers!
Asmo: 😢