#raphmazins

[asheewrites]

RaphMazinates 6

I talked to them both about a threesome. They both were blushing. When I mentioned the third partner, they blushed in a way that said they didn't mind in the slightest. Henoch agreed to let her decide on what would happen in bed. She had quite some ideas, I shrugged and happily agreed. We all decided Mister Loew's apartment was the best choice for the meeting - no other roommates, he had keys, no one would actually ask any questions... ... I didn't have a very long way home...

Everything was set up, I met Gabrielle, we rung at "Mister Loew"'s door, I kissed him and pushed him back into his flat, I closed the door while he kissed her - he still was a bit of an ass-guy, eve with women, it seemed. There were a few words exchanged, Gabrielle got used to Henoch's dick in record time and she did become rather flustered at being filled both ways. Henoch still liked to be commanded around, especially in round two. And that was that, I supposed. They both were exhausted enough, she had slept in with her head on his adorably  hairy chest... he with an arm wrapped around both our waists. All right! I climbed out of bed, he put his other arm around her as well. He shall enjoy that before she wakes halfway up and struggles free. Anyway. The condoms were all removed and appropriately in the garbage bins, I applied a blanket to the both of them... and then tiptoed out of there. Mission success! Or at least a night of good sex had happened. And Henoch was a morning-after guy. So that would certainly work out. Meanwhile, I let myself out and ascended to the top floor. I was glad to come home and see the silver haired beanpole at the table, scribbling notes. "I see you had an exciting evening," I said, toeing my shoes off. I was faced with a towel. Literally. Because he had thrown it over my head. Kind of impressive, from half the room away. When I had pulled it down, he said: "Take a shower this time, then you can lurk around" So open to conversation... I rolled my eyes and - for peace of home - did just that. Admittedly, it felt nice to be... clean. Sweat drying on your skin actually is just as unappealing as it sounds like. ... but the satisfied tiredness goes, too. And any semblance of good mood, since one is supposed to sleep after sex. At least after exhausting sex. So he would have to cheer me up now. At least with company. As insufferable as he was. I walked out with a towel around my hips and opened my mouth. "Your pyjamas are in the lefthand-side shelf," he said, oly looking up for a second. I closed my mouth again, scowled and then opened it again to say: "Can't you at least let me make a quip?!" With a huff, I still turned around and got... "Raph, this is a ball of fluff" "True," he said. And that was that. The ball of fluff turned out to be a hoodie. Which didn't scratch. And pants. Which were reasonably un-fluffy on the inside. Then I stepped out: "Why did you feel the need to dress me as a labradoodle?" Since I certainly felt like one. "What... is that supposed to be?" He frowned at me. But then shook is head and made a beckoning motion: "Come here" He patted the sofa space next to him. What was happening? But alright. I walked over, careful not to topple his tower of notes: "Alright, beanpole, what's up?" He grabbed a pillow and put it on his lap, patted that as well. ... after ten seconds of staring, I said, doubtful: "Should I... sit down on your lap?" It was unlikely, since he still had his book. "What? No!" He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me sideways, putting my head on his lap. I let it happen, since I was still confused. And... well... I couldn't say he ever did something to harm me. Now he put a blanket on me. I pulled my legs up. Then I cleared my throat: "You.. .are aware this is... odd, yes?" "Oh. Yes. But you are odd. And whenever you come home after you had sex, you start moping and annoy me. And the next morning, there is always oatmeal" "... you realise nothing of this explains what just happened. Anyway, did you just admit to *not liking* something? Food-wise?" But at least the PJs were comfy. He handed me my phone and earbuds and said, with an eyeroll in his voice: "Oatmeal is perfectly fine, but it's... a weird consistency. Slimey. Anyway. You need some more oxytocin" I wriggled one earbud in and put on a few calm tunes: "... so you put me in your lap" He actually had a food-preference. Maybe he was not a robot after all. "Yes. And put you in soft, warm fabric," he resettled himself a little, taking a smaller book in his hand. And the other... went into my hair. "... are you petting me?" I had almost startled away from the touch. And sounded incredulous, even to my ears. There was a bit of a defensive tone when he said: "You let a lot of people touch you. And this should work" ... I noticed I didn't mind. Ah well: "Work how?" "Well, you should be less annoying and have a better mood tomorrow morning," he continued the pets, but took a different place every few seconds. I yawned. Then said: "You're using me as a test subject" "Then I botched it. If you are aware it's a test it's likely not working," he flipped a page in his small book, one handed. "... you're still totally keeping notes" "Maybe," he shrugged. "I'll totally still annoy you," I'd tell him all about this night. In all the ways it totally had worked. "I'm counting on it," he ruffled my hair. If I woke up with a crick in my neck, I could still murder him.

[asheewrites]

RaphMazinates 5

"... Mister Loew sweetened my coffee today," I said, while I filled soup into into my roommates bowl. He looked up from his book for a moment, then he sighed: "My condolences, but I am almost certain you made him do it" Pulling a bit of a face, I filled my own bowl: "Just because he doesn't want to admit that he wants my ass, it's not really my fault" His eyes not leaving the page he's on, he grabs the spoon and sips carefully: "Not everyone is as comfortable with their own perceived sexuality as you are" "Well, that's not my problem, is it?," I said, just kind of wanting a reaction. He huffed: "It is, if you don't want your coffee overly sweet" "You shorten all conversations to the barest minimum and lays out plans as simple as possible," I said and pointed at him with a spoon. "Yes, because I can do that with you. I wouldn't do the same with mister Loew," he said, not impressed by spoon or words. "Awwwww, so you prefer me over hiiiiim" And he actually paused for a moment, as if he had to think about it. Then he shrugged and said: "Not always. But it's nice not to have to second guess what you say" "He wouldn't have wanted you anyway", I grumbled. And he shrugged: "He has... 'your ass', that might be enough for certain things" "I don't think so. So I think I should push him a little in the right direction," because it was a bit of a precarious situation. Even if his dick was great. After half a minute of pause, I hard: "... so?" "What?," I asked, because he always seemed like he didn't listen anyway. "What are you going to do?" Oh. Well. "I'll have a threesome with him and a very lovely lady that also seems to be looking for someone. I think they's fit well together. Besides: They are both adventurous and might like a threesome!" Raphael turned a page. Then said: "Are you sure you are the best person to give relationship advice?" "... are you calling me out? In my own house?" "It's Mister Loew's house. And I merely observed you do not seem to maintain relationships yourself" "I can judge sexual chemistry, it's important," I frowned. He sighed again: "Sure" And then he stood up: "Thanks for the meal, I'll wash the dishes in half an hour," and with that, he trotted off. ... I'd show him that I WAS the best person to ask

[asheewrites]

RaphMazinates4

"I tried to pawn you off to my new roommate," I said, sitting down at the counter with a tiny sulk. Mister Loew stiffened. Even if just for a moment. Likely to check that really no one else was here right now. Then he turned and handed me my usual coffee: "For the dude accusing me of seeing nothing but a sex object in you, this was... awkward. Hello Mazin, I hope you are having a nice day!" I huffed. And took the tiniest sip of coffee, then I said: "... see, I have no problem in getting to know people." 

He continued to clean the coffee maker then: "You know? I am listening, you'll alert me if you actually want participation in this monologue" It was just as well, I did feel sulky, so I said: "You, for example, are a stickler for rules. You keep things nice and tidy and orderly. You think a job well done is worth it. You like when people listen and think they should listen to you. You have a certain authority, you like to exert it, but are tired of it at the end of the day. You need someone to command you around a little, someone to please. You want a real relationship... and you are quite sexually repressed" He cleared his throat there: "I can throw you out, you know?" "But in a cute way. Very interesting when you get experimental," I shrugged, easily. And the tip of his ears grew darker. Difficult to see with his complexion, but I got some experience. But now he decided to get mean: "... I can put salt in your coffee" Which was fair. "So, well, my roommate is also a stickler for rules! And he does commandeer people in certain areas. And he is nothing but polite to my lady guests, never flirts back when they see him in the morning, all impeccable and gentlemanly. So I suggested you, because... as I told you just now, that might have worked!" He lifted and shook the salt a little. "Anyway. He was not interested, but insisted I put the cleaning schedule back where I found it, told me he appreciates your sense of order, did remember you" Henoch nodded: "He is a respectable young man" "You appreciate quite a few not-respectable features of young m-NOnonoono, not the coffee! I'll shut up!" I pulled it towards me when he approached it, bringing crystalline doom to my beverage. Holding the cup close to my chest, I huffed: "He never sleeps and he cleans up messes and he's polite and he studies all the time and he eats whatever I give him without complaint and he's just... there. He doesn't give me a hard time, ever. It's just easy to live with him. And if I try to give him a little bit of a hard time, it barely affects him" A button is pressed and the machine starts to make the huffing noises it does when cleaning itself. He turned around and looked at me for a moment: "You're mad that you don't get a rise out of him" "It's fun to rile people up! And you get to know them better!" I might have gotten a little agitated, there, but ended with just a tiny grumble. Henoch was way too amused: "Well, he apparently gets a rise out of you" "... it's frustrating. He gets a little terse sometimes, sure, but nothing flusters him and nothing actually agitates him. He's just... there. Like a robot," and it was annoying. My barista had sat down now (sans salt-weapon) and nursed his own tea, looking at me patiently. I looked back, getting more annoyed by the second. After a long sip, he finally said: "Oh! I can talk now?" Well, I had that one coming, didn't I? After one more pause, he said, after clearing his thought: "He was a very sensible and friendly young man when I met him. Very polite, too. He told me of some concerns and specifically requested the upmost floor, was delighted when there was a space in your flat. So... make of that what you will. But how about your talk to him? He doesn't see like an unreasonable person and that much frustration can not be good for you" I stared at him: "... you would like me some more frustra-NO!" I stared at the poor coffee in my hands. "There. Have a very *sweet* day, so you can calm down. And not bother any innocent bystanders too much" Maybe I deserved my sweetened coffee. Maybe. "Thanks" "See you later. Maybe," he had the audacity to smirk at me. ... I probably did need to talk to my roommate.

[asheewrites]

RaphMazinates3

It worked... surprisingly well. The whole living situation, I mean. A lot better and less eventful than I had anticipated. He reminded me I had to clean the dishes, I reminded him that eating required more than drinking a glass of water. He spread his books all over the tables - he studied medicine, apparently - and I didn't say anything and if I spread the clothes of this night's encounter all over the living room, there were two clean heaps the next morning, just like water - or coffee, for the strong-hearted - and aspirin waited for both of us. He didn't police my dating schedule and I didn't question his lack thereof. There was a bit of a lull in conversation at all times, he spend a lot of time in his own room, but really, we didn't argue, we didn't have problems, the bathroom was clean.

I could only shrug when he actually vacuumed at ten. I even giggled when I fell out of bed. It was a strange. Because we lived with one another since half a month and I barely knew a damn thing about him. Name, birthday, subject of study, apparently never slept (he was awake when I went to bed and was awake when I got up) and was not a picky eater, actually ate anything one put in front of him. Slowly, unwillingly, but he did. Aaaand... that's it. No idea why he had grey hair when he otherwise looked young, no idea where he came from, no idea what his favourite movie was, even he even knew what a TV is. I hadn't even seen his laptop yet!

The urge to one day just break into his bedroom rose. But... I couldn't do that, either. After all, he did kind of make my life... easier. So. Mh. When I walked home the next day, I walked past the cleaning schedule. And decided to take it with me. When dinner rolled around this time - I made a salad, he seemed to be able to munch that right away. spread croutons and chicken in it, to actually give him some substance. I joined him a minute into his crunching with a hamburger. And slid the schedule towards him: "It's our turn to clean the floors next month" He stared at the schedule, then frowned a little: "You took this from the whiteboard floor below" Which... was true. So he studied those, at least: "... so you knew about that" "Yes, but you took it with you, didn't photograph it" "Well, we are the last ones, no one else needs the schedule anyway," this wasn't the point of- He frowned some more - while munching - and said: "It's to inform everyone" "You know, you should talk to the landlord, he's the same way about schedules. And he's handsome!" I wriggled my brows, because I could always do that. He huffed and munched some more: "Mister Loew certainly would not appreciate being judged like this" "Ooooooh, so you did appreciate his handsomeness!" Raphael looked tired for a moment: "He explained to me the cleaning schedule, and he's our landlord, there is nothing to 'appreciate', he simply keeps his schedules since he takes good care of the house" Ah. That. ... I still didn't know a damn thing about him. Great. He ate the carrots last. That was something, right?

[asheewrites]

RaphMazinates2

I blinked at the sheet of paper. He had written up a schedule. An actual schedule. In university! Who cleans the dishes, who does the laundry, who does grocery shopping from the common fund, who cooks - pardon, provides food, he apparently can't cook? -, who brings out the garbage, who cleans the toilet, who the bathroom, the living room, the floor, the kitchen, the microwave. Cooking isn't that had for me and he took almost all cleaning duties. I could deal with that. He also told me he would air the place whenever necessary. It sounded threatening. Also that he would vacuum at ten in the morning. On saturdays. This sounded even more like a threat. "You should vacuum thoroughly, I've fucked on every single surface in here," because really, I was used to making other people uncomfortable. His ghostliness made that a little hard. But he simply nodded, then said: "Keep in mind that your partner might be uncomfortable if I came home at a not specified time. Restricting such activities to your bedroom is advisable" And. I mean. He was right, but... "I'm sure you've written an essay on fun once. Certainly you're an expert now" At which he huffed and shrugged: "You are not allowed in my bedroom, I'm not allowed in yours. Everything else belongs to both of us. The bathroom can be locked, specific times can be pre-planned" I made a face at that and said: "We'll eat together" Because we hadn't actually talked about anything I wanted. He frowned at me. "What? Not on a timed... schedule. Like *this*," I pointed at the one we had wit a bit of disdain, "but if we're both in the flat, I can knock at your door and you have to come grab a bite" The expression he wore was one receiving an especially cruel punishment, but he nodded: "If that's what you want" "Yes," I said. And watched him stand up. "Fair enough. We'll get along fine, I suppose," and then he walked into his room. And I had a housework schedule in front of me. This was weird.

[asheewrites]

Silly Roommate-stories

So. College was about as nice as I thought it would be.

Math posed an actual challenged, the different programming languages were mostly frustrating, but some were actually good enough to use them regularly.

And, of course, the evenings. With all their wonderful little opportunities for a bit of weed and a bit of planting advice – giving and taking.

I took care never to drink too much, found myself ladies and gentlemen to entertain me and simply had a good time.

Student’s discounts made everything cheaper and the supermarket provided enough food to satisfy any and all kind of munchies.

And then, there was my roommate.

During my first year, I had been spared this destiny. Sure I had started out with one, but they dropped out. The second had too much fun with the night life, the third couldn’t take my weed-smelling ass and the fourth was not fond of my honesty. Maybe the fact that it’s an attic-student home didn’t help, either. Six floor up.

But this morning, one day before the semester started, a beanpole walked in.  A very pale bean.

He looked around, spotted me and lifted his hand to say: “Hello, my name is Raphael Israfil, I’m your new roommate”

“Damn, weird look and weird name,” I leaned forward and grinned.

He tilted his head: “Correct. ‘Ruthven’ is unusual as well”

So he had looked that up, at least. I shrugged and said: “Awww, you afraid I’ll bite you in the night?”

“No,” he said and turned to walk into the second bedroom, apparently getting rid of his bag.

That’s all there was.

Well, I thought, another weirdo.

After about then minutes he came out again, sat down with a notebook and said: “We need a housework schedule”

And I laughed. What a start.