This is something that’s been bugging me a lot recently, due to things surfacing in life and remembering a lot of events I’ve been recovering from over the past year. 20 years of events and emotions and feelings that I’ve only had a year so far to heal from. It’s about emotional abuse/manipulation so I apologize if it’s a little too real on the blog ^^)”.
I really dislike the trope of “extreme hardass who’s mean to you to an abusive point but at the end of the day you know they care deep down and love them for it” :/.
Instead of being cute it’s encouraging this attitude of you have to accept someone for what they mean, not how they say or present themselves. Which...is inherently a great idea. If we could all just read each other’s minds and KNOW, we’d be a better society (maybe).
I’m not talking about “ah, i dislike that this person swears a lot” as a justification to hate someone. I mean...being told you’re just “misunderstanding” when another human being is, possibly unknowingly, violent/abusive towards you.
It’s saying my mother was right to parent her children the way she did....because she meant well right? You just...handled her love wrong!
Don’t think you need to forgive or accept people or ever allow someone control over you because “they mean well”. If their actions and words make you uncomfortable, upset, etc. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY for separating yourself.
Do not feel guilty for being honest with your emotions, it is a two way street and if you want to accept someone for who they are, they need to be capable of the same. Your feelings are valid just as much as theirs.