#rath feels

[navigatorsghost]

Tag game: post four pictures on your phone that aren't selfies! I was tagged by @kalira sooo here we go...

Top left: A broken railing in my hometown that someone "fixed" with a strand of gold garland. I just thought it was adorable.

Top right: A WIP shot of my macrame/tatting inspired upcyling project that involves covering an old clothes drying rack in yarn. I swear it'll make sense when I'm finished, honest.

Bottom left: A strangely upsetting sheep decoration I saw in someone's garden the other day. It has the face of a traumatised Cyberman and filled me with a mixture of horror and pity. I hope this poor creature is okay.

Bottom right: A photo of a painting at my parents' house, a simple landscape with trees and water and a path between them vanishing around a bend. I love this painting so much. I've stared wistfully at it so many times since I was a literal child that I kinda imagine when I die, the path to the afterlife will manifest for me as That Specific Path.

Tagging, uh... @shinyportalsandthings, @herrshepard, @koilungfish if you feel like it and have taken any photos lately, @stuffedcaitsith and anyone else if you want to!

[navigatorsghost]

I don't know if anyone will pay this post any mind, and it's okay if you don't, it really is. I know most of the people who follow me on here don't know me in real life, or really as anything other than a series of reblogs of dogs and scenery and random musings plus occasional fandom thoughts and fic. I know I'm nobody special. But I'm alone and I can't sleep and I have to go to the clinic tomorrow for I don't even know how many tests because my GP thinks I might have breast cancer and I'm really scared I actually do, and I'm so very tired tonight of being eternally afraid to be a burden, afraid to be a problem. Afraid to ask the world for kindness.

Friend or stranger, if you read this and anything I've said or done has ever made you smile or touched your heart at all, please say a prayer for me if you have one to spare. I don't ask for anything else. Just please, if you think I deserve to live a little longer, if you would miss me if I was gone, please just... mention that to the universe on my behalf, I guess?

Thank you. 🖤

[navigatorsghost]

I'm sure this is terminally unfashionable of me but I absolutely yearn for a society that has space in it for sanctity.

I don't mean the Christian conception of sanctity, nothing with that level of structure and rules and ideological demands. I just mean I want there to be places that are beautiful for the sake of it and where everyone knows that you're supposed to be quiet and respectful, and you're allowed to just sit or kneel and exist without anyone asking your business or trying to sell you something. Places that are meant for safely experiencing such uncool but deeply meaningful things as reverence and humility and quiet reflection. Places with no admission fee or gates or access controls of any kind, but paid for by the public budget for everyone's benefit, and protected by the strongest of social taboos against disruption or violence within their bounds.

Basically I think I just want little public meditation gardens and shrines to nothing in particular, but for people to treat those spaces like they're actually sacred and important.

[navigatorsghost]

I love ASP (and Asp himself) and I hadn't seen this video before but now I'm having feelings about it. 10/10 would follow this man unconditionally if he dragged me out of my grave in the dead of night. 🖤

[navigatorsghost]

In eternally loving memory of Little Car, 2005 Ford KA mk1; mine for just over a decade, sold to the breakers on May 2nd 2025 due to an untreatably severe case of terminal corrosion. Faithful friend, roadtrip companion, undefeated in snow, rain, and dirt roads, and could carry way more cargo than should've been mathematically possible. Never was more loyalty or determination packed into a 1.3-litre inline-four heart. Thank you for everything, LC.

[navigatorsghost]

Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of things I usually like about being autistic and I definitely wouldn't be me without it, but... one of the things that makes me sad about it, sometimes, is when it means I have to push people away who genuinely mean me no harm. It really does hurt when someone I love reaches out wanting to talk to me, do something with me, ask me to be in their life today; and through absolutely no fault of anything other than my brain's weird neurodivergent limits, I have to say "no, sorry, can't."

I hate having to tell people who genuinely appreciate me and value me that I'm sorry, I can't, you can't, we can't. No, it's nothing you did, no, it's nothing I need help with, it's just that today I don't have enough of me to go around.

[navigatorsghost]

I don't want to put him in situations and make him suffer I want to put him in bed and make him comfy.

[leaddyborn]

Ok but imagine:

-Rath setting out to put his vow on a new focus; protecting Solus and his fellow battleborn

-With the death of Lenore and Rendain’s rise the last thing he needs is to feel lost so he puts his attention fully towards his teammates and concentrates on soaking up damage and dealing with immediate danger so they don’t get hurt as much as he does

-Having been with the Keepers, remains loyal and passionate about his job; the other Keepers of the Blade were his friends, mutually and professionally, and having spent [almost] thousands of years with them [and having to KILL THEM] he dedicates his Keeper’s vow unto respecting, helping and staying loyal to the Battleborn-- his new family-- despite any quarrels with any of them he may have

-Putting grudges aside in battle and tapping into 110% Keeper Mode to guard his new family and their home, Solus, often risking his life because he knows cooperation and unison between factions was what Lenore wanted

-Every action driven by Lenore’s spiritual approval to try and make up for his manipulation during Rendain’s coup and guilt that keeps him up at night

-Who cares about redemption; fight, fight, and keep fighting. Live together, or die alone

-after rendain’s banishment, having to desperately go out on missions and always be fighting; otherwise he feels broken, like a huge gap in him is yet to be filled

-maybe he’ll never feel right again after the death of the empress, but that’s okay

-whatever drives him to keep fighting long after many of the battleborn have died