Ryland had followed the instructions and gone to take a shower. It had been well bigger than any shower he had used in his life, and when he turned the knobs hot water had shot out. He panicked, shutting the whole thing off, looking at the door with heart racing like he expected someone to storm in and punish him. It had been so much water, and hot. There wasn't a lot of people allowed hot water on Eden and - He wasn't on Eden.
He was never told hardly anything growing up of Mars, and even less of Earth, His typical general education had lacked as his guardian had focused entirely on teaching him only what he needed to know to do what he did. It was only well later into life, after having met Simon, that he had realized there was a lot he had missed. Like a lot. Simon had ended up, after a lot of fighting and insecurity, teaching him whatever he could think of from his own schooling growing up when Grace had finally gotten over himself and let Simon help.
He wasn't sure if warm water was a luxury here or not, but if he was going to be kept prisoner again even on earth he was going to be careful. Taking off his clothes he went to walk into the shower when he saw himself in a floor length mirror. Tossing his clothes in he went to investigate himself, getting quite close to see. He was disgustingly dirty, dried blood in numerous places, wounds bruises and scars both fresh and old littering all over his body. Sure, Eden was a little grungy, but they could keep fairly clean. Ryland was always on the low end of that, focusing more on his work than taking care of himself, but he was never in his life this bad. Now that he had realized, and he wasn't so on edge, his skin began to crawl again with the need to be clean. And then, still looking in the mirror his skin began to crawl for another reason.
"Look at yourself."
He practically threw himself into the shower, throwing it on again and ignoring the fact that this time it was freezing, this temperature he was more used to. It was enough of a shock to his system to drown out the memory of standing in front of a mirror as a kid. He wasn't sure what all of the bottles and strange items were for and he wasn't going to bother finding out, seeing a bar of soap he quietly lamented as usual about how it'll leave his hands feeling off and got to scrubbing.
He'd cleaned himself, doing his best with his hair, but it was longer than he was used to and getting severely tangled, so he had rinsed it as much as he could and moved on. Then he scrubbed down the jumpsuit, finishing rinsing everything and wrung it out enough to where it dripped minimally. Holding his damp outfit to his front he made a tense bee-line out and to his room.
Safely situated with a door between him and anyone else he relaxed slightly. Then he noticed things had changed while he was away. He wanted to be upset but this wasn't his space, or even his things, he had no claim to be upset over. The dirty sheets had been removed and new ones were fit onto the bed, pillows switched out, and a pair of glasses sat on one of them. Tossing the wet jumpsuit over the bar in the closet, he quickly threw on the clothes on the bedside table and gently picked up the glasses. Reverently he opened and slowly put them to his face. They were ... Well he was nearsighted and didn't have anything far enough away to look at to know if they had helped. There was an opaque window letting some light in but he wasn't sure if it would open and even if it did he was not going to risk Court getting upset with him. The man may have let him use the bathroom, but he still had a gun and they had some tentative understanding but Ryland was not pushing it.
He closed the precious glasses and considered where best to keep them, eventually settling that on his person was best, and he hooked them into the collar of his shirt under the sweater. He hoped the clean soft fabric on both sides would protect them.
And now there was nothing to do. He looked around the sparse room. Four walls, bed, empty bedside table, windows he wasn't touching, and a closet he had already seen had nothing in it. He was left to his devices yet again. Fuck he hated this, having fuck all to work on. When he was being held captive on COI there was nothing to do for days on end but exercise, consume what was given to him, scream on occasion, and when he was pretty sure no one was coming around any time soon he'd let himself wallow in pity if he could manage it. Some of those ideas were off the table as he knew he could hear through the walls here better than he could in his cells.
Glancing at the door he realizes he could leave the room again and maybe explore the house, but beyond the door being unlocked he hadn't been given permission. Maybe he didn't need permission here? Maybe the door being unlocked was permission? Maybe he needed to stop thinking the word permission to himself, it was quickly annoying. Still he hadn't been given it.
He wanted to try anyway, even as ice began to seep into his veins.
He stood and haltingly walked over to the door, but standing right in front of it he couldn't bring himself to even reach for it, hands frozen. Yes he would get bored in here, and yes he wanted nothing more than to spite his teachings and start doing whatever the fuck he wanted, but the fear that seized him any time he wanted to defy his superiors was stronger than ever in this moment. This dread had been building, he realizes, since he first thought of running while in the garage, and had been compounding since. He hated himself for it. He had been such an issue when he was younger and into adulthood, and then they had backed him into a corner and forced him to behave and now that fear had him in a chokehold.
He was being pathetic, hands shaking at his side, staring at the doorhandle like it was Olympus Mons. He was paralyzed. He had been full of adrenaline and panic and fear when he bit, when he ran, and even when he had woken up from being knocked out yet again. He knew it was because he had thought at first they were COI and Court a traitor, so Edens enforcement didn't extend to them, and yet here he was unable to do anything. They aren't Eden, why can't he do anything!
A swift knock at the door had startled him and he practically threw himself across the room from it. He scrabbled to the bed and sat, on it, making himself look like he wasn't half a second from freaking out. Steeling his face he called out "Yes?"
Colt opened the door, eyes locking on Ryland and then gave him a once over, "Sorry. Court wants to have a talk if you think you're ready." Both of them were being stoic, and both of them could tell. After a moments silence he spoke again, "So, are you ready?"
"May I have a moment?"
"Sure, I'll wait down the hall."
Colt closed the door and after a moment Ryland slipped off the floor. Collapsing to his knees, arms holding him up, he started panting. "Fuck" His heart was racing, his arms shaking, his eyes hot, his lungs heaving. He'd almost been caught, his mind had supplied. He didn't have time, They wanted to talk, and he couldn't leave them waiting. He hunkered down and stopped breathing, forcing his heart rate to slow in the fastest way he could.
_________
Colt, with Ryland close behind, now freshly cleaned and with some of Rylands old clothes Colt had refused to throw out, came into the dining room where Court had waited for them. He sat on one side, Colt walking past him into the kitchen, waving at Ry to sit opposite them. he obediently did. Something new was off with the other but he hid it well and Court couldn't get a read on it.
"Hey Ryland." The other simply nodded at him. "We wanted to talk about Everything that has happened and Maybe delve into our different universes, see what we can gleam from each other, and talk about what we can all do going foreword. Is that okay?" Ry gave a curt nod, saying nothing else, though Court doubted he wanted to talk. "You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to but I figure both sides here are reasonably curious about the other. We could ask questions back and forth or you could tell us about your world or what you went through and we can answer questions about ours, Or something else, whatever you're comfortable with."
Ry shifted minutely, glancing over his shoulder. "Sure. Ask away. I won't promise anything." Court was reminded of someone under interrogation, scared of their own shadow, but holding out. This is not what Court wanted. He did not want his little bro- Ryland to feel like he was interrogating him.
"This isn't, Ry this is a two way street. I'm not hounding you for information, especially if you don't want me to. You looked like you'd been through the ringer, and quite honestly you may not be my brother but I am worried about you. We will go at your pace here." Ryland had scoffed and turned away from him. "What?"
"Such a novel idea, an interrogator going at your pace."
"I am not your interrogator." Court sighed, "If you feel like I am I am sorry. I did not intend to give that impression. I-"
Colt reappeared, three trays in hand, cutting off Court, "With your demeanor any time you ask a question it feels like an interrogation. You're so severe." He dropped off some microwave trays in front of each of them. "Sorry, I'm not fucking cooking right now. Too damn early. Here's the worlds shittiest breakfast."
The trays had two slabs of Salisbury steak, paired with mashed potatoes and gravy and some vegetables. "Damn. I was kind of hoping you'd cook." He still dug in, speaking between bites, "Me and Clair can't cook a grilled cheese between us. She's spoiled and I've either been provided for or scrounged since jail. Sure I could hire someone but she's still not comfortable if it's not me you or Jody."
"You cooked for us when we were kids?"
"Yeah, the saddest and most pathetic meals ever. Mostly canned shit or sandwiches, both cold. Not exactly the meals of champions. It's a wonder I didn't kill you with malnutrition." He smiled easily. It had been nice reconnecting with Colt, and over time they'd been able to joke about their shared shitty childhood without guilt.
They conversed easily, eating and ribbing each other, talking about Jody and Clair and work. Court had intentionally been giving Ryland space, not looking at him and instead between Colt and his meal. Halfway through though he did check in on the other man, and noticed he hadn't touched his food, and was instead observing them dutifully. Noticing he was being watched, Ryland looked back down to his meal, and scowled at it.
Oh. He'd seen this before, he'd done this before. He wasn't trusted and something had happened to him to make him distrust this food given to him in this setting. Turning back to Colt, and continuing to talk about nothing, he tried to casually slide Rylands plate over to himself, getting only a quizzical look from Colt, though he also continued like nothing was happening.
Court cut off a small bit from each of the steaks, scooped a small amount of potatoes onto the two pieces and ate them, following it up with a couple of the peas. He hated peas but he'd live. He slid it back over to Ryland, and stood, still continuing their conversation about Colts newest movie. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed three glasses, filling them with water from the fridge and returned, taking a sip from one of the glasses and handing the same one over to Ry. "You always forget water with meals."
Colt visibly didn't understand, but glancing over Ryland had indeed started to eat. As a matter of fact he inhaled his food. He was surprisingly quiet for how fast he was eating. He looked away, pulling Colts attention back to him. "Hey, Jody and I keep hydrated all day, and don't need extra water at dinner. Not my fault you guys don't care about your health enough." He ribbed Court.
"me mee me" Court mocked him lightly, earning another ribbing. "I stay pretty healthy, have to."
"You literally just admitted you don't cook at all. Like ten minuets ago."
"Shut it or-"
Ryland interrupted them, startling Colt "Can I ask a question?" When he received a nod he asked, "What was this?"
Colt was startled initially when the other had spoke, Court had been waiting for the other to speak up, maybe just not quite what he had expected to be said. "What?"
"It's Salisbury steak. It's not great, I can make way better, but it's been a long night. Also you don't have to ask to ask a question, just ask your question." Colt answered before Ry could repeat himself.
"What's it made of?"
"Uh, beef, or mystery meat more likely." Court decided Colt was right, he was probably too intense to be asking Ryland, who was skeptical of him at best, anything, instead letting Colt take the lead, staying quiet as he slowly finished his own meal.
Ry nodded in grim understanding. "Doesn't taste like it though. And the water? Why does it taste like that?"
"Ry," He and Colt shared a look, "It's nothing special, does it taste off? What are they supposed to taste like?"
"If you're going to question me do it properly."
"Ry, you asked us a question. I'm asking one back because I'm confused. There isn't a proper way to do this, were just having a conversation." Colt picked up his empty tray, grabbing Court and Rylands trays as well, and headed into the kitchen raising his voice as he got farther, "If having a conversation is going to be an issue I'll just go to sleep. What's it gonna be Ry?"
Court and Ryland shared an intense look. "I don't know what fresh hell you went through, but we just want to help, and we want to understand each other. That's it."
Ryland sighed, looking so tired. "I... How can I... I don't trust you. I don't trust this. I'm a prisoner still, just a much nicer cell with insanely good food." Colt scoffed, returning to stand behind Court, an arm on the back of his chair, but let Ry continue. "How do I know you are any better than them? That you aren't pretending to be." Ryland looked sad, and then it gave way to anger as he stood up from the table. "I have been being tortured for information for months. How am I supposed to believe that's just over? I saw the stars and the trees, but what if... god what if I've just cracked? I'm just going insane and stuck in my head imagining some utter bullshit to escape that damned room-" He picked up the glass on the table, gripping it and making as if to throw it, but then he stiffened, and gently placed it back down.
"Throw it." Court said
"What?" Ry whipped his head around to look at the older man.
"You fucking heard me."
"Actually maybe lets not break Jody's favorite glasses?" Colt grabbed it off the table quickly, as well as the other two, and jogged into the kitchen yet again, coming back quickly with an armload of plates. "These though, go ahead. We got them at Ikea." He laid down maybe 20 plates on the table. "There's more. We bought a lot."
"Throw them." Court reiterated, also getting up. "You throw them and see there's no punishment. Throw Them."
Grace, seemingly at war with himself, hesitantly picked up a plate and looked at it, running a finger down the porcelain. "These are too nice. I can't." He looked up to Court and Colt.
"How else will you know?" Court grabbed one. "I lost my childhood. And the one of the ones I lost it for I won't ever see again." He hurled the plate at the dining room wall. It shattered on impact with the wall, sending shards all over the place. "Fuck."
Ryland stared at the mess, looking back at Court with a worried expression, Court realizing the worry was for him, eyes darting around like he expected someone would come in and hurt them. "No ones coming. Colt isn't upset and these are his. No punishment. Get angry."
____
Ryland stared at the plate in his hand. He'd wanted so badly to throw that damned glass, but the fear had gripped him again, forcing him to put it down. It was still there as he looked at the plate. He'd been told to do it, several times, but this was just something you don't do. Permission warred with teaching. Court had done it though, and nothing had happened.
He had been interrogated for months. He had been hurt by so many. He hadn't endured for Eden. He endured because he couldn't do anything else. If he had wanted to say anything his throat had closed the instant the idea entered his head. Eden would've loved to know they had broke him so well. The Father would've loved to know his pet was so unwillingly loyal.
And that was what got him. The Father. All he had done personally to him. The thought that that he might never fucking see him again and yet he was still so securely under his thumb. His skin crawled thinking about the man, he shook violently, and
He threw the fucking plate, hurled it at the wall harder than Court had, reveling in the sound and sight of it shattering against the wall.
He was panting, face contorted into anger. "FUCK YOU" His lungs tried seizing as he said it but he got it out anyway. He couldn't help shrinking in on himself, facing the other two, looking for any sign he was about to be punished.
"There you go." Court said as Colt reached for a plate himself.
"I should've answered that damn call." Colt threw his plate. Ryland flinched when it hit the wall but it relieved some of the anxiety sitting in his throat. "I've got an idea."
Court and Colt started moving the chairs away from the table, Ryland quickly following suit, though still keeping a healthy distance from either of them. Once the chairs were out of the way Court and Ry moved the table to be parallel with the wall they were throwing the plates at while Colt ran and got more dishes he and Jody had stocked up on from Ikea.
They had dishes of all kinds on the table and spread out. All of them were on one side of the table now, with Colt and Court on the left, and Ry on the opposite end. Colt laughed, "Were making a real thing of this. Jody's gonna be so mad we have to go back to Ikea, she hated it." He noticed Ryland getting nervous at his statement, "No, it's okay. She won't actually be mad. Hell, I'll go later today. It's okay."
Colt started it back up first this time. "I uh, got most of my anger about this situation figured out. Therapy," He gave Court a pointed look, "And venting to Eva about it until we were chill. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. This isn't your fault Ry, but for half a fucking minuet I had hope. I thought I had my fucking twin-brother back." *Smash*
Court picked one up. "I compartmentalized. I've mostly come to terms with the fact there wasn't a lot I could've done. Mostly what I'm mad about is that I didn't try to reconnect until after I'd lost my fucking brother for good." *smash*
Ryland hesitated, plate in hand. His anger and fear had died down in the time it took to set this up. It didn't take long to flare up again. "I hate-" he choked on the words, that lump rising in his throat. The frustration made tears burn at his eyes.
"You got this." Colt encouraged him.
"I-I hate E-" he coughed. "I hate E-Eden" I was barely a whisper, and he wasn't sure the others could hear him.
"Louder." Court interjected before he could throw the plate after the lame attempt.
"I h-hate Eden." He shook, hating how pathetic he was.
"Louder."
"I hate Eden." Ryland actually managed to say it one go, but it was still quiet, and frustration shot through him knowing what Court was going to say next.
"Louder." Ryland knew he had little patience and if he said 'Louder' one more time he was going to fucking lose it.
"I hate Eden!" It was a speaking voice and he already knew it wasn't enough.
"Loude-"
"I FUCKING HATE EDEN" He screamed. Was that fucking Loud enough for him. "I HATE EDEN." He hurled the plate and a pleasant mix of dread and elation buzzing through his veins as it broke against the wall.
"Yehehes!" Colt laughed, grabbing another plate. "I hate Tom Ryder! Fucker!" *Smash*
Court next. "I hate our dad." *Smash*
"I hate the-" He wanted to say 'The Father, but his throat seized in a way he knew he couldn't get past just yet, so he changed course. "I hate the COI." *Smash*
"I wish I still hated Eva." *Smash*
"I hate that I used to wish none of us were born." *smash*
"The Quiet Rapture should've taken everyone." *Smash*
"I am so worried about becoming my father I refuse to have kids." *Smash*
"Clair deserves a real life and I can't give her one." *smash*
This continued for quite a while, a huge pile of ceramic debris littered. Colt and Court both were feeling cathartic, but could tell Ryland was still working up to something, and towards the end were simply throwing plates as Ryland vented. Court had thrown one last one for himself, lamenting internally that he hated how he kind of liked his job, like a fucked up Stockholm syndrome for shitty morally-dubious work, when Colt nudged him and pointed at Ryland.
Ry was shaking violently again, having stopped relatively early in when his body finally accepted nothing was going to happen. "I ... I was tortured for months. I had been told by so many to 'stop being brave' and told 'You're no hero' because I wouldn't talk. I wasn't brave. I wasn't being a hero. I was so scared. I hated Eden, and I would've told the COI anything they wanted, what would it have mattered to me. I was a coward." It was said with such vehemence, revulsion dripping in his voice. "I was a coward but I couldn't say anything, I couldn't even fucking scream when they hurt me." White hot tears began streaming down his face. "All because of him. All because of what The Father did to me. I hate him. I Hate Him. I Hate Him! I HATE HIM." He threw the plate straight down at his own bare feet. He felt some small cuts but they were inconsequential. "I hate what he did to me." He threw another one down.
"Ry wait, don't hurt yourself."
"I hate I was so important they wouldn't just kill me. They had to correct my behavior instead of just getting rid of the problem."
*smash*
This time Ryland grabbed the stack of plates that was left and raised it over his head. "I hate that they handed me over to The Father to do with as he pleased. TO FIX ME."
He went to throw the handful down. but was intercepted midway, one set of hands grabbing the stack of plates before he could let them go to inevitably fuck his feet up, and another set wrapping around his chest and lifting him out of the rubble. "Woah there, I think were done." Colt had grabbed the plates and set them back down.
Ryland was flailing as "I HATE HIM" Court dragged him, literally kicking and screaming, away from the mess and into the kitchen. This time however he was not aiming for Colt or Court, perhaps even careful not to. "I HATE HIM." Fresh hot angry tears were running down his face. The "I HATE HIM"s interspersed with incoherent mournful yells. The sounds were heartbreaking to the others ears.
"Get it out." Court continued to hold Ryland, careful as he slid down the wall to put them in a sitting position. Colt came close behind and sat next to Ryland where he could see him. He yelled until his voice was hoarse. Flailed until his limbs were exhausted, which is when Court had let him go and instead began to run his hands through Ry's hair, humming in an effort to soothe the other. Grace hadn't moved, choosing to lean back and remain against Courts chest, shaking more from exhaustion now than anger or fear. At some point Colt had slid his hand into Rylands, holding it tight and rubbing his thumb along the others knuckles.
"I hate him." his voice was rough and weak.
"Obviously." Colt huffed. "I don't know who The Father is, capital T capital F, but fuck that guy."
"Agreed."
Ryland could feel the hum of the others voice through his chest and felt his eyes getting heavy. "Sorry."
"Don't you apologize, there's nothing to be sorry for. But I think it's time for bed for all of us. It's been a night." Colt got to his feet, pulling Ryland up with him, Court rising shortly after them. Slowly they made their way to Rylands room, Ryland stumbling more than once in his drowsiness. When they got him to his bed, Colt quickly brushed his feet off, making sure there weren't any leftover shards, thankfully the small cuts he got were superficial and hadn't really bled, both of them wished him a good night and left, turning the light on.
The moment Rylands head hit the pillow he was out for the count.
_______
I needed a breakthrough moment with Ry for him to even start opening up, and It felt downright wrong to segment it into two posts, so here is a really long one. This is also a little bit of a vent for myself and my wife. Giving my favorite characters my trauma, #1 pastime of writers.
Also I love writing off dome, cause I did not go into this thinking they were going to end up in a rage room therapy session.
Ryland knew they hadn't killed him when he felt the throb in the back of his head while waking up. What the fuck did they need him for so badly that they kept his ass alive even after he'd bitten the absolute shit out of that one with the gun. The theoretically really important to Eden guy who was wherever the hell they were with... Stars and trees?
While laying, pretending to still be asleep, he went over the best theory he could think of. Another station or colony had managed to survive but had kept its distance from COI and Eden. Reasonably as both of them were shit shows. Neither group knew about them but they knew about the two warring factions. They had spies at least in Eden, and Gun-Ryland was one of them. This new colony was obsessed with old earth and large enough to simulate it to a disturbing degree.
Great. Space hippies.
And they had access to possibly real trees, and a dome that could project fake stars. Eden would have a field day here, but if Eden could be denied this he would be content. They would ruin it, whatever it is, even if it is a fallacy.
Snippets of a conversation started to reach Rylands ears, getting closer. "-has to be- alone? Is that really- God he fought like when we were kids. All teeth and pent up anger." The conversation hushed as footsteps approached the door. Not that they had been saying anything important before.
The door opened slowly, Ryland could hear two sets of cautious footsteps enter, one coming closer to the bedside than the other. They let out a breath and whispered to the other, "He's asleep." Something was placed next to the bed.
"How fucking hard did you hit him Court? And how can you be sure?" The one closer to the door was a shitty whisperer but gave him something important. The not-Eden gun-Ryland is called Court.
"Just hard enough to knock him out, and I know Colt, I've always been able to tell if you two were actually asleep or not." The other ones name is Colt and Court seems to think he's watched Ryland sleep before. Horrific notion if he wasn't sure he was an incredibly light sleeper. Had to be. He could be being mistaken for someone else, I mean there were three people in this room who all looked alike, it wasn't off the table for there to be more hiding away somewhere.
"He might've been pretending to sleep in the garage!" Colt whispered angerly. Shit he had some sense.
There was silence before Court whispered "Fuck" He stepped back from the bed before speaking slightly louder than normal volume "Ryland." Colt was now Rylands arch Enemy.
It would be a futile attempt at this point to pretend so he sat up and looked at them. "What do you want?"
Court was looking at him curious and stern. Colt looked angry and sad.
They all stared at each other for a few minuets. Ryland was about to lay back down to make a point when Colt asked, "What happened to you?"
It was his turn to be confused. "The fuck do you mean, 'What happened?' You knocked me out and dragged me here."
Both of their eyes widened and they shared a look. "Well uh- Grace what happened after you left? How are you here?"
Grace? was that a prayer? "I just told you, I ran, you pursued. Or did someone else follow me and knock me out?" He knew he was getting frustrated and raising his voice. He knew it had gotten him in a lot of trouble in the past, leniency of him being one of few scientists aside. He dug his nails into his palms to ground himself. "If you mean how I got here in general I would have to assume that a man and woman fucked and I popped out."
_____
There was no way this was their brother. But he had to be. Besides a little added scruff, more than normally unusual clothes, and being dirty and unkempt that was Colts twin. His brother was back but he shouldn't be, and he was acting like a wild fucking animal. Grace never cursed, not much as a child, and especially not after he became a teacher.
Worst of all Grace didn't recognize him or Court. Court He would maybe understand, he had only reconnected with Colt after Ry had been shot into space, the last time either of them had seen him being when they were kids. But Colt. They were twins. Had been inseparable even after they were adopted by their Uncle, and well into adulthood. Even through Colts accident Ryland was the only one who wouldn't let him push them away.
"For sake of being specific," Court put emphasis on specific, "We mean after Ava forced you onto the Hail Mary? Or do you not remember and the amnesiac she gave you hasn't worn off?" Colt could only hope that was the case.
"I don't have amnesia." Was the only response they got.
"Then do you know who we are?"
Grace squinted at Court. "Turn around."
Court raised an eyebrow at him. Colt didn't begrudge him this, Grace had only an hour or so earlier bit the ever-loving shit out of him. He glanced at Colt as if to say 'watch my back' and obliged. He only stayed turned for a few moments, facing Ryland again quickly. Colt didn't like that it was like Court was on alert because of their brother.
Grace hummed and stared off into the distance in thought. His concentration was broken by Court. "I showed you mine, you show me yours?" Ry immediately bristled, baring his teeth, and hunching down. "No. It's only fair. You turn around." Courts voice reminded Colt of when he was being a parent to his brothers and had to be strict for their own good. When Grace made no move to comply Court shrugged. "Or if you prefer I can come over there and look for myself. Your choice." Colt shivered. Sure he was an adult but Court had raised him and he was damn well conditioned.
"Court." Colt tried to interject, calm the situation. Something was obviously wrong and Court agitating The other wouldn't help.
But it worked. Ryland, still tense, turned his head and upper body as far as he could without getting up, and pulled his longer than normal hair up off the back of his neck. Court sucked in a breath and Colts hands started shaking with rage.
There was a painful looking brand on the back of Rylands neck. It was simple but brutal, and it made a point. It marked property.
_____
Twin beef even through alternate dimensions lets go.
I've got a few ideas for BloodyMary and for rn i think I'm going to stick with just this fandom, and maybe expand to others later on if there's any interest. Here's the Aus and feel free to ask questions or suggest scenarios to put these sad men in.
Reverse Bloodymary ColtlandGentry Au (RBCGAU)
A very scared and confused and hostile Ryland finds himself thrown at the mercy of his next set of interrogators. Except they both look waaaaay too much like him, sound like him, and for a minuet they act far too familiar with him. What kind of new age bullshit torture method is this? The COI did not have nearly enough resources to pull some psychological shit like this. Or... or did they? Either way, he's not saying shit.
Not-So-Meet-Cute (NSMCAU)
A fairly typical au, Simon arrives on the Hail Mary shortly before they meet Rocky. Grace now has to try juggling befriending an alien who shares no language with him, getting Simon to open up or at least stop being actively avoidant, deal with his memory issues, all on top of trying to save the stars. It's not an ideal situation and its not like he didn't already have enough on his plate, but hey, he's happy for the company, even if he is struggling. Oh, and Simon sometimes hears voices in his head, and they only agree on one thing.
It's Raining Bloody Men (IRBMAU)
I'll be considering this the companion to the ColtlandGentry reverse au (Ryland and Simon might not be able to have each other in their own universes but something out there (me) decides they might still be able to get their happy ending), Simon drops in (literally) on one of Graces classes, falling into the biodomes ocean. Oddly enough this stranger seems familiar, but he that's not important. Graces stable life on Erid just got a lot more interesting.
PS: Ryland is going to be showing some Autistic tendencies in each of these AU's, some more than others cause the environment breeds different masks/coping mechanisms. I will be throwing my own flavors of Autism in every now and then.
PPS: Fair warning on IRBMAU I saw art of Ryland wearing Erid clothing and jewelry (Cant find the exact one but blipity.blopity on insta has some great art of it) and it made me think about how maybe he just says "Fuck it, I'm not seeing another human again I might as well do away with a lot of human hang-ups." Also he's autistic so like, Erid silk is really nice sensory wise so why not go native and wear a skirt or some shit, who cares. And now, after years of thriving without a mask in a culture that genuinely doesn't care there's another human and he has to try masking again, with varied results.
Ryland has been thrown from room to room, interrogator to interrogator for so long now he's not even certain if he is still on Ceres station anymore. He thinks there was a transfer at some point but they've kept him unconscious for most of it. He's also pretty sure the repeated "knock him out" orders to transport him is not helping his internal compass. At the same time if he was thinking so clearly about the side effects of repeated hypoxia on short term memory he's probably not too bad off. Right?
His latest 'meeting' had resulted in yet another interrogation, and funnily enough, his least favorite of all the methods. Sensory-Deprivation followed by sensory-overload, followed by more sensory-deprivation and so on and so-fucking-forth. It drove him mad. He could deal with the torture, really he could, and he had no intentions of saying shit, but fuck he wished they weren't so creative. Eventually they had to get tired of him and just put him to work or kill him. Right?
God he hoped one of them happened soon. Maybe they would kill him and he'd join the one person who'd made Eden tolerable.
Fuck he missed him.
He had woken up not too long ago, maybe 15 minuets. As standard he'd been thrown haphazardly into his holding cell, vaguely familiar concrete under his cheek, and nothing to do but wait for a ration they'd give him. One of these days he figures they'll stop feeding him. He hops its not today. His teeth were still ringing from the noise and his whole body felt like it wasn't his.
He could bite himself to calm his teeth and work out to settle his skin as he usually does but he has to wait. He'll wait for them to throw in the ration and then he would get up. They usually don't pull anything if he's still unconscious, at least not the first day he's back in his cell.
It takes them a little longer than usual but eventually he hears steps and hushed voices, then the door is unlocked and it opens. Shit. Today is not his lucky day, just like the fucking rest. He almost wanted to scuttle away, press himself into a wall and protect his back, but there was still a chance. Slim but there.
Without stepping in one of them breathed out a confused "What?" before he heard steps rapidly approaching. "Dude holy shit." The man still at the door sounded uncomfortably familiar but he couldn't place it. "Is he dead?"
"No, they're breathing." The one over him spoke, a still familiar but deeper voice, "I don't understand how-"
Suddenly there was a hand on him, and he couldn't help his knee jerk reaction. He kicked out at them and threw himself back into the wall, except the wall was farther than he knew it to be and he ended skittering a fair distance until his back hit a table leg and ... table? fuck were they not taking breaks anymore? Had they just moved him from one interrogator to the next? They were going to kill him if they did. Fumbling on the table he grabbed whatever was close, shoving some smaller shit out of the way before finding something heavy enough to brandish.
"What the fuck!" The one who stood over him was on his feet in a flash and had stepped back, Ryland could barely see him or the figure in the doorway, both backlit. "Lights!" the deeper voice shot to his partner, who immediately flicked on the lights from the switch.
Thankfully he'd reacted quick enough to the shout to shield his eyes from the worst of it, and now he'd be able to see the COI bastards.
the... COI...
... was that him?
... was that him pointing a gun at him?
_____________
This is gonna be the sort of intro (besides the summary) for the RBCGAU. I shall also be posting the introductions to the other Aus.
If you have any suggestions or critiques, let me know, on this and future works.
Thanks for reading, have a good day.
edit: I took out Rylands last name cause I forgot I had the HC that people from Eden don't have last names since they're supposed to be one big family, so their last name is more of a title "of Eden" or "brother of Eden" type thing, probably dependent on how high you are in the hagiarchy.
There were two people standing in front of him, a few feet away. One standing in the doorway, hands hovering over the light switch, and the second only a foot in front of the other with a gun raised and pointed at Rylands chest. Both of them looked almost exactly like him except for small details.
Gun-Ryland was close but had different facial hair, along with shorter and slicked back professional looking hair. He also was maybe a little older than himself he noticed, as a memory tugged at him. He thought he'd seen him before in Eden but only in passing with a parade of other important people, and hadn't realized the resemblance at the time, but him being a higher up would also explain why he was allowed something so precious and scarce as a gun. He must be really important, and Ryland had just went and attacked him. Fuck.
Door-Ryland had slightly longer hair, still shorter than his own as he hadn't exactly had the ability to cut his hair recently, but was the same length and style he preferred to keep his own, same going for the facial hair he sported. Where gun-Ryland looked like maybe a slightly older version of himself, Door-Ryland was like looking in a fucking mirror. A mirror that gave him super loud colorful clothes he didn't think existed at the end of the universe, and made him cleaner than he thinks he'd ever been in his life. He didn't have glasses though, not that Ryland did either, they'd been confiscated long ago.
If this was Eden and they had retrieved him... no. Eden didn't care enough about him to collect him. He'd been caught and they had no way of knowing if he had talked, they'd kill him on sight for that alone. Was this some sort of new psychological thing? There was no way the COI had this kind of technology, and no way they would waste it on him if they did. He was a scientist, not a damn soldier or disciple of Father.
Then Ice ran through his veins as his name was called.
"Ryland?" the broken noise ripped him from his thoughts, coming from further of the two, their hand raising slightly seemingly of his own accord.
The COI didn't know his name. They didn't care to. It had to be Eden, but it couldn't be Eden. Yet gun-Ryland was from there, and only someone from Eden would know his name, but no one would have ever cared enough about him for this. Maybe gun-man was a traitor, but It was very difficult as the higher ups were all zealots.
So then what was this?
"Ry-Ry?" The one with the gun lowered it slowly, putting his free hand out to the side like he was trying to placate the wild thing Ryland knew he probably looked like.
Following the downward movement he noticed the item he brandished in his hand was... a socket wrench? He did a quick glance around. Smallish four walled room. Lot of equipment on the walls next to and behind him. Super clean besides oil stains on the concrete. A set of large almost wall sized coiling doors. Then the most out of place things, two old world vehicles. None of which existed anymore. The stations weren't big enough and none had been present when The Quiet Rapture ripped everything from them.
Movement. He whipped his head back to the two, Gun had moved forward a single step, gun now in it's holster on his hip, and both hands out and the saddest look on his face. Was this guys eyes welling up? The one behind him was stuck in a look of shock. This was all wrong. Eden or not he needed to get out of here, at least if he was shot fleeing he'd just be dead.
He had noticed a larger window in his glance around, but he did have to get past the Eden gunman to get to it, and that was if it chose to cooperate and break. He tensed as the man took another step towards him. Too close. It had to be now.
Quick as a flash he chucked the wrench at the window which did indeed shatter. Immediately he tried to follow it, unfortunately the gunman was quicker and despite Rylands best attempt to dodge him he'd gotten a hold of him. Quickly, they wrapped their arms around his chest and waist in an awkward attempt to restrain and hold him from the side.
Ryland struggled and as the man lifted him and turned with the momentum he kicked out violently, hitting the light switch as he did, sending them into mostly darkness again. He heard shouts and as he tried swinging his head to headbutt the other he met shoulder. Good enough. He kicked again, hitting something else that started up a loud noise on the other side of the room and letting more light in. It must've been the door. Perfect. He opened his mouth, and using the momentum, swung his head down and bit as hard as he could the other mans shoulder. Thick, hot, disgusting blood flooded his mouth instantly, and for a relieved moment his teeth stopped itching.
With a scream he was dropped harshly. He heard the other stagger away from him and the man in the doorway screaming at them. He didn't care. Scrabbling to his feet he ran at the slowly opening door and ducked under it and fucking ran. One of them screamed his name again but he ignored it, running down the concrete and hooking left after a chain fence. He ignored everything, tunnel vision and adrenaline pushing him farther, faster. He needed to find somewhere to hide, or just outlast them.
He had only just started to look for a way to cut off their vision, other paths that might lead out of sight when he noticed everything around him was odd. He was going to ignore it, survival over confusion, when he past something on his right that caused him to hesitate and stumble hard to the ground. His hands and his knees burned but he needed to know if he was hallucinating, he needed to know if he was crazy, getting caught be damned.
He lifted his head, intending to turn around to look at the one he'd noticed first, but he didn't need to. There was a line of trees leading down the street. Trees? Were those trees? Real trees? Plural trees? "holy shit." He needed to touch them, he could tell if they were real if he touched them. Probably. As Ryland made to stand up he finally noticed something even more debilitatingly extraordinary.
He sat back onto his heels, staring straight up. Tears filled his eyes as he gazed up at a sky absolutely littered with stars. Just like the stories he was told of earth before The Quiet Rapture. There were houses all around him, not housing districts. There were trees all over the place like they didn't need to be religiously guarded for how fucking sacred they were. And most importantly the stars. Rylands guardian had a hand me down ancient star map from earth, and when he was a kid they had spent hours looking at it. He had memorized it, partially due to his near-perfect memory, but he had spent long hours studying it and being told so much about it. The same exact sky he had seen on the map loomed almost intimidatingly above him.
Fuck. Stars. Stars. And they were so beautiful.
He heard them running up behind him, footsteps gradually slowing before stopping completely. They were whispering to each other, but he didn't care. They were going to kill him, for sure, but Ryland found it would be fine. More than fine. He didn't care. Especially if his last moments were staring up at a stunning sky full of the stars that he never even considered he'd see until he was dead. And maybe he was already. That was fine. Whatever led to this was worth it.
Then his world went dark again.
____
To clarify, I know the Quiet Rapture occurred in Simons lifetime, meaning it would've happened in Rylands, but I've chosen to push that back to their parents generation. Fuck it, more trauma.
Sorry Court, you now have rabies lol. /joking
I swear this will be Bloodymary. Give Simon a little bit of time to get here. He should be on his way.
This part is going to be basically an info dump about what happened in the Rapture!verse to Ryland and his siblings that he will never find out, but you the viewer can!
Courtland was the first born to his parents, Damon and Holly. Damon had been a soldier and Holly was an engineer. Court, in any attempt to escape his father, had thrown himself into whatever work he could find once he was old enough to, mainly ending up working with the church and doing whatever odd job they needed of him. Over time he saw the church as his sanctuary and worked even harder to thank the place that gave him comfort and rising in the church's esteem. such a devout young soul.
Then his father is killed in a fight in one of the housing districts, with his mother about to give birth. His father being a Soldier Of Eden of high renown, had been given allowance to have more children. This allowance was not extended to Holly, and was lost the moment Damon died.
Two days later she gives birth to twins and succumbs to exhaustion, leaving Court suddenly alone with his newborn twin baby brothers (Colt is older by three minuets). He cannot keep them, he's already been told as much but god does he want to. He wants to protect them but he's just a kid himself and he has no leverage of any kind. Colt will be fine, he'll go to the armies nursery, but Ryland isn't the healthiest baby, he'd be granted burial. He goes to church before anyone can take them away, bringing them to his sanctuary.
The Father, yes THE Father, had taken notice of him prior, and just so happens to be in the church Court visits, and just so happens to know Courts predicament. He makes Court an offer. Court becomes his, unconditionally, he can't ever see his brothers again. He becomes The Fathers own pet project to do with as he pleases and in exchange he will find Ryland a home. Colt will still become a soldier, but Ryland would live, and he could watch over them from a distance. He doesn't want to give them up, loves them despite being hours old and screaming their heads off, seemingly at each other.
He agrees.
Court becomes the Fathers little project. Raises him hard, harder than before, but he takes it. He endures for his brothers, and eventually he's The Fathers perfect personal soldier. He does whatever he's told. He kills whoever needs killing. He watches his brothers from afar.
He watches through reports and occasional stalking his brothers grow up.
Colt grows up in the army. He's a perfect soldier. Aces anything put in front of him. Top of his class. A little hot headed and sometimes too eager, but he does Colt proud. He's patriotic and kind and meets a radio technician named Jody one day and settles down. She's good for him. They live fairly long, as long as one can in this place. They have two kids, and are fairly fulfilled.
Ryland has a much harder time. He's handed over to a scientist who was looking for an apprentice. She raises him, teaching him all she knows and he becomes one of their major researchers. He loves to learn and Court can see just how much he loves the things he learns. The problem is he sees through the system too easily and fairly young, leading to harsh treatment all around.
Don't get Court wrong, he can see it too, especially being this high up, but he has a job to do and promises to fulfill. But who can blame him if he takes a wrong turn one day and walks past Ryland once when he shouldn't have, He wanted to see his brother in person once. The reason he does what he does. He even pulled strings to get Ryland a friend, an engineer named Simon who works alongside him for a few years. His brother seemed a lot happier with Simon around, and if he ignored that there might've been more between them that's no ones business but his own.
Ryland may love what he does, but he hates who he's doing it for, and despite being very important, one of the smartest people on Eden, there's more than one occasion where Court has to pull strings to keep him alive. Ryland is important but that only goes so far without help, even after a sudden drastic change in attitude that kept him out of trouble he still had slip ups from time to time. One such occasion he has to put Ryland on a strike force to Filament Station. He's supposed to sabotage the reactor and get out. A quick job to amend for an offence.
But something happened (No peeks, this'll come later) and Ryland is either dead or one of the COI's prisoners. And Court can't get to him. For once Court cant do anything, can't fix anything, he's helpless in a way he hadn't been since the twins were born, since he had to hand them over.
I like to think he takes out this helplessness on The Father. Maybe he turns coat, or maybe he simply gets rid of The Father and someone else kinder fills the role. Either way, it's only after Ryland is captured by the COI and he takes out The Father that he learns of the horrors the man committed, and that's just what he did to his brother. He lives with regret for the rest of his life, and refuses to see Colt. He uses his pull to start going after COI, Finds out his brother died in prison and goes apeshit.
He goes after any guard logged to be in the prison at the time. Tried going after Ava but learned she was already dead. Starts going on more Ops against the COI, as well as sabotaging Eden from the inside Only stops his rampage when one of his coworkers dies and leaves behind a sick child and he has to pull his shit together and take care of her or she will be be granted burial as she is a sick kid. She reminds him of Ryland, who was whip smart. He vows she will not befall the same fate.
_________
So there's a lot likely not discussed, but if y'all have ideas or questions about something I didn't think to add, shoot an ask, you're more than welcome!
Court had immediately turned heel and stomped out of the room.
Colt had stood there, opening and closing his hands. He needed to hit something. Something horrific had happened to Ryland and he hadn't been able to save him from it. This was his fault. He hadn't picked up the phone when Ryland had called cause he was supposed to be dead. He had explained everything to his little brother already but he should've known when his twin called it had to be important. The voicemail still haunts him to this day. He didn't have the courage to delete it. He didn't deserve to delete it, he deserved to rot in guilt.
"Can you have a crisis elsewhere?" Rylands dry tone cut through Colts panic.
For a moment he was angry at Ry being a dick, but pushed that down, he didn't get to be angry. "Uh, yeah. You promise not to leave again?" Colt had inched towards the door.
Ryland scoffed. "I'm not promising fuck all."
Good enough. Giving him a pointed look, Colt slipped out, not bothering to lock the door like it had been when he saw Court had stationed himself just outside the door. They shared a quick look, he could tell the other was in Six mode right now, but he needed a damn minuet. He turned and walked away, headed for the home gym he had in the house he and Jody shared. She was currently out of town, making some big movie deal, and he had yet to tell her what happened, but planned to soon if Ryland continued to be a safety hazard.
He wasn't risking his little twin brother (and yes, he swears he's older) taking a chunk out of Jody. God forbid something even worse.
Reaching the gym he immediately started absolutely going to town on the punching bag. Colt had treated the wound on Courts shoulder. *BANG* Ryland had almost taken a full fucking chunk out of the guy. *BANG BANG* Ryland was supposed to be in space, and possibly dead. Yet here he is, *BANG* having gone through none of what he had seen in the tapes Stratt had sent him, his brother wasn't coming home. *BANG* Ryland couldn't be here. *BANG BANG* Ryland had appeared in his locked garage *BANG* that was not broken into. He had been branded *BANG* Fucking branded *BANG BANG* by god knows who.
Colt put his arms down. But this couldn't be Ryland. This couldn't be the one he let get taken. He'd seen the videos. This wasn't Ryland. It was, he responded to his name, but it wasn't. He took a weak swing at the bag, leaning foreword and resting his head on it. If he had come back Stratt would've picked him up. Wouldn't have let whatever happened to Ry happen. This wasn't Ryland. But it was? That was his twin, but-
Court walked in.
______
Ryland knew now what had happened. Court didn't have the Mark Of Eden on the back of his neck. In his short passing he knew he'd seen it, most people, but especially those closer to Father were eager and willing to be branded to remind them they were Edens. That they were the Fathers. You couldn't just remove a brand like that, Court had never had it in the first place.
He probably was their brother here, which makes him wonder if he had brothers back on Eden he didn't know of. Was the man he'd seen his brother? Had he had a twin he'd never seen? Eden didn't have a large population and everyone knew almost everyone, though Ryland had only seen Court once. Barely. With limited resources people really weren't allowed to have more than one kid, with very very few exceptions. Twins would've been a blessing and a curse. He'd seen excess kids taken from their parents and usually put into their army, or on multiple occasions if not healthy enough, fed to the tree.
If Court was his older brother it was a wonder he hadn't been given to the tree, not having had the best health as a kid. What of Colt too? Had he even been a twin? If so was Colt given to the tree? Put into the army's nursery?
He shook himself out of these thought. There was likely no way he'd ever get an answer now.
So what to do here?
He glanced down at the table by the bed, suddenly remembering Court had put something there. A soft bundle greeted him. Pulling it off the table, trying his best not to dirty the pristine cloth, he separated them and looked them over. They had given him underwear, jeans, a sweat shirt, and a shirt with something printed on it. Holding up the black shirt he involuntarily huffed in amusement. It had the periodic table with the title 'Can I lick it?' in bold above, and a color coded chart below indicating which you could and which would kill you. It was quite accurate aside from a few missing elements. Ryland almost despised that he'd found it humorous.
Shaking his head he put the shirt back down with the rest on the table. He stood, taking stock of himself. Prior to being captured by the COI he'd been wearing his Lab gear. The blue jumpsuit with extra pockets scattered about and sewn on, a longer thick jacket for safety with a shoddily sewn on patch indicating he was one of his team, a toolbelt that extended on one side down to clip just above the knee that housed a lot of the smaller equipment and safety gear he'd need, and of course shoes, almost all of which had been confiscated. He felt naked in just the worn jumpsuit.
The real problem was that he was dirty. He noticed the bed, blankets streaked with dirt. He was glad they hadn't touched him beyond moving him, and likely checking his pockets. He had two choices: Either find a way to clean himself up and wear the new clothes, or stay in the filthy jumpsuit. He was used to the filth sure, but if they were going to give him the option to be clean for once he'd damn well take it.
He was going to try for the door when Edens ingrained hospitality dragged him back to the state of the bed. As much as he despised anything and everything Eden had taught him, besides science, he loved science, he couldn't deny the guilt that tugged at him. He'd been treated well all things considering.
He heard Court, he knew it was Court as his footsteps never retreated from the door, enter the room as he was pulling the sheets off the bed. There was silence as he meticulously folded and placed the dirtied items next to the bed. His skin crawled leaving someone dangerous behind him for so long but he wasn't going to let the man think he was afraid of him.
Turning finally, when he was done, he met Courts eyes in challenge. "You making sure I'm not taking off again?"
Court nodded unashamedly. "Why would someone who's upbringing turned them into," He simply motioned at Ryland to get his point across, "Be unmaking their dirty bed? That's more polite than you've been."
Ryland had noticed the distinct military stance, hadn't thought anything of it until he realized the other wasn't from Eden or the COI. "Probably a similar enough upbringing to you." He knew he was pushing, Court knew he was too. Testing boundaries. "You accepted I'm not the same person?"
The slightest sadness could be found in Courts eyes, but he nodded. "You can't be. Much as we wanted you to be, you can't be. Not from this universe at least." Oh, so Court had figured it out. Maybe he was more than just military, or maybe military on this world was smarter. "I went over that garage 20 times, there was no way you broke in, no footprints or drag marks leading to you outside of our scuffle, and no way you knew the codes to get in. There's not a lot of options for that. There's also the brand itself, its far too old. You would've gotten it in your early teens, maybe younger, I knew Ryland until he left as an adult. He never had it."
Ryland didn't wait for more banter, not liking where the conversation was going and how almost on the mark Court was getting. He cut to the chase, "What do we do now?"
"You can't really run wild out there. Our Ryland is gone and you showing up would raise a world wide meltdown. We already had one neighbor come to ask about the spectacle you put on, and I've had to doctor the security footage of no less than 12 houses, including this one." He looked only mildly annoyed.
Ryland considered this. "World-wide?"
"Ryland we shot you into space years ago to save the planet, you did, and in the footage sent back to us you knew you weren't coming home" Court obviously wasn't bothering with distinguishing between them when Ryland could figure out who he was talking about easily.
Shaking his head he said, "We will get into that later. So were on earth," he smartly deduced from Court saying it out loud, all previous theories so far out the airlock it wasn't funny, "I'm alive by miracle of theoretical physics. You're my... brothers?" he gets a nod, "I have to assume I can't go back, not that I'd particularly like to, and I can't go anywhere."
"This is gonna be fun for all of us."
"You have an interesting definition of fun."
"And I get the feeling you have no definition of fun. You gonna leave?" He considered, and then shook his head. "Great. Shower is left down the hall, last door. I'm going to talk to Colt. Later we can all talk." Court turned heel and left, leaving the door open behind him.
_____
"That's not Ryland. At least not ours."
Colt groaned. "I know. It doesn't make sense but I know."
They stood looking at each other in silence, contemplating what had happened and the fact that their brother was still gone, until Court spoke, "You know this isn't your fault?"
Colt turned away, fresh hot tears stinging his eyes like they did anytime someone said it. "Court what are we going to do with him?"
He wasn't getting out of it that easy. Forcing Colt to face him with a strength he knew he had no chance of fighting, Court said it again. "This isn't your fault." He closed his eyes in a desperate attempt not to cry. "This isn't your fault. None of this. Not then, not now." Even with his eyes closed he felt the tears begin to run down his cheeks. "Colt this isn't your fault." He started shaking. "This isn't either of our faults." Court himself started to sound rough. As much as he tried every now and then his training as Six waned in the emotions department, and Colt could see it now.
He coughed out a sob, "It's not our fault." He slumped his head on Courts shoulder and they quietly cried together.
They held each other comfortingly until Colt had jolted and began to wiggle out of his grip as he remembered something. "Shit!"
"What?" Court had let him go when he started struggling.
"I already called Simon."
_________
The link for the shirt was miles long, so if you want to see what I'm talking about you can look up "Can I lick it periodic table" and you'll find it.
Since Ryland will never get to know what happened to the others on the other side I'll make a 4.5 for this AU if anyone's interested telling you what happened in general. Please let me know if that's something you'd like to see!
