To Be Loved (Yoonho Baek x Reader) 2
A/N: Welcome back to chapter 2! Full warnings/tags in the tags or on Ao3
Chapter 1 < Chapter 2 > Chapter 3
Tears are streaming down your face as you race home, taking off your heels to run faster on the streets. The door to your apartment slams open, the cacophony ringing through the silent building.
Your chest is tight from holding in your tears and sobs. You take short, staggard breaths, trying to fill your chest with some air. You need to get out of here and find some place to decompress.
You grab your gym bag, a change of clothes for work, and your work bag and make your way to the gym. The soft glow of the lamps illuminate your broken face as you race off to the familiar gym building.
No one is at the desk to greet you in your distress. You run into the locker room, stripping your clothes and throwing them into the trash. You sob as you look in the mirror, you still feel the hands on your body. Your chest tightens painfully as you let the tears fall.
A shower will make me feel better.
It didn’t. The hot water running over your body just made you cry with more force, the stress of your relationship from the past several months finally crashes down on you. Even with the scalding water pounding down on your back, your body shakes from the adrenaline coursing through you.
Does Logan love me?
After your shower you feel restless. You change into your matching leggings and top, throwing on your white trainers, taking note of your raw feet from the concrete. Leaving your phone in the locker room on do not disturb. The only call you allow through is your boss, just in case he needs you. The distraction would be welcomed.
You start on the treadmill, then move onto the stair master, then onto the weight racks. You want to feel something other than the lingering hands on your body. You stay in the gym until the sun rises.
Your body is weak with hunger, but the rage and disgust in your mind removes your appetite and need to sleep. You change for work, a grey pantsuit with black pumps for today.
You leave everything but your work bag at the gym and make your way to the coffee shop. The first shift workers buzz around as you walk through the day light streets. The busy hum is only an ambiance to you as your sore feet carry you to your destination.
Your feet barely lift up to continue marching on, causing your black shoes to get scuffed up. Your shoulders get battered as people continuously bump into you.
After paying for your order, you find a booth in the back of the busy coffee shop.
A croissant sits in front of you. Your stomach churns as you stare at the pastry. The only thoughts that run through your head is the man touching you as Logan stares at you in disgust.
He acted like I was the person in the wrong.
He acted like I wanted that man to assault me.
Bile rises in your throat, but you resist the urge to throw up.
I need something else to think about.
You place Mr. Baek’s coffee order and watch other people come in and out of the shop.
No one knows what you went through, just as you don’t know what they are going through. The old man that just walked past you could have lost his child. The tall blonde man might be working an endless and life draining corporate job. The siblings that walked in, both with pink hair and a noticeable age difference could be have the best day of their lives.
No one knows what happened to you, and no one needs to know what happened to you.
You make your way to the office, two hours earlier than your required arrival time. Mr. Baek always gets to the office around this time, Jean arrives sometime between then and your arrival time.
Well not today.
You drop your bag off at your desk and sign in to your computer. Mr. Baek has yet to arrive.
You sit and run through emails inquiring about different weapons and armor conventions, new business connections to make, and other spam emails. The workload engrosses you, your mind finally forgetting about what happened.
The coffee cups lain forgotten in front of you as your busy hands clack against your keyboard.
You don't hear the door open, nor do you notice your boss standing in the doorway. His suit is crisp, freshly pressed before being put on. He quickly checks over you, working at your desk before double checking the time on his watch. He isn't late, you're early.
“Good morning.” Mr. Baek greets you, standing there shocked at your early arrival.
“Good morning, sir. I have your coffee.” Standing up, you grab the hot cup and walk over to your boss. His fingers graze your hand and you give him his coffee.
His eyes lock onto your feet, where you keep shifting your weight from one foot to the other.
“Thank you. May I ask why you’re here so early?” His voice is soft, slowly taking a sip from his coffee. A grin smooths across his face at the delicious drink.
No one needs to know.
“I had a rough night sleeping, decided to get a head start on today.” You smile, hoping your facade isn’t see through.
“I see. Do I still have that 10:30 meeting with the security company today?” You look up to your boss and smile. He can see you’re tired, your mask isn’t completely fool proof.
“Yes, Sir. It will be in the third conference room today at 10:30.”
“Good, make sure you are here after I get out of that meeting. If all goes as planned, we will be traveling to the United States.” He smiles down at you, guiding you to your desk.
You wince as your heels dig into a particular tender spot, Yoonho Baek immediately notices your discomfort.
At your desk, you stop and stand dumbstruck. He pulls out your chair and guides you to sit down. You turn in your seat to ask your boss a question about what he has just said, but the door to his office was already closing.
You shake your head and turn back to your computer.
Focus on your work.
Jean comes in about an hour later, her iced coffee shaking in her hand. She stands and looks at you for a moment, noting your shaking hands and messy hair.
“Hey girl. You’re here early.” You nod your head, engrossed in your work to pay attention to the woman sitting gingerly at her desk. Jean turns on her computer and takes the time to look at your tired eyes. They’re blood shot and seem to be staring at one spot on your monitor.
She sighs; your date didn’t go well. If it did go well, you would be chatting her ear off about your wonderful and amazing boyfriend.
Instead, you’re silent. The bags under your red eyes show you didn’t sleep at all.
Jean rolls her chair over to sit by yours. You don’t even flinch as she bumps into your chair.
“How did your date go?” Jean watches as your eyes shift left and right, trying to come up with an answer. You open your mouth to say something, but your memories keep you quiet.
No one needs to know.
“It was fine.” Your voice cracks, but you're too lost in your mind to notice.
“No it wasn’t.” Your throat constricts. Your chest feels tight again as you try to not cry.
All that you can feel are the hands sliding on your body. You can only hear Logan's accusatory voice, saying that what happened was your fault.
Jean notices how you freeze in your seat. Your breathing becomes rapid and short as your hands move to your neck, pulling the collar of your shirt away from your body.
Jean guides your body to stand and navigates you both to the restroom. Jean notes how your eyes gloss over, lost in thought. She easily moves your body along with hers as you stumble with her into the quiet restroom.
You lean against the counter, the events of last night play freshly in your mind. You’re unaware of Jean quietly fixing your hair, she wipes away the tears that run down your face.
She may talk a lot of shit about your relationship, but she cares about you. She considers you one of her close friends.
“It’s okay to cry, honey. You don’t deserve a man like him anyway.” You finally snap out of your haze at her words. Your chest constricts as a sob runs through your body. Your hands moved to twist into your hair, the sharp pain refreshing against the dull thud in your chest.
Jean eases your hands out of your hair and cradles them in her own. Her eyes well with unshed tears for her friend.
Jean holds you close to her as you cry, unaware of the actual reason for your distraught tears.
“Did he show up? Was he drunk? Did he even appreciate you?” Jean’s last question makes you freeze up. She pulls away from you to see your sullen face.
“You didn’t get laid, huh?” Jean’s knowing smirk is wiped from her face from your response.
“He let another man touch me.” Your voice is a horse whisper. Jean pulls you back into her embrace as you cry. She rubs your back and rocks you slowly, side to side as violent sobs rack your body.
You and Jean stay in the bathroom until you run out of tears. A numb feeling comes over you, exhaustion is quick to follow. You feel heavy, your feet hurting as you lean further against the counter.
“Honey, where did you go last night?” Jean help you fix your hair and clothes, making you presentable again. Her hands cradle your face as a mother would a distraught child.
“I stayed at the gym until I came in.”
“You slept at the gym?”
“No," a hiccup interrupts your answer. "I worked out until the sun rose. Then I got ready to come in.”
“You need to get some sleep, honey.” Jean guides you out of the bathroom.
“I don’t want to go back to the apartment.”
“Honey, you did nothing wrong. Besides, you own the place.” You sit down in your chair, Jean handing you a bottle of water.
“My name is on the lease.”
“You pay the rent.”
“You’re right.” You pause, taking a long drink of water. You set the bottle down beside your forgotten coffee and rub your face.
“I don’t want to see him, Jean. He was angry at me because the man touched me. He was drunk and- I don’t know.” Your hands cover your face in embarrassment. Your friend rests a hand on your shoulder before moving back to her own desk to start her work.
It’s 10:45. Mr. Baek is in his meeting. You just have to stay here until your boss talks to you.
Jean sits at her desk with a very mean look on her face. Her frustration is taken out on her poor keyboard.
Yoonho Baek enters the lobby to his office, observing his two employees. Jean is absolutely fuming, anger radiating off her body. You are sitting at your desk, your head in hand as you stair off into space. You are tired—no— exhausted.
He walks over to your desk, setting a fresh cup of coffee on your desk.
The movement makes you jump. You look up at him, your gazes locked. His voice is low and soft as he addresses you.
“The meeting with the security company went as planned. We will be leaving for the United States tomorrow morning. I’ll send a car to pick you up and take you to the airport.” Jean stops smashing her keyboard, waiting for your reaction.
Your shaking hand reaches for the coffee and you take a sip. You take a deep breath, the hot liquid burning down your throat.
“I’ll be ready. What time is the car coming for me?” Your stomach growls as the coffee enters your system.
“2:30.” You close your eyes and nod your head.
You sit at your desk, closing down your software. You’re not going to get any more work done. Might as well finish your coffee before leaving for your apartment.
Your chest tightens at the thought of seeing Logan again.
You miss the questioning look Yoonho sent to Jean, who simply shakes her head. A silent warning to not prod.
“I’m going to the gym. Your dismissed for the day.” You nod your head in acknowledgement.
Jean walks over to your desk as Mr. Baek leaves the building.
“Honey, do you want me to come with you? You don’t need to face him alone.” Jean leans over your desk.
You shake your head, setting down your new drink.
“I need to do this on my own. Logan is my boyfriend, I need to deal with what happened.”
“Honey, there is no coming back from what happened.” The little voice in the back of your head agrees with Jean.
I love my boyfriend.
“I-“ The words never leave your mouth.
I want to have faith in my boyfriend.
“You can keep me company until I get done with my work.” Jean grabs your new cup of coffee, sets it in your hands, and pushes your chair to be next to hers.
The rest of the day blurs by, Jean chatting your ears off about anything and everything. You sit and observe her. Her blonde hair was pin straight today. She is in a red skirt and a black top. Her blue eyes are behind her pair of clear glasses. Jean effortlessly breezes through emails, phone calls, and forms.
She is so pretty. Why doesn’t she date?
I bet she can stand up for herself when someone-
“Earth to hot ass woman? It’s time to go.” Jean already has her purse over her shoulder.
You nod your head and stand up, your legs shaking from the exertion you put on them last night. Step by step you follow Jean out of the building until your roads split.
“My offer still stands if you want me to come with.” Jean grabs your hand, giving it a squeeze.
You stand and look at your apartment building in the distance. The cold January air hits your already numb face.
“Thank you, Jean. But I can take it from here.” You squeeze her hand before dropping it. She nods her head before turning her back and walking away.
You follow her lead and make your way to your apartment.
When you open the door, the sight that greeted you was not one that you wanted to see. Your boyfriend was on the couch with Toji and Frank. All three heads turn towards you as you close the door.
Logan stands up and walks towards you, his face unreadable. You talk first.
“I’m going back to the states for a work trip in the morning. I’m getting picked up at 2:30 am.” You hold your bag close to your chest as Logan looks at you with disgust.
“Who are you going with?” He sneers.
“My boss, Mr. Baek.”
“You’re going with the S-Rank hunter?” Toji sneers. You hate the way he is looking at you. You hold a neutral face, preparing for anything that could be said next.
“You better not do anything funny on that trip.” Logan steps to get closer to you, but you hold up a hand to stop him.
“I could say the same thing.” You whisper, moving past your boyfriend and into the bathroom.
The three men in your living room proceed to get back to yelling at the TV, drinking or whatever they do at 3 in the afternoon.
You look at yourself for a while. Your clothes are stripped off your tall body. The person in the mirror looks nothing like yourself. Your eyes are sunken in and red from crying. Your skin is pale and flush, sickly looking.
Your toned stomach and waist look a bit too thin for your liking.
Probably from not eating.
You quickly shower, throw on your robe, and lock yourself in your bedroom to pack. You pack a minimum of a weeks worth of clothing, your boss not giving you the amount of time you’re going to spend in your home country.
Your suitcase and work bag are packed and waiting by the bedroom door. An alarm is set to go off at 2 so that you don’t keep the driver waiting.
You lay in your bed, mind racing too much to think of sleeping.
What gives him the right of telling you to not do any funny business when he acted like- like—
Like he didn’t care about you last night.
More tears fall from your eyes, the only sign of your emotions. The time slowly ticks by before your alarm signals.
You dress in sweatpants and a sweatshirt for the flight. You take your bags and walk out to your living room to see your boyfriend asleep on the couch, the TV blaring.
You look over the disaster of your apartment and boyfriend.
When you get back, you will have your mind made up on whether or not to break up with Logan.
You still love him. But does he love you back?
Chapter 1 < Chapter 2 > Chapter 3
