7 Days
Author: Stephany Prompt given by @gabriel-monthly-challenge “ Without warning, a crash ripped through the air, and he opened his eyes.” Word Count: 2826
“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.”
In the beginning there was him, the archangel lost to the world for too many years, and you, the human who had mourned him as you knew what exactly the world had lost. Now you were quiet, cold, empty inside, darkness over your features at every passing moment, even as he hovered behind you.
The first day that he was back he spent in a room with the light off, surrounded in darkness because apparently the light was too much for his eyes. He’d been trapped in that cell for who knew how long, and despite the fact that a bedroom was much different than a cell you thought he was stupidly just trapping himself away from the rest of you.
Meanwhile you went as far away from him as possible, above ground, to the field next to the bunker that was overgrown with weeds and dandelions and you sat in the light from the sun. You let that light ground you, let your eyes wander. Up here you could pretend that nothing had changed. It was just another day when they didn’t have a hunt. Another day just like the last, and the one before that, and the one before that, and so on for the past eight years.
On the second day, once he finally emerged, he talked about his wings. He’d roll his shoulders and stretch and say that it felt good to let them out. “Once I’m back in tip top shape I’m gonna take these babies for a test fly,” he smirked as if he’d never lost his spirit. You’d never seen his wings before but could imagine them, white maybe, or ruddy brown fanning out as the wind ruffled the feathers and he flew through the sky, between this plane and the next.
Instead of staying to listen to him you left the war room, making your way to the showers where you stood behind the curtain and let water fall over your body. You let your mind wander to this one time, you and the boys had gone to the coast for a case and you’d stopped at the beach. An incoming storm had pushed away the tourists and you stood in the downpour with the waves coming up and soaking the hem of your jeans. Just barely touching the sea and yet surrounded.
Then the third day came and you once again made your way to the surface. But this time Gabe followed you up. Barefoot so his feet could soak in the soil and the cold grass. You ignored him, or at least you pretended to as you moved through the trees, feeling the solid earth beneath the soles of your shoes.
You weren’t sure when exactly he went inside but at some point you realized he was no longer there. If you were being honest, you wouldn’t have been surprised if he had taken off again. And you weren’t sure that you wanted to find out, so instead of going back inside to check you waited until it got dark. Even then you waited, wasting your time by laying up against the side of the building and looking upwards at the moon and the stars. Familiar patterns you had learned long ago swirled among them and that was how you started the fourth day. It was long past midnight when you fell asleep in the brush, head slumping onto your shoulder.
A day later, on the fifth day you rode in the backseat of the impala with Gabriel. You had pressed yourself up against the door, the window down and a breeze blowing through your hair. It was becoming commonplace to see Gabe around again but the ache in your chest never left and so you kept your eyes closed, listening to the sound of the engine rumbling beneath you and birds calling in the trees. When you finally dared to open your eyes you spotted a hawk, fast and fierce as it swooped down from the tree, its wings spread wide in glory. And even though you wouldn’t look to see the angel beside you, you thought of him.
Then on the sixth day you walked out of your room to find the archangel on the couch in front of the television watching some kind of nature documentary and eating handfuls of chocolate covered something. It was so casual that you froze and your hands clenched by your sides. You couldn’t focus on the lions and the gazelles, the bulls on the screen of the tv but on the back of Gabe’s head. His hair was more tamed than it had been when he’d been brought back to the bunker. At that point it had curled with dried blood and sweat making it stick up at odd angles. He must have been feeling better because he at least seemed to have put minimal grace into styling it on this day and there was a war inside of you that fought for how you should feel. Pushing it back down, you turned on your heel and headed back to your room.
When the seventh day came you were tired. For six days you had been fighting with yourself. The emotions coursing through you made you weak and shaky, on edge. Despite having taken so much time to yourself, despite the room that the two angels and the two brothers had given you, nothing had been able to heal that ache. Which was exactly what caused everything that happened as you stood in the kitchen.
You had been standing by the counter, holding a mug of fresh brewed coffee between your shaking hands. Your hip was digging into the edge and you used the pain to remind yourself to breathe normally. It had been a week since he’d come here, a week since you found out he was safe. A week since you found out he was alive.
In that week’s time he’d gone from a withdrawn shell of the angel you once knew to the happy go lucky archangel that had left you. He hadn’t spoken to you but you’d overheard Castiel talking to the boys about his time between then and now. You had pretended like you never knew, but you were sure Gabriel could tell. How could he not? You had barely looked at him since he got back. The way you had left things, you should have acted much differently, felt so much differently. And Gabriel let it slide.
For a full minute you had been staring into the black liquid in your cup, watching tendrils of steam rise into the air and the way it vibrated when you breathed a little too roughly or your hands shook too hard. The cavity of your chest felt tight, constricting the way your heart pounded against it. When you looked up you saw him sitting at the table. He had clearly been watching you from the way his body was facing your way, but at the moment he was chewing a chocolate donut with sprinkles, his eyes closed as if relishing the taste and everything shattered.
Without warning, a crash rippled through the air, and he opened his eyes.
Scalding coffee soaked your hands, the front of your shirt, and the bottom of your pajama pants. Shards of ceramic littered the floor but you didn’t look down. Instead you watched the way he rose from his chair, the donut suddenly vanished from his hand. His own eyes were flickering between the mess and you, your hands held out in front of you as if keeping the heat away from the rest of you. You watched the concern flash through his eyes and felt the sharp blade of betrayal twist in your gut. He had no right.
“Y/N,” his voice was soft and you sucked in sharply upon hearing it. He hadn’t spoken your name once since he’d been back. “Here.” He offered his hand, palm down as he reached for your arms. But the burn distracted you from other things and you jerked back.
“Don’t touch me.” Your voice rattled, your teeth gritted against the pain. “You don’t deserve-” you cut yourself off when he froze in his tracks. His eyes softened slightly but they never left you. Like sunshine through a glass of whiskey. It looked pretty but left with a burn.
“You’re hurt.” The words were simple, matter of fact.
“And whose fault is that?” you snapped in reply. You knew he was talking about the burns on your arms but that wasn’t what you were worried about. The burns would heal, but for all you knew, this feeling never would.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Don’t shit with me, Gabriel. I know where you were. For eight years. Eight fucking years. It wasn’t the damn empty. It wasn’t where Cas went when he died. You went traversing the world and you left us. You left me. You let me think you were dead for eight fucking years!” Steadily your voice rose.
“I waited for it to be some stupid trick. For a year I waited, I wished... I would have given anything for you to not be dead. I could have forgiven you because I just wanted you back, but you never came back.
“Did you even care? Or was everything just a joke to you? Do I even want to know? I forced myself to give up on you... I had prayed to you and now I know you heard every fucking word! And you didn’t care. You never came back, you let me make a fool of myself every day and now you come back and you expect everything to go back to normal. No. No! Fuck you, Gabe! Fuck you and the past eight years! No. Not the past eight years. Every second before that when I let myself believe that you actually gave a damn about someone besides yourself.”
You stepped around to the sink, turning your back to him as you turned on the water and ran your hands under it. The last thing you wanted was his help.
“You don’t deserve to come back here and have everyone let you off because you went through a bad time. You put that on yourself, Gabe. And you aren’t the only one who had a bad fucking time. I had to deal with shit too, and now I know you could hear me...” your chest heaved pushed the faucet up higher, wincing at the rush of water against your skin and you leaned your elbows on the edge of the counter, folding yourself over it and hanging your head. “You shouldn’t have come back. I was happy. I was finally happy again and you ruined it.”
Silence fell between the two of you and you bit your trembling bottom lip. When your knees felt too weak you shakily stopped the flow of water and turned around, sliding down until your butt hit the tile floors. You didn’t care if Gabriel saw. He’d heard so many things, you were sure that nothing could be worse than that.
What you hadn’t expected was for him to kneel in front of you, using a hand on the table to help him get down. He took in an audible breath that he didn’t need. “I was afraid.” His hands reached for yours once more and again you pulled back out of reach, one knee pulled up to your chest and the other leg sprawled in front of you.
“Afraid to come back?” you scoffed. “Afraid you’d lose your freedom?” One eyebrow cocked upwards and you bit down on the inside of your cheek this time.
“Afraid to fight,” he sighed, his hands falling down to his knees. They were healed now but you’d seen them when he first came in. Covered in dried blood and scars, knuckled bruised, palms with dirt in all the lines and creases. “I’ve always been afraid to fight. And even with for you... I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill my brother.” There was a long pause.
“And what about after? What about after Sam sacrificed himself and Dean found his own life and Cas went off to wherever he went and I was alone? I was so alone, Gabe. I had no one. Or even after that? There was eight years in between then and now and not all of it was fighting. What could you possibly have been afraid of then?” You glanced up and met his eyes finally. His entire face seemed to sag, shoulders slumping.
“You, kiddo,” he let his tongue jet out to swipe across his lower lip. “I couldn’t stop thinking of how I failed you. I thought you’d be mad. Hell, you’re still mad. I didn’t want you to know I failed you so badly.”
“So you’d rather just abandon me?” your voice shook.
His head lowered and he stared at his hands. “No, that’s not... I know that’s what I did. But I hadn’t thought about it like that. I would never abandon you. I thought... I thought I was doing you a favor. I’m sorry I left you like that, kiddo...”
The sound of the nickname he’d given you so many years ago sent a shiver through you. It had been frequent for a whole year. Until your relationship progressed and it had fallen to a special time and place name in favor for something more playful. You had missed that and you let your head fall back against the wood of the cabinet and your eyes closed, a rogue tear leaking from the corner of your eye and down your cheek.
“Y/N,” his voice was desperate now. “Please, don’t do that Sugar... I’m not worth that.”
“I missed you so much,” your voice was barely audible and you heard the rustle of his jacket as he shifted.
“I missed you too. I never stopped thinking about you. There were places I went... I wanted to show you. I still do if you’ll let me one day. I’ll wait for you. I’m here now and I’ll do what it takes to prove to you that I’m here to stay.” Once more he reached out for your hands, and this time you let him. He didn’t really have to touch you to heal you, but it helped him. He wanted to see what hurt. Just by your fingertip brushing him he could feel everything you let him and he frowned, letting his grace heal the burns on your skin. It was a fast process but he didn’t drop your hand even then. His fingers just barely clung onto yours.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Gabe. I’m sorry I said what I did. You didn’t deserve that, no matter what I’ve been through,” you stared at where his hand held yours.
“I can’t say I agree with you there,” his chin brushed as chest when he looked down. “I’ve done a lot of things, and what I did to you was probably one of the worst. It sure feels that way. I just wish I would have gotten the chance to tell you on my own. Didn’t want you to find out this way...”
“And how long would you have waited, Gabe? You ran away for centuries from your family. I don’t have centuries. I’m a human. A century is pushing it for me, especially with the kind of life I live. And you know that.”
He winced slightly and squeezed his eyes shut. “I know that. I know. I want to take it all back, and I’m sure I could... but who knows how that would change the future. For all I know you might not even be here today,” Gabe chewed on his lower lip. “If you really wanted me to-”
“Stop it. I don’t want that. Just... don’t leave me again...” your voice was tired, defeated in a manner. But you felt lighter now, like you could breathe again. You weren’t sure how long you had been without it but you felt like you finally had the air you needed.
“I won’t,” he said, the words simple but his eyes holding a promise only you could understand. You nodded a little and looked back down at his hands. For a moment everything was silent before he stood up and offered you his own hand to help you up. You took it and he pulled you up, slinging an arm around your shoulders. “Come on. It looks like we both have some healing to do and there’s nothing better for healing than ice cream,” he smirked and you couldn’t help but chuckle as he led you into the next room.
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