Warnings: Mentions of blood, theft, mutilation and violence.
Princes; Hoseok & Yoongi
others; PJM&KTY // KNJ // KSJ // JJK
chapter one
“I didn’t realise our standards seemed so low, Hyung.” The younger prince frowned playfully, making the elder roll his eyes.
“I told you, if you want it done right do it yourself.” The scarred boy reminded, his feline shaped eyes narrowed at the well dressed man ahead.
The two perfectionists stood with arms crossed and eyes narrowed. Despite their high status, the brothers had worked hard to get what they wanted. They could have easily ridden on their fathers coat tail and got what they wanted, but they had decided they wanted to be praised for actually doing well.
And yet, here they were losing all their glory to a stable boy.
“I didn’t think he had the guts to go against us.” Hoseok admitted, fascination coating his words.
They had struck up a deal with the young boy, but it wasn’t going the way they had wanted it to. Not only did the boy mess up and change their work, but he took all the credit. The peasant couldn’t even read, how in God’s name was he writing poetry?
“This was all your idea.” Yoongi sighed, licking his lips as he watched the peasant lap up the attention. “You fix it.”
The younger sighed dramatically, but agreed. He was younger after all, he didn’t get to deny his elders. Besides, it was true. This was his mistake, he should be the one to take care of it.
Besides, he knew his brother would be there helping him. The marred boy could never turn down the opportunity of violence.
“You did well, stable boy.” Hoseok praised, a warm smile on his lips.
The young boy shrank back, his malnourished body quivering. “T-thank you Sir.”
Hoseok nodded, leaning against the wooden posts.The stables was one of his favourite places to go, once he could get past the smell of shit.
He waved his fingers, silently telling the boy to go back to his job. He quickly obeyed, the teen rushing to clean out one of the many horse stalls.
“A shame you didn’t mention anything about the writers.” The prince sighed, playing with the ends of his long dark hair. “You’re very lucky I’m far more lenient than my brother.”
The boy turned, eyes wide. He attempted to spit out an excuse but his tongue betrayed him. Instead his head dropped in shame.
“But unfortunately, not lucky enough.” Hoseok continued, pushing off the wall and sauntering over to the short boy. “My older brother saw it all.” He admitted, tsking.
The stable boy wheezed, seeming to have lost the ability to breathe as he dropped to his knees. His back crumbled over, laying in a bowing position as apologises spewed past his dirty lips.
Hoseok rolled his dark eyes, glancing over his shoulder with a grin. “Oh dear boy, it’s far too late for that now.”
Yoongi traipsed into the stables, a disgusted look painting over his usual disinterested expression. The shorter brother rarely ventured to the stables, or outside at that. He rathered the comfort of his room and bed.
Hoseok glanced at his brother, quirking an eyebrow at the small blade in his pale hand. The elder shrugged, holding the handle out.
On a warm spring night, somewhere among the streetlights and the cherry blossom trees, you met a boy.
Carrying two shopping bags filled with groceries, you were on your way home and on your way to end the day and put it up on the dusty shelf in the back of your mind, along with all the other days that were barely worth remembering, the ones whose fate was to fade into mediocrity. You had gone to class, gone to work, gone to the store, and now you were going home, every step taking you further away from the faceless crowds and stoic routine that merged into a bland recollection of a day, a week, a year.
More than once, you had contemplated the fact that although people met hundreds, maybe thousands, of other people in their lifetime, not many of them stayed.
And even fewer made a difference.
You didn't mind much. In a city of over ten million people, you considered it fortunate to have a place where you could spend a few hours of solitude; a luxury that you could go almost anywhere, day or night, and feel completely safe because you were never really alone; a blessing that, amidst the anonymity of the city, you had found a handful of people who had decided to stay and change your life for the better.
When you thought about it, you had never known what it was like to feel alone, to be by yourself and perfectly fine – except for the feeling that a piece of you was just out of reach, leaving your heart restless and with a dull ache, weeping quietly whenever you stopped to listen to it. All your life, you had always chosen to be around people because you wanted to be, not because you felt compelled to. You had never really needed a person.
You had never known what it was like to truly and utterly miss someone.
Until the day the plastic bag in your left hand ripped, spilling its contents on the black asphalt beneath it, and when you bent down to pick them up, a hand was already busy cramming tofu packets and cartons of banana milk into the space created between an angled forearm and chest, and then stacking things on top of them. You looked up to find a concentrated face – strands of brown sticking out from under a backwards snapback, warm eyes that were slightly darker than the hair. The smooth slope of a nose that looked almost sculpted and curved into a tip that gave it a cute and youthful look and immediately became your favorite feature about the stranger's face. That was, until he finally noticed you looking at him, lifted his head, and let his pale pink lips stretch into a wide, joyful smile that made you feel like time had stopped to give you a moment to understand.
But you didn't.
Not then, anyway, because before you could realize what had happened, the boy started speaking.
“I think this is everything.”
You looked around you to find the street clear of groceries before eyeing the pile of food and drinks in his arms.
“Yeah.”
“Do you have another bag?”
“No.”
“Do you live nearby? I can carry it for you.”
Part of you was trying to ring the alarm bells to remind you of everything your mother and common sense had taught you about letting a stranger know where you lived. But it was silenced by the kind smile on his face and the part of you that still tried to grasp why you had suddenly forgotten everything you had done on this day, as if the only important thing about it was that you were right here, right now.
“About ten minutes,” you answered, and the boy nodded, still smiling as he stood.
“Then let's go.”
You got up as well and realized that his lean frame had fooled you – he was taller than he looked, and he had to angle his head to meet your gaze when he stood before you. His olive green shirt had a generous neckline that revealed some of the skin of his shoulders and his collarbones.
“Something wrong?”
“No.” Instinctively, you reached out to pick a white petal that had landed on his tan skin from his shoulder. “No, it's fine.”
“I'm Hoseok,” he suddenly said, offering another one of his blinding smiles in lieu of a handshake. You gave him your name and finally found yourself able to reciprocate his friendly expression.
“Do you do this often?” you asked teasingly. “Going around and helping strangers?”
Hoseok grinned as if you had given him a certain cue, reminded him of a universal joke that only you were not in on yet.
“It's what I do,” he laughed. “I try to bring hope to people.”
You looked up at him for a while – his soft features, his gentle expression, his deep brown eyes, too dark to give away any of his secrets.
“Look at you,” you said quietly, thoughtfully. “Trying to save the world all by yourself.”
Hoseok's smile froze as he stared at you, searching, wondering, trying to understand.
And around you, the cherry blossom petals fell like snow.
I'm here.
You smiled at the message on your phone and got up from your seat before the subway had even arrived at the platform. Impatiently, you waited for the doors to part so you could jump out of the car and, not having any time to lose, walk up the escalators towards the gates. You swiped your card over the reader and slalomed your way through the crowds filling the belly of the tiled beast that was your station. Almost automatically, you made your way to the exit closest to your apartment and hurried up the stairs. When you reached the top of the flight, you didn't need to look around.
Hoseok was waiting in a dark corner near the grocery store about twenty feet from the exit.
He had waited there for you almost every day for the past week and a half. Whether you were coming from work or from school, he was there, most of his face hidden by a white or black surgical mask, but his eyes always, always smiling when he saw you. Hoseok had a busy schedule, so he would pick you up at the station and walk you home before returning to work. You had tried to convince him that him coming all the way here from rehearsal or the dorm or wherever was way too stressful and that you wouldn't mind if he just texted you or called once in a while until things quieted down a little. But Hoseok had just laughed and shaken his head.
“Who knows when that will be,” he had said and playfully nudged his shoulder against yours. “I want to see you now.”
“But it's so exhausting. What if you get sick?” you had protested, concern evident on your face.
“Then I will get better again. You don't have to worry about me. I'm fine.”
You had grunted in disapproval but let it go. That was one of the first things you had noticed about Hoseok – he was always fine. Work was fine, his friends were fine, his health was fine. All his stories were fun anecdotes, cute stories about his dog or older sister, or touching memories of an ultimately happy childhood. If a tale had a slightly negative connotation, he would tell them as if they were now nothing but a joke to him.
Time heals all wounds.
“How was your day?” Hoseok asked when you had made your way to him. You shrugged.
“It was okay, nothing special. What about yours?”
“Rehearsal was good! We're still working out some of the kinks in a few of the choreographies because the stage is bigger than last time.”
“How does it feel at the top?” you grinned and Hoseok's eyes crinkled when he smiled again.
“Pretty damn good.”
He waited for you to start walking and then fell in line with your steps. You talked about music and dancing, friends and family, close enough that sometimes your arms, sometimes your hands, brushed against each other, each subtle touch a testament to a feeling of comfort and familiarity that defied time and logic and everything you thought you had known about love.
The cherry blossoms had already withered, only a few stubborn specks of white and pink still clinging to the dark, naked branches as if refusing to accept that the seasons were about to change again. You barely noticed them, however, because for you summer had already begun as you basked in the rays of Hoseok's smile and bathed in the warmth of his voice.
“You know, I could come out there sometimes,” you suggested when you were standing in front of your apartment door. “So you don't always have to come all the way out here. I'm sure we could find a quiet place to hide away in for a little while.”
“Maybe,” Hoseok said. “But I like just walking around here. I like being part of your day. I like going your way home.”
“Hoseok-”
“I like being with you.” He pulled down the mask to give you a small but genuine smile. “It's easy.”
You stayed silent when his face got serious and something shifted in his eyes to reveal some of the tenderness and affection he had tried to hide behind silly laughter and frivolous conversations, but that his actions had been betraying, just as much as your heart had betrayed you. Hoseok reached up to carefully pull out a white petal that had gotten caught in your hair. You kept your eyes on his as if trying to look beyond the soft brown and straight into his soul. He balanced the small flake on the tip his index finger before delicately blowing it into the air and gently placing his palm on your cheek.
And then he kissed you.
Life did not quiet down – neither for you nor for Hoseok – and the times he was able to pick you up at the station and walk home with you became fewer and fewer. It wasn't until a few months later that you realized you missed those short but enjoyable walks. They had always been fun and careless; back then everything had been just fine.
However, they had made room for something much bigger, much better, much more precious.
You had given Hoseok the code to your apartment, and he had started coming directly to your place whenever he had a chance. He would arrive with food or flowers – always forget-me-nots, because, he would laugh, sometimes he could get so busy that he was afraid they were more than necessary. You would chuckle at his joke that wasn't really one and kiss him, and then he'd hug you a little too tightly until his heart was at ease again.
When you had let Hoseok into your home, he had finally started to let you in.
It had started with him inviting you to meet his friends and band members, every interaction accompanied by proud smiles and entertaining stories about how you had met or your first disastrous weekend trip together to Okinawa that you had embarked on without checking for typhoon warnings. You enjoyed the laughter and the friendly atmosphere, but time and time again you felt like you were once more part of something that you weren't yet in on. His friends engaged and encouraged Hoseok the storyteller, the entertainer, the energetic life of the party, but sometimes that Hoseok felt like the stranger you had met that day under the cherry blossom trees.
With Hoseok, everything always seemed fine, but you knew it wasn't.
And they knew it, too.
It took a little more time – a few weeks, a few months, you weren't sure looking back – until one day, you heard the front door open and close, and then footsteps walking straight into your bedroom. You put down the pot you had been washing in the sink in the kitchen and frowned. Hoseok never failed to greet you when he came to your apartment, even after more than three months since he had first kissed you in the dark hallway.
You carelessly dried your hands with a towel hanging on the wall and wiped off the rest on your skirt as you quietly walked to the bedroom. Hoseok was lying on his back on the bed, arms crossed underneath his head and eyes closed. He had changed into a blue T-shirt and white shorts that he kept at your place. His chest was rising and sinking evenly and for a second you thought he had fallen asleep, but then his eyes opened and he looked at you. He didn't smile or speak, he just stared, his eyes a reflection of his exhaustion and irritation – two things you had never really seen in him before. Of course he was tired sometimes, or jokingly complained about someone not getting this or that right even after three million hours of practice – his words, not yours. But even then he would sigh and laugh and go back to work the next day and try even harder to make sure he and his team would get it right, and get better, and get to where their dreams were taking them.
But this time no sigh left his lips, no laugh was coming.
Nothing was fine.
Wordlessly, you walked across the room and climbed onto the bed. You pressed a long kiss to his forehead before sitting down next to him and letting him bury his face in your lap. The room was warm, the July heat having Seoul in a grip so tight that even your AC barely stood a chance against it. Thus, you decided against covering Hoseok with a blanket and simply ran your fingers comfortingly through his hair that smelled like shampoo and summer.
After a while, Hoseok's head moved and his lips brushed the naked skin of your thigh. His right arm wrapped around your waist as he adjusted his position to be more comfortable.
“How was your day?” he asked and you smiled.
“It was okay. Nothing special.”
Hoseok chuckled. “I know you think I don't open up enough. But neither do you, you know.”
Your hands stopped and your eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
“What do you mean?”
“Whenever I ask you how your day was you say it was nothing special.”
“Because most days aren't.”
“I don't care if they are special or not. I want to hear about it anyway. I want to be part of your life, even if it's only through stories. I only get to see you when your days are almost over, if at all, and you leave things behind so fast that memories can't keep up. I hide behind my smile, you hide behind your indifference.”
You watched as Hoseok sat up to face you, his expression bearing no trace of accusation or blame, only the love and kindness that soothed your heart when you were with him, and left a dull ache when he was gone.
“This is the one place I don't want to hide myself. You are the one person I don't want to hide from.”
And then you understood. It wasn't that you had never cared for people, but you found it very easy to stop caring once they left. By nature, you didn't get angry fast and didn't hold grudges. Your heart had always been steady and rational, and in perfect concurrence with your sense of reason. You rarely felt off balance or particularly emotional, and it was reflected in the way you talked and acted; polite but neutral, friendly but aloof.
You had always been fine.
Until you had met Hoseok and everything had begun to shift without you noticing. You had started to smile more with him, laugh more with him, feel more with him, and even though you hadn't realized it before, with him every day was special. Hoseok was your turning point, your eternal summer.
He was your change of heart.
“So, again.” Hoseok's voice tore you from your thoughts. “How was your day?”
You leaned in to cup his face and give him a peck on the tip of his nose.
“It was good,” you whispered, smiling. “But I missed you.”
And then you kissed him.
You woke up to Hoseok's lips trailing up the skin of your shoulder and neck. He gently twirled a strand of your hair around his finger before brushing it aside and leaning over you. You could feel his breath on your face and his fingertips caressing your skin, and you opened your eyes with a smile.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
You lifted your arms with a pout and Hoseok laughed. Then he wrapped both his arms tightly around you before rolling onto his back so that your head was resting on his chest and your body safely enveloped in his embrace. For a long time, the two of you just lay there looking out of the window, exchanging occasional kisses and smiles as you both took your time to enjoy the serene silence, the calmness that you only found with each other.
Before you had known, you had gotten to know about all the different sides of Hoseok, and he had learned about yours. You were different in many ways, and similar in others, and somehow all of those ways had led to a place of harmony, of love and understanding, and at every detour or dead end, you had chosen to find your way back together.
“There's something I've been meaning to ask you,” Hoseok said after a while. You stirred slightly.
“What's that?” you asked and angled your head upwards to kiss his jaw.
“Is there anything you're afraid of?” He pulled his lower lip between his teeth before releasing it again.
“I can't swim,” you answered, resisting the urge to make a lighthearted joke. “So water. I'm afraid of large bodies of water. Why?”
“No reason. Maybe it's the season, but I've been thinking about it more. Maybe it's part of growing older. I heard that you develop more realistic fears as you grow up, and mine have been seeming a little too real recently.”
“What are you scared of?”
Hoseok didn't reply at first. You lifted your head but laid it back down on his chest when you saw him lost in thought, deciding it would be best to give him time.
“Sometimes,” he finally said and pointed towards the hallway. “I'm afraid to walk out that door.”
“Why?”
“I'm afraid I'll go out there and not be able to be what people expect me to be. To fail and disappoint people.”
“I understand,” you replied. “They say you are always just as good as your last mistake. But there will also always be a next time, even if you fail. You will always be able to redeem yourself if you keep working hard. And look how far you've come, Hoseok. You are amazing at what you do, you are talented and successful, and most of all, you are so, so loved. You give people hope.” You propped yourself up on his chest to grin at him. “You saved my tofu.”
You waited for Hoseok to laugh at your joke, but instead he just looked at you with an almost melancholy expression. Slowly, he brought up one hand and placed it gently on your jaw, his thumb stroking your cheek as he continued to study your face as if it was the last time he'd see it and he tried to remember every line, every curve, every inch.
“There's another thing I'm afraid of.” His voice was barely a whisper.
“What?
“That one day you will realize that you are too good for me.”
You almost laughed at his words, but then you saw his irises turn darker and a frown appear on his forehead. You put your hand over his and tilted your head.
“Hoseok-”
“I mean it. You are so kind and supportive and understanding, and I can barely give anything back to you because I'm always busy. I'm afraid you'll realize that you're putting in so much more than you're getting in return and that you'll decide to just – leave.”
“It won't always be like this, Hoseok,” you said and turned your head to kiss his palm. “Things will change eventually, they always do. We are together now and that's all that matters.”
“What if things get worse?”
“Then they will get better again.” You smiled, lovingly, reassuringly. “I won't leave you, Hoseok. My heart couldn't take it.”
“Okay.” Hoseok's expression softened and he pulled you back against his chest, hugging you just a little too tightly.
“Besides,” you mumbled into his shirt, your eyes closing as you listened to the steady drum of his heartbeat. “I don't know how to change my door code.”
Hoseok laughed, loudly and freely, and the way his body shook made you giggle with adoration. When he had calmed down, he kissed the top of your head and sighed.
“I love you,” he said.
And outside, the snow was falling like cherry blossom petals.
genre; angst ship; hoseok x reader requested by; @hobijana summery; hoseok cannot get over the fact his girlfriend is dead and hallucinates about her. note; my askbox is always open! request! ~ he wasn't used to feeling kisses pressed to his cheeks as someone mumbled into their ear "I love you." he turned to face you, his eyes locked firmly onto yours. he never thought you'd even notice him let alone love him. he rested his hand to your cheek, he let his eye lids drop like a blanket of night over his eyes as his head dipped down. his lips had made contact with yours almost instantly. hoseok's eyes opened, his eyes gazed at the ceiling. he sighed sitting up in his chocolate brown king sized bed. he looked around in the empty room before clutching his head. the migraine was usually the aftermath of his beautiful flash backs of you. he let his weary eyes tear up as he sighed softly. he plodded downstairs to the lounge where the pictures of you two were in frames and decorated the fireplace. he picked up the picture of your nineteenth birthday party and smiled. he clutched his head again from the shock of pain seeping through his brain. he turn to leave the lounge to get back to bed but he spotted something out of the widow. he came closer to it resting his hands on the window sill "y/n?" his heart sank seeing her outside, he ran to the front door and swung it open. he rushed out of the house to you. you stood in the middle of a road wearing all white and smiling at him. hoseok reached the curb before a large truck drove passed hitting you. his eyes widened as he clutched his heart. deja vu was playing with his head again. he sat on the grass lawn, the dark night above his head. he brought his legs to his chest as he cried. "you left your hope too early."
He was loud during interviews and broadcasts, variety and radio shows. He was loud at the dorm and at dinner;
“Hoseok, it’s just pizza.” - “But it has extra cheese!”
He was loud in the evening and in the morning;
“Hoseok, I’m still sleeping.” - “Yeah, well, the sun’s not the only thing that’s up.” - “Oh my fucking god.”
He was loud at breakfast and in the shower;
“For the last time, Hoseok, those are not the lyrics!” - “They are now, stop interrupting my session!”
He was always louder than everyone else, laughing harder than everyone else, hiding more than anyone else. It was his way of being strong for the people around him, his way of cheering others up and his way of offering support and comfort. Hoseok was as loud as his heart was big and his smile was bright; and you loved him, you loved him so much for trying and caring and caring for you.
Because Hoseok was always loudest when you were drowning in silence; when doubts and darkness where swallowing up all the sounds; when the poison in your heart and in your head numbed your senses and your body; when you were paralyzed by the idea that nothing you could do was enough, that you were not enough.
When you lost your words and your mind, Hoseok was there to talk you through it and calm your thoughts. When you lost your voice, Hoseok was there to help you find the strength to scream. And when your heart was too cold to feel, Hoseok enveloped you in his warmth and showed you how to cry.
And when you were collapsed on the floor, stripped and bare and raw, Hoseok lifted you up and took you in his arms; and he danced around in the living room with one arm around your waist and the other holding onto your hand as if he was never going to let you go; and he sang your favorite song at the top of his lungs to chase the last of the darkness and the silence away, until your space, yours and his and you and him, was filled with nothing but his voice and your laughter.
And sometimes he would sing louder than usual, gladly accepting a burden that wasn’t his to bear, if it meant that you could escape the silence a day, an hour, a second longer this time.
Jung Hoseok was loud.
But when he was silent it was when he was holding you at night, his arms tightly wrapped around his most precious reason to laugh harder and be stronger than everyone else; for you, anything for you, and he would close his eyes and whisper, because he knew he would be heard over the silence;
I love you, and I will always be here for you.
A/N: If any of you ever need someone, I’m here to dance with you.
