I have come to terms with my thoughts, my shit is heavy. These drugs every night are heavy. Using this experience, I gotta understand the lack of perspective I show and feel to the ones I supposedly care towards. I wasn't there when she needed me, my ego, social anxiety, anger issues clouded my thoughts. At what point do I find someone who can understand this? I'm just an asshole probably. I break girls hearts trying to sculpt them, in reality some I should of probably never pursued them. That's who I am, silver linings in every situation. Always horrible taste in picking them ofc. I'm not static, I can better myself through every situation. Normal people lose someone all the time; I feel normal, for once. Shits tough, God give me strength.