I’m sorry you are having a rough day. I know that depression can really knock you down, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it was a year ago, and I hope you can see that. You have come so far and worked so hard, and now is not the time to give up.
Give yourself permission to feel depressed. There is no shame in it. Some days, you are going to feel this way, and that’s okay. It’s in your brain chemistry, unfortunately, but what matters is how you react to it. I know it seems easier on these days to use behaviors and give in, but you know that won’t help you in the long run.
You are so strong, Sandy. Look at where you are now compared to where you were a year ago, sick and in the hospital. Dying. You are coming back to life, and it’s amazing. Yeah, these days will make you feel like you haven’t accomplished much, but your rational side knows that isn’t true. You’ve come so far, and will get to the finish line sooner than you think.
You can do this, love. I believe in you.