Commission for James-Foxtaur on DeviantArt, featuring Redski! For those wondering about the context, it’s an in-joke between the commissioner and the owner of the character. :B
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
A gift requested by @redski
Description: When a big, beautiful gem walks into The Big Donut, Lars is struck by Cupid's arrow.
To the outside observer or the oblivious vacationer, Beach City would appear as a small and calm beachside town. Nothing unusual, nothing out of the ordinary. Just a quiet place that, for some reason, nobody had moved to in several years. Of course, finding work was a challenge, and why struggle in a small town full of family owned businesses when you could live in the next town over, or bustling Empire City? Come to think of it, Beach City wasn't really much of a city. Perhaps the original founders had had delusions of grandeur that never came to fruition.
"LARS! SADIE!" Steven ran in the door of The Big Donut. Sadie looked up from where she was stocking behind the counter, and Lars woke up from where he was sleeping on the counter. Steven rushed to the front of the shop as he frequently did when he entered this establishment, slamming his hands down in front of Lars.
"I want you to meet the newest Crystal Gem!" He grinned wildly. Lars stood up with a disgusted noise at house loud and invasive of his personal space Steven had been. "Dun duh dah duh!"
"How many moms does this kid have?" Lars whispered to Sadie.
Behind Steven, a woman followed, the likes of which Lars had never seen. She was so tall she had to duck through the doorway, and when she stood up, Lars was surprised to find that she looked about a head taller than Steven's tallest mom. She glanced around the small shop, a disgruntled expression plastered on her face. Her mood seemed to match up perfectly opposite to that of Steven.
"This is Jasper!" The young half gem exclaimed.
Lars' eyes went wide as he gazed upon the huge, looming beauty that had just graced his place of employment. She was like no woman he'd ever seen. Towering, buff, with hands that looked like they could crush his head like it was a melon. There was something irresistible about her.
Sadie was unphased. She'd been working here for years, and in the more recent months she'd seen a lot more weird stuff happening in Beach City. It kind of all started after the first time Steven showed up to buy donuts. Maybe Ronaldo was right. Maybe there was more going on in Beach City than everyone was aware of. Not that it really mattered to her, so long as could keep her job. "Hey Jasper!" she offered a friendly smile.
The lanky boy next to her continued to not say anything, although he had started to stammer. Sadie pushed past him so she could attend to the customers. "What can I get for you two?" Lars' babbling was quickly getting on her nerves, so she turned around and gave him a swift punch in the arm. That seemed to snap the red head back to reality.
"What can we get for you?" He leaned over the counter in the same way he did when the cool kids came calling, trying to appear smooth and composed.
"I already asked that, Lars." Sadie said, through gritted teeth.
Steven had seen these antics many times before, so the lack of professionalism didn't bother him. "A dozen donuts, please!" He slapped down some cash excitedly.
Sadie turned and began to fill a box with assorted donuts. Lars continued to dreamily stare up at Jasper, who had joined Steven at the counter.
"So… come here often?" He asked.
"Nope!" Steven shook his head. "Jasper came from space. Her ship crash landed here, and then she got trapped in a gem fusion, and then she beat up Amethyst, but then-"
"Steven!" Lars rudely interrupted, glaring at him. "I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to..." He looked up, taking in the majesty of the perfect quartz gem once again. "...her." He sighed, becoming lost in Jasper's beauty as soon as his eyes averted to her again.
"DO NOT SPEAK TO THE QUARTZ CHILD IN THAT TONE!" Jasper slammed a fist on the counter. Lars was surprised it didn't crack under the force she seemed to have exerted.
Lars felt very frightened and very warm all at once. "I'm, uh, I'm very sorry ma'am." He tugged at his collar, afraid that that fist might be coming for his face next, and yet for some reason eager for her touch anyway.
"Ah, it's okay, Jasper! Lars is my friend. That's just how he jokes around." Steven said cheerily, gently tugging her fist off the countertop.
"Here you go, Steven." Sadie placed the box on the counter, shoving past Lars and his frightened stare.
"Thanks Sadie!" He snagged the box and headed over to one of the tables. Jasper gave Lars one last glare, before following silently behind.
Once they sat down, Jasper started quietly asking Steven questions about donuts and food and eating. He kept glancing over to Lars for the first several minutes, but seemed to eventually tire of it and focused on Steven's explanations.
Sadie sighed and started to clean up around the shop, but Lars stayed where he was. He couldn't believe that someone so gorgeous, so perfect, had just waltzed right into his place of work. Nothing interesting ever happened in Beach City, so what could have brought such a lovely, strapping lady to this dump of a place?
Steven. How did that kid get to be lucky enough to hang out with someone so alluring? It wasn't fair! Lars just had to get her phone number. Steven probably had it. Lars dreaded the thought of having to talk to that annoying kid, but he knew sacrifices sometimes had to be made in order to get the digits of a hot babe.
Lars watched intently as the giant woman started shoveling the dozen donuts into her mouth. Her long, fluffy, luscious hair cascaded past her shoulders. Lars wondered what it would be like to run his spindly fingers through it. Man, she had quite an appetite. Judging from her figure, she probably worked out. Maybe he would be able to watch her routine sometime.
When Jasper had finished, she swiped a hand across her face and let out a loud belch.
I like a lady that's not afraid to speak her mind. Lars thought.
Then she took the donut box between both hands and crushed it into a small round pile of cardboard.
God I wish that were me. He sighed dreamily, eyes still not leaving the huge orange woman still seated across from Steven.
Steven made a motion like he was shooting a basketball, and then Jasper took the wanded mess of the donut box and tossed it across the Big Donut and right into a trash can. He and Steven laughed at that for some reason, and then the pair high fived.
As they were getting up, Steven called out, "Bye Lars! Bye Sadie!"
"Bye Steven!" Sadie called back.
"Steven, WAIT!" Lars yelled out. Jasper had already made her exit, but Steven's hand still rested on the door.
"Yeah Lars?" He asked, confused.
Lars silently motioned for the boy to come closer. Steven glanced out the door towards Jasper, and Lars hissed, "Steven!" beginning to motion more fervently and with both hands.
Steven did as Lars indicated. "Can you get me that girls phone number?" He whispered when Steven was within earshot.
"I told you Lars, she came from space." The boy answered gleefully. "She doesn't have a phone. But you can call her at my house."
"She's staying with YOU?" Lars spluttered incredulously.
"Yep! And she's waiting for me. Catch you later, Lars!" He called back as he left The Big Donut.
Lars hopped up on the counter so he could sit down and process what he had just witnessed. A hot babe, the hottest babe in all the summers he'd spent in Beach City, was hanging out with Steven Universe. Not only that, but they appeared to be friends. She was staying at his house. She'd defended him- well, actually, she wouldn't be the first person to defend Steven from Lars himself. But that wasn't the point! Lars just had to find a way to get to know her. He had to find a way to get that bulky babe to hang off his arm. Well, he could probably hang off of hers with the muscles she was sporting.
