#reginald rogers

[anewnewcrest]

From Reginald Rogers' Prayer Journal

I've been away from home for so long, and life is still hard. So hard. I'm working with a construction company in San Sequoia now, living with more roommates than I can count because I can't afford anything in this city, and I feel so lonely. There is no faith here and no community, everyone is out for themselves, and while it was hard at home, too, at least I wasn't alone. I feel like such a failure here, but I was a failure at home, too, and I can't go back to my parents' house when I am supposed to be a man. When I'm supposed to make enough money to provide for a family, and I can't even provide for myself. The most I've been able to do by scrimping and eating ramen and my roommates' leftovers is saving up some money to send back, because the money I took from Randolph, from our shared savings, it still haunts me. I hope the Watcher and my brother can forgive me.

[anewnewcrest]

Leanne: "I'm so worried about Reggie!"

Ashley: "Have mom and dad heard anything from him?"

Leanne: "I... I overheard them talking about it in the evening. They haven't heard, and dad has said he has disowned him."

Ashley: "What does that even mean?"

Leanne: "I think that he wouldn't even take Reggie back if he came back."

Ashley: "But he's our brother! And they always tell us how we need to forgive and forget!"

Leanne: "But he has also sinned against the Watcher, and against our parents. I understand how they cannot forgive him for that."

Ashley: "At least he's free. Can't say that about us."

Leanne: "Ashley! Our parents are protecting us!"

Ashley: "Yeah, right."

Meanwhile...

RRog: So you're saying my brother was seduced away from the truth by the liberal coastal elites?

CooperRebel: Yes! And of course, by that false faith your parents adhere to! It's not your brother's fault that he didn't have a proper foundation for his beliefs, that he wasn't properly raised and protected against indoctrination...

[anewnewcrest]

From Reginald Roger's Prayer Journal

I am lost. I am so lost. My whole life, I always thought that I knew the truth, about everything. Life, the Watcher, the heathens who surround us. How to be a man, how to provide, how to work, how to live, how to pray. And now I'm sitting here in San Myshuno at the wharf and I don't know... I don't know anything.

I can't get work. I only get hired for things that don't pay, not even fast food restaurants want me, I went to a church and they tossed me out for loitering, I'm hungry. I'm alone. Not even the Watcher is watching over me anymore now. I thought I had to leave and then I could get anything I want, do anything I want. I thought I could be free. And now I'm homeless, living out of my backpack, trying to survive. My father was always talking about the umbrella of protection, and I thought that was a load of rubbish because he wasn't protecting us from anything... but now I know. The bad things he told me about? They're happening to me now.

I want to go back. I want to go back so badly, but... I can't. I can't face my family. I can't go back to being yelled at, screamed at, controlled, demeaned. And so I'll do what I was always taught I have to do when tempted: I will resist, and I will remove the temptation from my life. San Sequoia sounds like it is far enough away. It's far away, isn't it?

[anewnewcrest]

San Myshuno, Fashion District

"What do you mean, you don't need me? I have the advertisement right here!"

"I'm looking for a bookkeeper, not some boy fresh off the farm who can't even read properly!"

"But why can't you give me a chance?"

"Why should I give you a chance?"

"I'm sure I'll learn quickly, and keeping books can't be that hard? I did well with books when I was homeschooled."

"Are you for real? Do you even know what a bookkeeper is?"

"He... keeps... books?"

"Stop wasting my fucking time already. The restaurant across the street needs dishwashers, maybe try that."

"But that's women's work!"

"Stupid and sexist is not a good combination, do you know that? Anyway, good luck with that."

"But..."

"In case you hadn't noticed, that was an invitation to fuck off. Some of us here have work to do."

[anewnewcrest]

"Gone? What do you mean, Frank, he's GONE?"

"Reggie slipped away like a thief in the night, the little coward! I found this note on his bed."

"A note? But Reggie can't leave with just a note, he has to say goodbye to his mama! To his siblings!"

"He can't leave at all! I'm his father, I FORBID IT!"

"Oh, my poor baby... I hope he'll be all right."

Later, after Randolph is alone...

"I can't believe it! He stole all of our savings!"

[anewnewcrest]

Dear mom and dad,

please know that you've done nothing wrong and I love you very much. It's just that I now need to find my own way in the world, and become my own man, and I can't do that while I'm under your umbrella of authority.

I love all of you very much and will talk to you as soon as I'm settled, wherever I end up. All my siblings, too. And don't worry.

And please, tell Randolph that I'm sorry and that I'll pay him back.

Reginald Rogers

[anewnewcrest]

From Reginald Rogers' Prayer Journal, torn out and burnt in the family fire pit

Watcher, please, give me your grace! It's bad enough that Mr Miller rejected me, and I didn't even get to talk to Rose about it, or get down on one knee to ask her to court me... but he also made me doubt everything I ever believed about dad, or my family. With just a few words! Dad always said he was a respected man at our church, and when people looked at us kids weird, I just thought it was because we did something wrong. And then... and after I left there, I was so confused, so I went to our pastor, and Mr Johnson said that dad was a liar and a grifter who tried to steal from him, and that it's only through the Watcher's grace that we're still allowed at his church. And that nobody was surprised when he went to prison because he's a nuisance and doesn't know when to quit.

All the times mom yelled at us to submit, all the times dad told us we were not good enough and not trusting him enough and not trusting the Watcher enough... and I believed all of it. And now... now I'm doubting, and he might be wrong, and... I... the thought is so terrifying, so painful, I can't even go there. They must be right? Surely they must be right, like Randy says. I don't know.

All I know is that I love Rose, and that I need to become a man worthy of her affection and her father's respect, no matter what my own father says. A husband has to leave and cleave, the Book says that, and I can't become a man who's good enough for Rose if I stay here, with mom and dad. So I might as well just leave now, and make something of myself, and then I can come back and ask her to marry me. When I have a job, and maybe a little house for us, and a way to provide for her and give her the world, like she deserves. I'm sure mom and dad and Randy will understand.

(A/N: Poor boy is just trying to rationalize yeeting himself out of his family like a bat from hell any way he can).

[anewnewcrest]

"Daddy, I'm so sorry! I don't know what I did to make poor Reginald stumble, I swear I didn't talk to him at church, or lead him on! I didn't do anything and I'll try to be more modest and dress more modestly, daddy, I'm so sorry, please don't be mad..."

"Rose, sweetie, you didn't do anything wrong. You did exactly what you were supposed to do, you let me handle the young man."

"Really?"

"Really. Now, I have just one more question for you: Do you like Reginald? Like that?"

"No, no, of course not! I swear I'm not having sinful, lustful thoughts! Not about him, or about any boy! I don't even want to get married right now, I just want to stay at home and serve you and my siblings and the Watcher, even though mom says I have to put myself out there, but I don't want to do that? What if I make a young man stumble? Or a married man? I'd be sinning!"

"Oh, Rosie."

"Reggie, are you crying?"

"No, no, of course not."

"Good, because crying is for babies and sissies!"

"It... it didn't go well with Mr Miller."

"Why? Is Rose courting someone else?"

"No... he rejected me! He said horrible things about dad, and he called me a failure!"

"What a liar! Dad is the best dad in the world, and he has such a moving testimony!"

"I... I don't know..."

"You can't doubt him! He is our father!"