Hey check out my videos if you love to see dumb bitches on the internet (me)

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Hey check out my videos if you love to see dumb bitches on the internet (me)
I’m satired of living
Friend: What's your favorite scene in Haikyuu?
me: The part with Oikawa
Friend: ... Which one?
me: All
Friend:... that's not really-
me: ALL
Sorry for a rant but, Lately my self confidence has been going down to an all time low.... So low that i feel that compliments are just lies from people who pity me... but when i look back and reflect i can see part way why I'm like this... first off when i was 3 years old (ya 3) my doctor told me i was fat... at 3... i didn't care at the time though. But eventually o kept gaining weight. I was never the skinniest child but quiet fat to be frank. And I've grown in a household where i get made fun of for my weight or called fat everyday. And then my parents question why i have self confidence issues. But continuing, even now i can't accept compliments,,, i feel like thy are lies, even when other kids call me fat i agree and say 'yep thanks for telling me something i already knew' :-)' and i hate how i look and everything about me.... i feel like every time someone glances at me I'm instantly judged on how i look, and every snicker will be used against me, and every laugh around me i s about me in some way. And when ever i walk outside my self confidence goes from -2 TO -10.... soo, idk what i should do and this sucks, half the time is hard for me to even see my friends...... soo if y'all have any suggestions I'd appreciate it a lot, just message me :-) tanks and sorry for the rant..,