#relationshop

[sad-n-wholesome-blog]

no cap

[backtohaven]

Audrey Parker. Duke Crocker

202:  Fear & Loathing

[skarabeus]

When you enjoy sarcastic passive-aggresive flirting in a game but you freak out and/or backflip in dismay when:

1. A colleague of any gender asks you if you have a boyfriend.

2. You are confronted by your family if you already have a boyfriend.

3. Even your grandmother starts suspecting you are a lesbian: C’mon, at least a girlfriend!

[coloursong]

[eatliveescape]

Romantic Escapes in Istanbul: Where History Meets Hassle-Free Travel

Some trips are about fun. Others are about rest. But some are about feeling close to someone you care about. When you travel as a couple, the place you choose matters. You want to be somewhere that gives you time, not pressure. A good trip is not just what you see, it’s also about how you feel while you’re there. This city gives you the chance to enjoy simple, real moments. It has a calm pace,…

Romantic Escapes in Istanbul: Where History Meets Hassle-Free Travel

[dawnleaf37]

if you ship my ocs.... im fucking stealing something out of your house !!!!!!!!!!

[flammanota-blog]

Self love

My dear friend...

You are so afraid of people leaving you. You think that anyone could just blindside you and leave you behind like nothing. But, I find it difficult to believe anyone would do that unless they are a sociopath.

First: You did not maintain proper communication with them. They were probably hurting for a long time, but you just shrugged it off. I do not know if that was you not being observational or afraid to confront the problem. But, without channels of communication, then the relationship was already destined to fail, just on that alone.

Second: You feel like an outsider. You feel like you have to prove to others your worthiness to take up space, earning your place. You know you should not have to. But, being perpetually challenged, makes one develop that, I can see that.

Third: Your drive, your ambition, your success. It scares people, it intimidates them. If they are not certain of themselves or grounded in their own existence, they will be swept away, overwhelmed by your intensity. You told me that you felt like you were the only one growing in the relationship. That is very well what they felt too, that they were not matching your pace. Perhaps you deserved better than them. You never placed that burden on them yourself though. You do not expect that of them. But, just when they see that in you, it makes them feel insecure and that is not your fault. And like many before, you felt you have outgrown them. Little do they know, ironically, you are just as every bit unsure of yourself as they are. But, how could they believe that? You have everything better than them, you are just saying that to make them feel better. Yet, you are just being you. You never intended for this to create a gap, but it is there nonetheless. But, that is on them to figure out, not your job.

You are a perfectionist, but to what end? It is impossible to please everyone. You are just setting yourself up for disappointment. But, I think there is more. You perhaps think that if you were perfect enough, someone would have to love you. That if you gave them no reason not to love you, that you could earn their endless affection and eternal love, as long as you were perfect enough.

Fourth: You cannot expect others to provide you comfort, stability, support, or love. You have to be the well from which those are derived for yourself. When you learn to provide for yourself can you truly provide for others. Both partners need to “pay into” the relationship. When you do not have love for yourself then, you are going into “love debt”. The love in a relationship should just be the icing on the cake, not the cake itself. In the same vein, no one is obligated to reciprocate your feelings, your interest, or your hope. You just have to be so full of love for yourself that it does not even bother you if someone decides to not stay around from the get go. If they do not appreciate you for who you are from the beginning, then it would be a waste of time for both of you to continue. You have to be the thing that grounds them, not mutual friends, same work space, or some other externalities. Your confidence, steadfast belief, and love for yourself is what will draw them in. You know, that feeling when see or hear someone who is so passionate about something they love. That, is what will keep them around, and if they cannot see or appreciate that, then you are better off without them.

Fifth: Just be unapologetically you. You cannot go through your life living someone else’s idea of how you should exist, only you can know that. So stop selling yourself short, undercutting who you are to satisfy the whims of others. When you do that, you are at the core, betraying yourself. If the people around you cannot find it in themselves to see you for who you truly are and accept that, they have no business being apart of your life. What right do they have to drag you down together with their own insecurities about who they are? It is scary to be alone, but being at peace with yourself is monumentally better than being together with people who are only trying to impose themselves onto you. Seeking the cheap trinkets of approval from others only serve to make you feel better about yourself temporarily. Instead, you build that from within, with a true and steady foundation. Approval and love of yourself will be consistent and permanent, unshakable. If being you scares other people away, do not make any concessions. You do not lower yourself to their level, they have to level up to match you. You move on, till you do find someone who can truly appreciate the majesty and wonder that is within you. But, you need to see that for yourself first, otherwise you would not believe it even if someone else did. Forgive yourself, give yourself permission to exist, to be happy. Stand firm for yourself. Commit to yourself, for you are the only real constant in your life.

[flammanota-blog]

Trust

In a relationship, both sides need to place a blind trust in each other and be vulnerable, opening themselves up and risking being hurt by each other. That is the only way to maintain a healthy relationship. If one is constantly on guard and questioning the motive behind everything the other is doing, the other will feel estranged and a gap widening between each other. It needs to be understood that even though one side has the capability of greatly harming the other, they would not do so out of their love for the other. If that is not enough to convince both sides, then the relationship will be ripped apart. Being vulnerable is what allows people to be closer together. Suspicion will only serve to keep others at bay and deny true connection. However, at the same time, a certain degree of doubt is also required, otherwise one would be taken advantage of. The inability to establish trust will undermine any feelings toward each other, through the constant doubt of whether the intentions are true or under an ulterior motive. With that, a relationship would cease to grow and could never progress to its full potential.