The bee in my bonnet this afternoon is the idea that a thing is never our fault at any age under any circumstances if we were not taught better. This has been said in a variety of contexts: at some point, the lack of knowledge or skill is due to your current circumstances and your choices.
You don't know how to change the oil in your car because you were never taught? Are you an adult of some reasonable adult-ish age? Then not being taught is no longer the reason.
This is not to say that there are no reasons to not know how to change the oil in your car. If you have someone else change your oil, don't have a car, or just junk out the car every time it breaks because you never change the oil, that's fine! Maybe you don't know changing the oil is an option. Maybe you don't think it will actually prolong the life of your car. That's okay! As long as you are satisfied with how that works for you and are not harming anyone else, you don't need to learn how to change your oil.
And maybe you don't have the easy opportunity to learn. It's cost prohibitive, no one around you knows how, you simply can't take the time or the risk changing your own oil would entail. That's not okay, but it's still not solely the fault of whoever you thought should have taught you, and it's not the responsibility of everyone around you to change the oil for you or to make you learn how to change your own oil.
You have agency. You are not only and solely a recipient of what others want to teach you. Circumstances may not align in your favor, but the responsibility to change those circumstances does not lay solely at the feet of others.
