Burnout
The MC pushes herself a little too hard studying for OWLs and Draco is worried- wolfstar daughter in Ravenclaw, dating Draco
CW: Hints of depression, mostly fluff and comfort
Draco and I had just had a peaceful night in the prefects bathroom. We were leaving so Draco could go do his nightly rounds. “Guess I’ll patrol Ravenclaw towers first, make sure you get back with no problems”, he says, smirking.
I roll my eyes. “What a gentleman.”
We get to the Ravenclaw tower and he gives me one last and kiss. “Goodnight pretty girl. Get lots of sleep. Still want to study tomorrow night?”
That’s when the wonderful reality of out approaching OWLs hits me. I sigh. “I suppose.” He could sense my change in attitude towards the conversation. He lifted my chin and rubbed his thumb up and down my jaw.
“Hey, its gonna be okay. You’re gonna do great on all your OWLs love. You’ve nothing to worry about. We’ll sit down and work out what to study first, yeah? Don’t you start worrying yet. I know how you get when you’re stressed and I don’t need you like that this early on.”
I can see the worry in his eyes. He’s being so genuine. I know I can get insufferable to be around when I’m stressed. I don’t want to worry him. I smile for him. “Don’t worry. I’m okay. Now go do your rounds Mr. Prefect.”
What I didn’t tell Draco was I had already started studying. Weeks ago. I had been going to the library before breakfast and after dinner while he was at Quidditch practice. I was a perfectionist. Nothing could be done half way. It was exhausting. I knew the lack of sleep and over-consumption of caffeine would catch up with me soon, so I had to stop going to see Papa for tea at nighttime.
Papa started noticing something was wrong when I started showing up to his classes with messy hair and visible bags under my eyes. I had told him I was participating in study groups at night and that’s why I couldn’t come visit. Easy enough to believe. But the real reason I didn’t want to go to him was because I knew if I spent enough one on one time with him, he would likely catch on that I was exhausting myself, and then he’d write home to dad, and I just didn’t want to worry anyone. It was much easier on everyone involved if, in the coming weeks, I went to the library earlier and later than everyone else, and spent the rest of my time in my dorm. This went on for about three weeks. I could tell Draco was worried. I did my best to conceal the bags under my eyes, and told him I was asked to study with some Ravenclaw friends most days so I could hide out in my dorm.
Most days I was upset Draco and I weren’t in the same house. Lately though, its been a godsend. My dorm has been my safe haven, away from my worrisome brother, dad, and boyfriend. I didn’t have many Ravenclaw friends, so I didn’t much care what state they saw me in.
About two weeks until OWLs, and I hadn’t seen Draco, or my brother, or my Papa in about three days. I was cooped up in my dorm, surviving off of coffee, energy drinks, and snacks. I knew I was hurting my body but I didn’t care. I needed to study, But I should have known if I didn’t make an appearance at some point, someone would come looking. Draco was the first to do that.
I had been up most of the night studying, and was planning on taking a little nap before my final Charms class. I was a bit restless form all the caffeine, so I decided to take a sleeping pill. That was a mistake. Because I didn’t wake up in a little bit like I was supposed to. When Charms came and I wasn’t there, Draco was instantly worried. I wouldn’t miss the final review on the class I was most worried about. He sat through the class and took notes for both of us. Then he decided to come find me.
He checked the library, and when I wasn’t there he even swallowed his gigantic ego and asked my brother. His last resort was to see if I was with Papa. When Papa assured Draco he hadn’t seen me in quite some time either, Draco decided he needed to get in my dorm. He stood there for a while trying to solve the riddle but he couldn’t. He was so frustrated, he pulled the first first year he had seen over to the door to let him in.
“You’re a Slytherin, you can’t come in here!”
“Well, I’m also a prefect, and am quite skilled with my hexes, so I suggest you answer the damn riddle and open that door for me right now, yeah?”
Once he was in, he headed for the fifth-year girls’ dormitory. That’s where he found me, passed out on top of my four poster, splayed on top of sheets of homework, surrounded by empty red bulls, coffee cups, and protein bars. His eyes went to the bottle of sleeping pills beside my bed. I had purposely not told him I was taking those.
“Oh Genevieve…” he said, and went to my side. He moved some hair from my eyes, and he could feel how greasy it was. I hadn’t showered in days. He rubbed my arm and I slowly woke up. When I realized it was him I sat upright, causing me to get dizzy. My head hurt. I don’t remember the last time I drank water.
“Draco? How did you get in here? What time is it? I have to get to Charms.”
I went to move but Draco kneeled in front of me and grabbed my shoulders hard. He said to me, more stern than I’ve ever heard him before.
“Gen, Charms was over half an hour ago. Is this why you’ve been avoiding me? So I wouldn’t see you like this?”
“Draco, I’m fine, don’t wo-“
“Genevieve I swear to fucking Merlin if you tell me not to worry I’m going to lose my shit. Of course I’m fucking worried. Look at you. Look at your room. You’ve pushed yourself too hard this time. You need a break. No more studying, no more coffee. You’re going to be sick. When’s the last time you ate?”
I try so hard not to cry. “A couple hours ago.”
“I mean more than a protein bar. When’s the last time you went to the Great Hall?”
My lip quivers. “I…a couple days ago.”
Draco hangs his head and grabs my hands. “Baby, none of this is going to help you with your exams. You need to take care of yourself. You’re taking sleeping meds? Do your dads know?”
This is when the tears start to flow, and I slowly shake my head. “No, I just wanted to take them because I’m just so tired but can never sleep. Please don’t tell Papa. I’ll stop, I promise. I’m sorry Draco. I didn’t want you to see me like this. I just want to do well on my OWLs.”
The tears sting my eyes. I’m so exhausted. I wrap my arms around Draco and kneel on the floor with him, falling into his embrace. I just cry, and he just lets me. I say in between sobs, “I can’t fail Draco, I can’t…I can’t fail…” He rocks me back and forth, holding my head to his chest and whispers to me, “You’re not gonna fail. But you’re gonna be sick Gen. You need to take a break. I think maybe we should go see your Papa first, yeah? He’s worried about you Gen.” I shake my head immediately. “Not like this. I don’t want him worried.”
Draco sighs. “Gen, he should be worried. You’re gonna be burnt out soon.” He can tell I’m not gonna budge so he sighs again. “How about you shower, we go get some food, and then go speak to him?” I contemplate for a moment, then nod slowly. “Okay. Will you stay here while I shower?”
“Wasn’t planning on leaving you alone for quite a while. Go shower, I’ll find you some clean clothes.” We stand up, and he gives me a long hug, and whispers in my ear. “No more hiding out in your dorm okay? Gave me a scare. I know you don’t want me to worry but I always will.”
He kisses my cheek and wipes my tears. “Now go shower,”
I let out a small smile, grab my towel, and head to the Ravenclaw showers. As soon as the hot water hit my body I felt like a whole other person. I washed my face and hair and felt so refreshed. While I was showering, Draco cleaned up my dorm for me, picking up all the balled up pieces of paper, empty coffee cups, and wrappers. He uses a spell to change my bedsheets, which clearly needed to be washed, and he put all my dirty clothes in a hamper. By the time I came out of the shower, he was sitting on my freshly made bed, playing with his wand, beside him, freshly folded Hogwarts robes. He stood up when I came in the room, and came towards me to give me a kiss.
“Feel better?”
“Loads. Thank you. You didn’t need to clean my room for me.” I felt horrible. Draco’s likely never cleaned anything in his life.
“Yes I did. Because you needed my help. It’s okay to ask for it Gen. You’re allowed. I want you to. Okay?”
I slightly nod and lean my head on his chest, as he whispers into my hair, “I got you. I’m not letting you do this alone.”
