Truly thank you for those who gave me encouraging words and advice.
It did make me feel better knowing that I'm not a bad person nor should I feel that way because of someone's point of view or opinion.
Update..... We talked about it last night. And it made me feel soo much better because we got to really say what we both had to say. I was relieved that he even got to talk to his brother about it because he even understands my part. He even said that eventually I'd get over this stage, and I will. It's not like I'm going out often... Because I do not! It's not like I have extra pills on the side for "just in case". I do want to go to the rave at the end of this month at The Venue and Haunted in October. It's not even that I'm in need to roll. Not at all. I love the environment and the vibe. But we'll see when the time gets closer. I am not even going to hide anything from him because I don't need to and I don't even want to. I really hope that he won't be mad or disappointed in whatever decisions I make because I know this thing is an issue for him that turns him off.