#renediaz

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[akosirenediaz-blog]

Once I begged God for some more understanding because some things are just pretty hard to understand... Religion for example...

Diverse religions compose the world. I thought living in a world like such would make it hard for me to defend my faith, my God. Salvation in a Buddhist’s point of view may be similar to that of a Muslim yet always would there be difference in other aspects of it. I have always been very assertive of the things that I believed in; of those things that even if are not scientifically proven, still, to me are facts. I am not vying for a saintly title nor planning to enter priesthood but I do not think that I should have any motives behind me to stand my ground to preserve my faith, to defend my God. My very existence is my concrete proof for his being existent. I am not worthy of the life bestowed upon me but still he breathe life unto me and gave me essence. Because of him, I was born, and unto his hands, I commend my life.

                I was in high school then when I first encountered such hardships in expressing my faith as a fully-fledged Aglipayan, a faction of the Roman Catholic Church. I was surrounded by Protestants. We all believed in the Heavenly Father, in His Son, and in the Holy Spirit. We might have the same denominator yet in some other pieces of this faith that we have, there are still loads of difference; massive loads of it actually. In time, I was able to cope with it. We all went out fine. Respect for one’s beliefs made it possible. I thought that was it; I’ve already mastered the art of tolerance of “the beliefs other than my beliefs” but I was dead wrong. It was when I was in college that I begged to my God for some more understanding.

                Let us call him Nick*. Not really sure why I want to call him Nick*. Nick*… I like the sound of that. Well, we are good friends. I guess, I knew him pretty well. He is a very good guy. He was never ashamed of pouring out himself to others. He is deep, pretty smart, and nice to be with. But just recently, I felt dazed by what he said. I never really expected him to say such. Me and our other friends are talking about our philosophies and our beliefs, our faith, and our God. He came out of the blue and butted out, “Oh, nonsense! That God of yours doesn’t really exist!”. And we were like “What the hell is wrong with you?!”. I guess that was his conclusion about our topic on philosophies, beliefs, faith, and God. He is clearly a non – believer.

                We had a lot of arguments; and all of which are pretty bloody. I bombed him this, and he bombed me back with that. He has his reasons and I have mine. I tried to ask my God for answers for I really can’t understand. I want to be conscientious towards his beliefs, his having no faith, his having no God but I just cannot get it.

                I asked myself, what was more  difficult; dealing with people of different religion or being with a non – believer. For me, being with a non – believer certainly. I know I would sound judgemental here and that you guys might go like “Oh! Maybe he’s pretty awesome, judging a person by his viewpoints in life? Get lost!” but I have committed myself to my beliefs and to that I will die. I will live my life defending what I think is right.

                Nick* and I are still good friends. Faith and friendship are different stories. We are friends with contradicting perspectives but we never let those things get on the way. His notions are only a part of him and that does not give him his full sharpness and clarity so as me and my philosophies in life. What I believed in does not define me as person. So how do we define a person then? For me, it depends upon the modifier. What I mean to you is different from what I mean to him. But if we tend to look at things deeper, giving explanations to each and every thing won’t make any sense. It’s like defining an architectural design by angles and lines yet it won’t do this piece of art justice because this form of art was made for beauty and not to be critically scrutinized for mistakes and imperfections. Life is as simple as that, I guess.