Hello dearest ~ First, I hope your shift has gone well and been stress free. And next, I hope you receive this, as I still have access to tumblr mobile only. I plan to go to Barnes & Noble on Saturday to see if I can use my laptop to get on tumblr--at which time I can properly reply to your latest Ask. Answering on my phone has been dodgy, which accounts for the delay.
I did see (and rebloged with my thoughts) your post calling yourself a 'disaster'. I must protest! Your heart is evident in everything you create, and that's the farthest thing from disaster. Trust your instincts and the family you have gathered to yourself; think of us as the cream of the crop that will always have eyes and hearts to appreciate your works.
That's all for now, I suppose. Sending all my love, as ever!
V 🥰💖💜💙🤗
Thank you so much, sweet flower 💮
Admitted, it is very hard for me to own up to the fact that I am hard on myself and that I need to curb my thoughts when it comes to my self-deprecation. Of course, you and my darling fledglings have all become so important to me when it comes to my writings and my art. There are just days where it is harder for me to remind myself of this than others. When I see works like yours and Baker's, I remember that I'm writing for a completely different crowd and it's hard to not be able to give your side of the fandom what you need to. I suppose this is one of the days when I feel like I'm letting people down, even though I know I'm not. The feedback issue has always been my handicap and even now I am truly still trying to fight it if I can. There are days when I am able to lasso the demon and put it back in the basement, but today it has been a real struggle that I'm not completely proud to admit to. I wonder sometimes if I overthink even my thinking process.
But regardless, I know that it is a part of myself. And even when I am at my lowest, the ones who truly care about me will be there to extend their hand and help me back up. I have found you, Harle, Icy, Fanartka, Sinister and so many other amazing people that have built me back up from the broken human being I was. You reunited me with Tony in my dreamscape by reminding me that it's okay to be in love with him and given me your endless support - for which I am eternally grateful and cannot put into words. I am trying to better myself a little more every day by remembering that all of you are here waiting for me to come back or post anything, (I find myself a bit humbled and embarrassed that you visit my page every day, but I admittedly do the same to yours, so I guess we're even, heh) and it truly does help. The real life struggles I have faced these last few weeks nearly did me in and I promise you, I will get better. I may try to post a GNReader and Stephen fic tomorrow if I can get all of the thoughts in my head down accordingly. I do hope you won't miss it, my dear. Be safe, also, while you are at Barnes and Noble, look for a book called "Storm Front" by Jim Butcher. If you don't know it already, I promise, you won't be disappointed. All my love,
- Steven 💜💜