So I actually work at a coffee shop lol... And uh... Keith just handling customers and machines in the most irritating way is such a mood™ like its really not as fun as people think and the whole 'Cheery Happy Joy Day Barista' is great but it's time for the 'I'm literally only here for the coin and the caffeine wtf do you want okay bye' Barista to shine
OKAY I’VE LITERALLY ONLY SEEN AN UNHAPPY BARISTA ONCE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND THAT WAS BECAUSE THEIR FREAKING GRANDMOTHER HAD DIED THAT DAY AND I JUST FEEL SO LIED TO??? Like no don’t tell me that bitch that ordered a double espresso, with mint and five pumps of vanilla, with a swirl of caramel, with lots of milk, but only soy milk cause shes got a sensitive stomach, and is ordering this complicated ass drink while on the phone didn’t just annoy the living shitfuck out of you. Like, I get annoyed watching it. How do the people who actually have to follow through with that fuckery keep fucking smiling?? I cannot fathom.
So of course, I imagined that Keith would be that barista who just had a long ass day (Every day) and just wants to make the fuckin coffee you ordered and doesn’t want to deal with your bullshit, doesn’t care about your sensitive stomach, and couldn’t give a goddamn fuck about your dog getting a thorn stuck in her paw (Well, he really would, but you sound so annoying complaining about all those vet bills and having an injured dog on your hands, that he just can’t help but pretend he doesn’t care).
And plus… That coin??? That coin is more important than your rant on how fuckin’ hot/cold/windy/wet/depressingly cloudy it is outside. He has shit to do. Move along.
I live for the brutally honest “I’m not dealing with this” attitude from baristas. I live for it.
