It’s getting really difficult to try and survive off of only my part time job, and because the fall semester is coming up and I’ll likely need money for books and so on, I’m going to have to open up commissions again. This is frustrating. On one hand, I want a new drawing tablet and more art supplies, but on the other I need the money to pay for school and supplies if needed. So... ughghghhghgghg
Yeah... I keep on opening and closing commissions too because:
I have no motivation to draw.
I’m worried that if I do continue to draw, it’ll only make my carpal tunnel worse and actually painful moreso than annoying.
Then again writing has the same effect, not just drawing. In conclusion: This sucks.
I hate my art and myself.
Most of my work is “expensive” because I literally need the money to help pay for living expenses at home. I’m trying to help support my family and I’m stressed because I’m not doing enough or contributing enough.
I’m just venting at this point and I’m in a self-criticizing/blaming mood.
I need to get a chromebook because I know that if I bring my current laptop out with me I’ll likely become a target to certain people to steal from because it’s just not safe out there (one of my biggest sources of anxiety is being by myself outside in the dark. I will p u n c h a personal-space invasive b i t c h in the throat).
help i need friends tht understand me irl and everyone drains my energy n i think it’s all my fault.
