A letter to Zanrethan Sunforge, August 4
The letter bears the seal of Lady Ilthyrii—the dagger-and-stars House Ilthyrii arms crossed with the phoenix crest of the Order—pressed in dark gray sealing wax. In neat, familiar handwriting on the front, it is addressed to Zanrethan Sunforge of the Order. The missive is written on good parchment in dark gray ink, bearing the scent of coffee, incense, and smoke.
Zan,
I’ve thought hard before beginning this letter, started and restarted it half a dozen times in the past few days—because it has only been in the past few days that I’ve decided to write it at all. I’ve not told anyone about running into you as it occurred to me that perhaps you didn’t want anyone to know. You didn’t say and I didn’t ask and that was a failing on my part, truth be told. In some ways, I suppose my thoughts were elsewhere.
As long ago as it was, I still remember the morning after we thought you lost. I went to the war room office and spread a black cloth over your desk. What I don’t remember is how long it stayed there, how long it was before we finally cleared it all, filed some things and packed the rest away. Every so often these days when I’m going through the oldest files and reports, I still find things in your handwriting. The ache eased some time ago but every so often, there’s been the pang, the regret. I suppose it will be even less, now, since I know you did survive to live in a world where that fight has ended, despite how many years you lost somewhere in between.
You should know that the files are all classified, now, though I doubt you’ve gone looking—why reopen a wound like that, after all? I haven’t inquired about the classification level though from what I understand, having talked to some others, the level is somewhere like “five meters above your ass”—and that came from a retired combat commander turned archivist with the Order. I don’t even know that I could access them, and many of the last reports, about the very ending of the Neverdark War—that’s what we’ve called it these past few years, now, since the final stages and the end of it—were in my hand. So many that you knew fell away or simply fell, never making it to the end.
We’re seated in the Everlight, now, those remnants of forces that made it to the end. Arius stepped down as Dragonhawk in favor of athair some time ago, and while about half the Council would prefer to not answer to Drimmari Dra’zar as their lord, they can’t deny the strength of his claim to the title. Still, I wonder how long he’ll remain in that position. For my part, I suspect that he’ll return the mantle to Arius at some point, possibly in the relatively near future, though I can’t be certain. The quiet speculation about who he’ll name his heir when it comes to the Dragonhawk Seat is a minor sport, I think, among the Houses of the Everlight and its people alike.
I know both far too much and not enough about the Everlight these days myself—keeping that promise I made to Fleur all those years ago, the one I made again to Arius is part of it, though it’s more now than I think I ever intended. Today as I sat at my desk in the war room at Dawn’s Reach, staring at the board of all the mysteries we’re trying to solve, all the problems we’re sorting through, all the information and we’ve gathered about a thousand things, I wondered.
Wondered, if you hadn’t been taken, would I be in that chair? Would I be his general now, commanding the Everlight’s forces?
Of course, I suppose it doesn’t matter, but it’s one of those things that strikes. It certainly doesn’t stop me from taking risks or making mistakes. I’m currently under orders from Tyr not to swing a blade for the next three days unless it’s a matter of life and death—he doesn’t want to have to do any additional healing for my collarbone and decided for once on the luxury of letting it heal a little more slowly, with more natural healing than the alternative.
There’s always a new mystery to unravel, isn’t there? Always a new challenge. Perhaps someday I’ll tell you more, if you’d like to know. If I’m able.
I’ve not even told my husband about running into you. He might have been distracted enough not to notice but I know better than to count on that. Odds are that he knows something happened, just not what. Someday I’ll tell you more about that, too.
I meant what I said about not being afraid. If you love her as it seems you do, and she loves you the same, then take the chance. She’ll think it’s perfect, no matter what you do.
Be well, my friend. My brother. Wyn.
[Addressed to: @zanrethan-sunforge ]
