Retired!Severus having a small potion store in Diagon Alley while he spends his time with his wife living on the Muggle World in peace. Retired!Severus who receives a call from Johnny, the 25 year old boy who just got married and is in charge of the store when Snape isn’t there, while you’re doing stuff away in the kitchen, his voice faintly in the backround.
He comes down the hallway as the call comes to an end to hang up and lay the phone on the countertop
“So? What did he tell you?”
“I couldn’t understand a thing he said, he was too busy trying to hold back the sounds from his wife blowing him while he spoke to me.”
“Oh…interesting.”
“I would be grossed out if it wasn’t for the fact that we also did that.”
“No one ever heard me.”
“That’s what we believe.”
“They’re just married, they probably get a kick out of it.”
“So did we.” His arms wrapped around your waist from behind
“You seem focused to compare them to us.”
“No,” he smiles against your hair “Nobody ever heard us.”