"And At Last, I See The Light." -Sanemi Shinazugawa x FEM!Reader.
Authors note: And we're back!! Im so excited to be writing non-work-related content again and I hope this first fic back is an enjoyable one! I love Sanemi and I also love his little detail of having lost his ability to see color and regaining it after the events of the final arc in the manga! So I got to thinking and thought of a scenario where someone else kickstarted his heart once again. Also as always, reposts and likes are GREATLY appreciated!!
Warnings: Swearing, mentions of Sanemi's backstory.
Word Count: 3.3k words.
No mentions of skin tone, hair color, or eye color!
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Training was always difficult, whether being a Mizunoto or a Hashira, but in recent weeks it seems the world was working against the demon slayer corps. Relentless training was going into every corps member despite the few results they were seeing. Everyone was on edge on top of the training, for they all had no clue when the next sign of upper moon demons would appear before them. Wake up, eat, train, try to unlock a slayer mark, sleep, and do it all again. That was all life seemed to be. Rather, that’s all life was to Sanemi.
His day was a constant repeat, with no variation and certainly no thrill. Waking up minutes before another greyscale sunrise, ignoring breakfast in favor of squeezing in a lone training session before dealing with his newest group of bratty teenagers, and ending the day at a meeting with the other Hashira where they all continued to complain about being unable to unlock marks. ‘How did Kamado do it?’ and ‘Maybe Tanjiro, Mitsuri, and Tokito can help unlock other marks!’ These were the only statements made in those hour-long meetings. And Sanemi would be the first to admit that it made him want to stab his eardrums out. The Kamados had some benevolent god in their corner, and the other two were freakishly powerful despite their smaller statures, yet he was the only one who seemed to notice it.
The wind Hashira let out a disgruntled sigh as he walked down the cobblestone stairs leading to a lone Soba restaurant only a few miles from his estate. It was one of his favorite places to frequent, though he would never utter that sentiment to another being for as long as he lived. Some people liked eating in the company of others, but it seemed he wasn’t born with the right of a friend to have dinner with. He used to love eating with Masachika or Kanae, but the gods didn’t like seeing someone with the last name Shinazugawa being happy, so they took them away. They took everything away. His friends, his family, and his color were no longer his. Instead, they were playthings for a higher being who took pleasure in seeing him miserable.
Sanemi stiffened as a crisp gust of wind brushed through his spiky hair, drawing the man from his thoughts with little effort. His eyes raised from the ground as he took in the world around him. Age-old ginkgo and wisteria trees surrounded the Hashira, their leaves swaying softly in the breeze, filling his nose with the sweet scent of the flowers belonging to the trees. He looked to his left, shielding his eyes as he was met with the light of the current setting sun; Sanemi looked away swiftly. He was sure it was a stunning sunset just by how bright it was. Maybe tonight it would be pink, or orange, maybe even purple. But it didn’t matter; to him, it was all grey. Everything was always grey and grim, and it always would be. Sanemi had accepted that fate from the moment his mother lay limp at his feet. He would never see color again, and he would never know the peace he witnessed others gain so simply. That was his burden, and it was one he carried with no argument.
“Shinazugawa!” A sudden voice called out from behind him, “Shinazugawa, is that you? What are you doing?” Sanemi didn’t need to turn around to know who that voice belonged to. It was a sweet voice, singsongy and perfectly pitched, and it could only belong to the one person in the demon slayer corps Sanemi had come to slightly tolerate. The flower Hashira, (Y/n) (L/n). He didn’t look over his shoulder as he heard her footsteps bounding towards him, and frankly, he couldn’t bring himself to try and shoo her off. He wondered if it was the part of him that still regretted their first meeting and how he had so brashly proclaimed that she would never take Kanae’s place and that if (L/n) knew what was good for her, she would walk into the woods and disappear forever. He was well aware that he had overstepped his lines, and despite his better judgment, he felt the need to go out of his way and allow her to hang around him.
‘Stop lying to yourself. Give her more credit, asshole,’ He cursed internally, ‘she fought tooth and nail to try and be around me, even after I treated her so cruelly.’ He still saw everything, the first meeting, the argument, everything. He remembered it like it was yesterday.
“Who do you think you are, trying to replace her? Kanae is the only Flower Hashira, and she always will be. If you know what’s best, you will walk out now and disappear in the woods for the rest of eternity.” Sanemi bellowed as he glared at the woman standing across the yard from him. Despite his harsh words, she stood tall, unfazed by his outburst and only throwing fuel to the fire of Sanemi’s heart. His glare searched rapidly around him for support as an annoyed groan escaped Uzui. Sanemi didn’t understand. Kanae had only died three months ago, the others should be outraged at this blatant replacement, yet none of them made a move. His attention snapped to Shinobu, who only remained kneeling before the master, not an ounce of negative emotion riddling her young face.
“I think you misunderstand why I’m here.” The woman began, unmoving despite Sanemi’s glare returning to her. “Kanae was a phenomenal Hashira, and her death hurt everyone-"“Don’t act like you knew her!” Sanemi interrupted, his teeth bared. (Y/n) sighed softly, completely calm despite the raging man across from her. He hated it. She stood so sure, completely unaffected by his words, and worse, she wore a gentle smile. A sympathetic smile, like she knew the pain everyone was going through, and as if she knew he had lost another person he cared about.
“I didn’t know her, and I won’t claim to have known her. But what I do know is that from everything I’ve heard, she was the epitome of goodness. And I can only attempt to follow in her footsteps as the next Flower Hashira.” (Y/n’s) hand reached for her chest, placing itself atop her heart, “I can only begin to hope I leave a legacy as powerful as hers and that my joining is not seen as a rushed replacement.” Her head lowered as she finished her statement. She was bowing. Not to the master or the other Hashira, but to him. To Sanemi. He took a step back, his eyes widening slightly as he attempted to fend off the shock trying to make itself known.
“Death sticks with us all, Sanemi, but it also allows us the chance to grow.” Oyakata spoke up from the pavilion he rested on. “And in order for us to stay strong, we must grow. I hope you can come to understand this decision.” Sanemi snapped his attention to the Master. Like always, he stood proudly, his smile riddled with a saccharine sympathy. The wind Hashira couldn’t bring himself to argue against the master. If it were anyone else, he’d have a string of words for them, but it had to be the man Sanemi couldn’t bring himself to argue with.
“I understand, sir. And I apologize for my outburst.” Sanemi rushed before turning on his heel, dismissing himself from the meeting before the master got another word in. He couldn’t believe it, the audacity of that woman, to stand there where Kanae should be and act as though she knew the pain they were feeling. The pain he was feeling. It was insulting, and Sanemi wanted nothing to do with her, for better or worse.
She apparently had different plans.
It was less than two hours before Sanemi noticed her intruding on his training. He held back a laugh of disbelief as she walked by him, drawing her sword and quickly beginning her own training regiment.
“I don’t want to be around you, and I was here first. So, fuck off.” Sanemi argued as he watched her effortlessly destroy a few training dummies the Kakushi had set up. She only laughed at his statement and swung her sword once more.
“I don’t care! We have to work together, so get used to it.” She claimed, a satisfied smile dawning on her lips as she noticed the rage bubbling up on Sanemi’s face. With another swing of her sword and another destroyed dummy, she turned on her heel to face him, wearing a wide smile. Sanemi seethed at her blatant disregard for his anger.
“Who do you think you are?” He asked through gritted teeth, his fists clenched and his sword shaking in his hold. She sheathed her katana swiftly before she slowly dragged her eyes over his figure. Her eyes moved slowly as if she were studying him, easily committing every inch of his body to memory.
“I’m (Y/n) (L/n), the newest Hashira and a demon slayer who has worked my ass off for years to be here. And who are you, other than your miserable jackass persona?” Her question was so simple, yet so irking. Sanemi tossed his Katana to the side, figuring it best not to have a weapon in his hands while his emotions were being tested. His hands ran through his hair as he stole a deep breath from the world around him. His hands fell to his side, returning to fists as he glared at the still-smiling woman.
“I’m Sanemi Shinazugawa, the wind Hashira.” He declared proudly. He was the wind Hashira, one of the strongest members of the demon slayer corps and someone people feared, and Sanemi reveled in the idea of her finally backing down and acknowledging his strength. Instead, (Y/n) shook her head softly, her arms crossing over her chest as she did. Sanemi felt his glare deepen as he watched her arms fold over each other.
“No. I don’t think you are.” Another pass of her eyes over his figure, “I think you’re just an angry man. That’s all you are, Isolated anger.” She decided. Sanemi felt his jaw drop with her statement. He stood frozen in place, staring at the woman. Her eyebrow raised under his unwavering gaze.
“What gives you the right to say something like that to me?" He challenged, his voice shaking with rage. She sighed softly, and finally, her smile faltered.
“Because I’ve been in the same position, and if you ignore your rage, it will kill you. It seems as though it’s already doing a number on you.” She deducted, slowly walking toward the man. Her stride was sure, unwavering with each step. If anything, it made Sanemi a little unsure, despite his flurry of anger.
“Oh, shut up.” He barked, attempting to seem more sure of himself than he truly was.
“No. Shun people all you want. It’s not going to keep you from getting hurt. If anything, it will just make it worse.” She challenged, her finger poking at his scarred chest as she leaned close to him. Their eyes met, and Sanemi felt his breath hitch. He couldn’t see the color of her eyes, that was expected, but this close, he saw something more. Swirling behind the expanse of colors unknown to Sanemi, there was hope; he knew it was hope. He had seen that look in his eyes one too many times when looking at reflective surfaces. A yearning for something better, for a future free of demons and a life of peace with the family they had remaining, it was the same hope that was continuously torn away from people like them.
“You don’t know anything about me.” He brushed off the look, pulling away from her before she continued her way out from the training arena. Sanemi watched as she walked off, his eyes glued to her figure. She stopped, turning over her shoulder with a vibrant smile plastered across her face.
“That’s why I am going to do everything in my power to learn about you. Even if you hate it.” She winked at him, giggling softly before completely disappearing. Sanemi stood frozen in place, disbelief at the interaction snaking through his veins.
He rolled his eyes before going to retrieve his sword.
“Shinazugawa!” Her voice cut through his thoughts, forcing his feet to stop as he turned over his shoulder. She joined him at his side seconds later, wearing her favorite smile as she came to a halt. She always wore that same smile, even when she was in the midst of arguments. Sanemi swore he had only seen her smile drop twice, and neither time ended well. The better part of him screamed at him to be concerned; someone who wore a smile that pure had to be masking something, especially in this profession. Yet he couldn’t gather the courage to ask, no matter what he did. He could look man-eating demons in the eyes and laugh… But ask her something personal? Sanemi rather feed himself to upper moon one.
“Hello, (L/n). What brings you out this way?” He spoke softly, probably too softly, but he would worry about that later. The woman beside him bounced slightly on her toes, excitement radiating off her every inch. His head tilted slightly to the side as she looked around at their surroundings as if she were making sure no one was listening to them.
“You’re not going to believe this!" she began, “But my newest batch of students for training are all graduating a week early! They’ve absolutely mastered stealth training! One of them was so good at it that he snuck up on me!” Her hands clapped together excitedly. Sanemi gave an approving ‘hmm’ at her information, a smile tugging on the corners of his lips despite his better judgment. Despite their rocky introduction, he had always appreciated how proud she was of everyone around her. Some people were proud to the point of arrogance, but she had always been a perfect mix of awareness and pride. That fact had been a reason for Sanemi’s eventual reconciliation with her.
“That is great to hear, (L/n). The sooner we get them through training, the more time they have to practice summoning a mark.” He nodded slightly, his arms crossing over his chest a moment later.
“You know, you don’t have to call me by my last name.” Her head tilted slightly to the side, a smug smirk dawning across her face. “Or have you forgotten my first name? You are quite forgetful.” She teased, earning an eye roll from Sanemi.
“I leave my sword at a meeting one time….” He groaned, earning a soft chuckle from her. Sanemi forced back the ever-growing smile fighting its way onto his face. He hated how effortlessly she could make him smile, and he despised the look she gave him every time she succeeded in drawing a smile onto his face. It wasn’t a smug look nor a look of confusion; it was always one resting on the border of adoration. Although, Sanemi knew he would never let himself believe it. Very few people adored him, and he was sure someone as amazing as (Y/n) would never feel that way about him.
“You were so distracted that day…I still remember the look on your face when I handed you your katana.” She tapped at her lips as her eyebrow raised, “Makes me wonder what had you so distracted.” She leaned forward, silently prompting Sanemi to share his side of the story. The wind Hashira fought back a chuckle at her prodding. He knew full well why he was so distracted and knew further that he would never dare to utter a word about it in her presence. It was embarrassing to him alone and mortifying to think about others knowing. The wind Hashira, the scariest Hashira the corps had to offer, Sanemi Shinazugawa was distracted by her. He knew she would always capture his attention with her intricate haori and overall eye-catching demeanor. But in recent weeks, no, in recent months, she had become his favorite distraction. Bad day? Talk to (Y/n). Bored before a mission? Exchange Kasugai crow messages with (Y/n). He truly needed no excuse to talk to her, yet he continued to find them, mainly to save his pride. His eyes flickered down to hers as he formulated another excuse to feed her.
“The idea of dinner was distracting me.” He lied. She rolled her eyes at his statement, seeing through his fib effortlessly. Sanemi knew he couldn’t keep lying to her, but for something like this, he deemed it better than admitting that he could not shake the woman from his thoughts.
“Speaking of which…Did you already eat dinner?” She asked, her hands clasping as she looked up at Sanemi. He nodded quickly, attempting to avoid the question of being invited to dinner. He couldn’t allow her to eat dinner with him, not after what happened to everyone who had before.
“I did, but thank you for asking.” He responded, his sentence fading out quickly. Sanemi turned on his heel, beginning to walk away, only to be followed by (Y/n). She took in their surroundings as they walked.
“Shame, I was going to invite you over for dinner! I’m thinking of making some hiyashi chuka and maybe some ohagi for dessert.” She looked up at Sanemi, who visibly perked up at the mention of his favorite sweet treat. His hand brushed through his hair as he murmured a soft ‘sounds good’ in response, trying to hide his intrigue. Another sigh from (Y/n), and her head tilted back.
“You’re so difficult, Sanemi.” She lamented, earning a chuckle from the white-haired man. He looked at her, committing her exasperated expression to memory. His hand found itself atop her head as he rustled her hair, drawing a laugh from her.
“That’s my specialty.” He said through her fit of giggles. Swiftly she swatted his hands away, stepping in front of him and pointing at his chest. Sanemi stopped short, unmoving under her playful gaze.
“One day, mark my words, we will have dinner together, and you’ll love it.” She promised, her finger digging into his chest as she poked at him. Sanemi prepared to respond, a witty remark waiting desperately on the tip of his tongue, but when his eyes met hers, the wind Hashira froze. Any word he prepared was immediately gone as he noticed the hues of her face shift slowly. Grey’s were replaced without hesitation, giving way to the stunning shades that made up the appearance of (Y/n) (L/n). He stepped back, unable to process the colors flooding his world. Sanemi’s head snapped up, looking at the flowering trees around them. Grey and white were no more in favor of vibrant purples and greens. The sky was a shade of shimmering orange as the sun set, the remaining blue turning darker by the moment. Sanemi returned his sights to (Y/n’s) eyes. They were stunning. Sparkling and shimmering in the evening light, unblinking as they stared at him. His hands found their place on her arms, holding her gently as he stared at her.
“Sanemi?” Her eyebrow was raised, and her voice laced with concern. Sanemi attempted to stomp out his excitement to no avail. Years of seeing nothing but white, grey, and black were suddenly thrown out of the window. It didn’t make sense, Sanemi had suffered so much, but in this moment, with her, his life was reignited with a sudden vibrancy he didn’t know he had missed. He didn’t know what to say or do. How do you explain to someone that you just regained the ability to see color after years of being colorblind? The world was silent, full of vibrant colors and an overwhelming peace Sanemi didn’t know was possible. He was at a loss for words, so he said the first thing that came to mind.
“Have I ever told you that your eyes are striking- no, dazzling… no, that’s not enough.” Sanemi thought for a moment, “You are absolutely captivating.”
Part 2
