Let Me Try Again pt. 1
It had been a sad few weeks since Aziraphale had returned to heaven. Muriel had done their job and stayed to take care of the bookshop. They had not anticipated a particular demon to stick around. He moped around the shop, occasionally cleaning up. It was always done in a slow manner, as if he might lose the will to go on at any moment. Muriel wasn’t sure if they should kick him out. Still, something about Crowley was comforting.
“Yes, ma’am. I believe this book is for sale,” Muriel stated with their usual nervous smile. The blonde woman they were dealing with gave an annoyed huff. Muriel felt a twinge of anxiety at that.
“That’s not what I asked. How much does the book cost? This is a shop, after all. It’s all for sale, right?” The distressed angel clasped their hands in front of them while keeping a smile. Still, their eyes cast downwards.
“I suppose you’re right, ma’am,” Muriel replied. Neither of them noticed that Crowley’s interest had been piqued. He sauntered to the pair as a short, tense silence overtook the shop.
“Well?” The blonde insisted.
“W-well?” Muriel stuttered. They were never good at interacting with humans. Interactions, in general, seemed difficult. Crowley squared his jaw as he stopped next to the rude woman.
“I need to know the price!” She said a bit louder than the demon cared for. He reached over and plucked the book from her hands. “Hey!”
“Terribly sorry. I don’t think this one’s in my inventory,” Crowley stated. The woman glared at him and went to reach for the book but had it moved beyond her grasp. “Store policy.”
“Alright,” she groaned, scanning around for another. “What about this one? Is this one in your inventory?”
“Fraid not,” Crowley replied and plucked the book up before she could reach for it. She scowled at him for a long moment. “Maybe I haven’t made myself clear. Piss off.” The blonde scoffed, turning away.
“Bleedin’ fool,” she commented. A small bell above the door sounded her exit. Crowley turned his attention towards the angel. They couldn’t see his eyes, but they could feel him gazing at them beyond the dark frames.
“Rule number one: don’t sell any books,” Crowley stated. Muriel furrowed their brow. They were conflicted by the entire endeavor. Crowley had been rude to the woman, but she had been rude first. Should they chastise him or thank him? Next was the matter of the books.
“I don’t understand. This is a bookshop. I’m supposed to sell them, aren’t I?” They questioned. Crowley shook his head slightly.
“Aziraphale wanted to open a shop for a long time. So, he opened this place. He never thought about having to part with one of his precious books. This place is more of his collection, really,” the demon answered. Muriel nodded but still had a perplexed look on their face.
“Just don’t worry about it, kid,” he stated. The angel seemed to be okay, just a bit dim. Crowley knew he would need to keep an eye on them just to ensure Aziraphale wouldn’t be upset when he returned. If he returned. The thought sent a pang through the demon. He had a sudden thought to sell every book in this place. Hell, he might just put them out on the curb and let whoever wanted them to take them. The thought passed quickly when he heard the bell again.
“Didn’t I just tell you to piss off?” He questioned as he turned his attention to the door. He felt as though he were frozen when he saw Aziraphale stopped just inside the door. The angel looked just as shocked to see him. His expression shifted to a nervous smile.
“Hello, Crowley,” Aziraphale said with a kind voice. Muriel looked between the two, feeling the tension rise in the air.
“…I just remembered, I need to clean up in the back,” they stated. The other two didn’t acknowledge it as the small angel ran to the back of the shop.
“I guess I should be going,” Crowley stated. He began to walk out the door.
“I-I guess you should,” Aziraphale said. His tone made the demon stop in his tracks. It was a soft, sweet tone that he used when he was upset but didn’t want it to be known. Despite everything, Crowley couldn’t leave him like this.
“Something’s bothering you,” Crowley replied. Aziraphale gave him another smile.
“Of course not, my dear boy… I’m just here to pick up something before I go back up,” he responded. Crowley turned towards him fully now.
“I know when you’re lying. Something’s happened,” he said. The two just stared at each other for a moment. Aziraphale watched as Crowley clenched and unclenched his jaw. His glasses were still placed firmly over his eyes. Usually, he would have taken them off by now. Crowley nodded to the sofa in the corner.
“Go sit. I’ll be back.” Aziraphale made a small noise in the back of his throat. His stomach felt like it was going to be in knots. Still, the angel did as he was told and watched as Crowley disappeared into the back of the shop. Aziraphale tried to keep his hands from shaking as he feared his composure would drop. Crowley walked back into the room with Aziraphale’s angel mug in hand.
“Here,” he said as he held it towards Aziraphale. The angel looked down and saw that Crowley had prepared a hot chocolate for him. He smiled but did not accept it.
“I’m afraid that won’t help me this time,” Aziraphale stated with a sad smile. He saw Crowley’s brow knit together as he sat the cup on a side table.
“Has someone died?” Crowley asked. “I’ve never seen you turn down hot chocolate. Not even after they tried to kill us.” He flopped down next to Aziraphale with one arm propped on the back of the seat. It hadn’t fully been the purpose, but if this went wrong, he’d be in the perfect position to wrap the arm around the angel’s shoulders.
“No, no one has died. At least not yet,” Aziraphale said. Crowley tilted his head a bit. “First, I need you to know why I didn’t come back after you… Well, after my last day here.” He could feel Crowley tensing next to him. The embarrassment and anger rolled off him. Aziraphale didn’t worry. Crowley had always been quick to anger but seldom lashed out at him for it. “I had considered turning back and just letting someone else take over in heaven, but the Metatron said something that made me stop.” Just like that, the anger had been replaced with curiosity.
“What did he say to sway you that quickly?” Crowley questioned. There was a bit of warmth in his chest. Just to know the angel thought about coming back to him.
“They’re planning the second coming. They still want to end everything,” Aziraphale wrung his hands together in an attempt to stay calm. “I thought if I took over in heaven, I could change their minds. Perhaps I could be the one to show them the wonders of the earth.”
“Oh, angel,” Crowley replied. He knew better than anyone that heaven wasn’t the place to go to be listened to. Aziraphale braced himself as his eyes seemed to glisten with an unshed tear.
“They didn’t want me, Crowley. It was all a trick. I heard them talking,” Aziraphale propped his head in his hand as the tears broke loose and rolled down his cheek. “They only asked me to take the position so it would split us up. They thought if I were to stay here with you, we would stop the next Armagedon.”
“Can you really say they were wrong? We did stop the last one,” Crowley stated as he watched the tears roll down Aziraphale’s face. Should he wipe them away? Best not to just yet.
“I-I thought they had seen the good in me… The good in you. They knew that you wouldn’t come with me and I didn’t. How could I be so blind that heaven would know my best friend better than me?” Crowley knew the angel had slipped into feeling sorry for himself. “Maybe I’m just a daft fool.”
“Okay, that’s enough,” Crowley said gently before resting a hand on his knee. His thumb brushed gently over his thigh in an attempt to calm him. Somehow, it seemed to make it worse.
“For heaven’s sake, where was that before I left?” Aziraphale questioned as he pointed towards the hand on his knee. Crowley was confused again. Aziraphale had a talent for changing the subject abruptly and acting as though it was his fault for not keeping up.
“Where was what?” Crowley asked. Aziraphale motioned to Crowley’s hand again.
“That. Where were the soft touches? And why on earth did you have to kiss me like that?” Aziraphale questioned. Crowley hadn’t been expecting that question. He assumed that the kiss had explained itself.
“Because I wanted to show you how I felt about you. I needed you to know what I meant when I said ‘us’,” Crowley answered. Aziraphale seemed to have calmed down now as he patted the demon’s hand.
“Dear, I already knew,” Aziraphale replied. He saw Crowley’s jaw go a bit slack. “Why do you think I’ve been trying to woo you since you saved my books from that bomb blast?” Crowley’s jaw hung a little lower. His hand went from Aziraphale’s knee to pull his shades off.
“You’ve been wooing me?” Crowley asked, sounding completely flabbergasted. He crossed his arms before slumping back into his seat. “That’s complete bollocks, angel.”
“But I have, Crowley!”
“Maybe you were right. Perhaps you are a bit daft,” Crowley replied. Aziraphale rolled his eyes.
“Why do you think I started to touch you?” Crowley gave him a wide-eyed look. Clearly, he didn’t believe him. “I’m serious. I had a plan. I started with a few dates here and th-.”
“Dates?” Crowley questioned, voice rising in pitch. “We’ve never been on any bloody dates.”
“Yes, we have,” Aziraphale said. He was aware that they had completely lost the thread of the original conversation. However, he felt as though talk of heaven could wait until this was squared away. “What did you think all those nights out to late dinners to romantic restaurants were?”
“I thought you liked the atmosphere.”
“I did. Because I thought the soft music and candlelight would set the mood. What about the trips to the park?” The angel pressed on.
“It’s a park! Everyone goes to the park. What did you think watching the ducks was going to do for us?” Crowley replied before putting on a silly voice. “Oh, would you look at the mallards? Fine feathers this year. Really makes me want to snog you.”
“Stop it,” he said. There was a moment of distress passed over his face. “Perhaps I’ve been a bit too subtle.”
“You think? Besides, you’re the one who always pushes me away. You told me I go too fast.”
“Well, you do. Every time I move one step, you jump ten feet. Just like before I left. I wanted a peaceful night that I could put my hand on your chest and dance with you,” Aziraphale stated. He placed a hand on the demon’s chest and immediately felt a warmth under his fingers. Then, I’d take your hand in mine, and we’d sit in the corner to be alone while the rest of the party went on without us.”
“All you wanted was to hold hands?” Crowley asked. He tried to stay calm as the angel took his hand and intertwined their fingers.
“It’s not just that. It’s the intimacy of being alone with someone, even in a crowded room. But I didn’t get that. I only got a short dance. Then, it felt as though you attacked me.”
“…It wasn’t at all enjoyable?”
“You came off a bit angry, my dear,” the angel answered honestly, shifting in his seat.
“Fine. Then you do it next time. I’d like to see how you came off.” Crowley hadn’t been expecting Aziraphale to scoot over in the seat.
“Maybe I will,” he said, swallowing thickly. His hand pulled away from Crowley’s. He seemed to hesitate before placing his fingers against Crowley’s cheek. The demon felt his mouth go dry. Was this happening? Sure enough, Aziraphale leaned closer. Crowley puckered his lips lightly in anticipation. However, all he got was a swift peck on the lips before the angel retreated.
“Perhaps it’s not so easy,” Aziraphale cleared his throat before moving away again.
“You tried, Angel,” he replied. Crowley was honestly more than happy with the small act of affection. It proved just how Aziraphale cared for him. Still, he was a demon. So, he had to make jokes. “Who knows? Maybe next time, you’ll throw me against a wall and have your way with me.”
“Oh, good lord, Crowley.” The two weren’t aware of Muriel reentering the room.
“I just want to pick up a bo-.”
“You know you want to defile this body,” Crowley purred before noticing the other angel. Muriel turned without even getting what they had come for and exited the room again. “Whoops.”
“Did you really have to use the term ‘defile’?”
“Eehh. It sounded good in my head.”
Muriel guarded the front desk while Crowley and Aziraphale spoke in the back. Despite him knowing what the other angels had said, Aziraphale
