Chapter 2: The Spark Revisited
It's been roughly a year since The Spark (See Chapter 1). And by now, I'd expect to say that my life is much better than it was a year ago.
Well it is: SOO MUCH BETTER. But now I feel like it's beginning to decline again.
I mean it's been an eventful year: I've made "friends", had adventures, and have seen my life generally improve altogether. But there's something inside me telling me that it's all going to go wrong
Subchapter 1: "Friends"
Yeah, I'm going to throw the quotes in again. This time, though, it's intentional. I've finally figured it out. These people aren't friends anymore. They never really were. At least not in the sense that the definition of the word implies. No, they are "friends" in a sense that they are friends, friends, and FRIENDS; in a sense that they're practically family (proof on fb :P ); in a sense that our bonds are tightly wound to a deeper level: so tightly bound that a bad day for one of us becomes a bad day for the rest of us. Our interpersonal web of connection
Subchapter 2: Adventure
Adventure, for many, implies the physical travel to another land. I've done so in the Japan trip last summer. I will be doing so in an Italy trip, as well as a NY family vacation this summer. But I've also adventured in other ways. I've ditched the sports to focus on exploring the non-sport life. I've opened up to people (see Subchapter 1) to journey through the world of trust and anti-loneliness. I've gone (and will go) through personal hermitages to figure myself out, cherish solitude, increase appreciation for everything, etc. An adventure through mind and body to figure myself out
Subchapter 3: Improvement (alt title: The Metamorphosis' Effectiveness)
See Subchapters 1 and 2. Also, see Untitled 2. All of it. Seriously. It must be restated (especially for new followers) that this blog was meant solely to be a personal rewriting project, in which I figure myself out through posts, find my interests in the things I reblog, relate to others of whom I probably wouldn't have in real life. And I want my followers to be in on it because I hate exclusivity (which is also why there are no private posts). I believe all that can be seen if my blog is reread (save a day for it if you're interested). The project has stayed true to its purpose since its inception (and that's the correct usage of the word), and it will stay true until the internet is terminated by a newer, cooler system that will eventually spell the doom of man (if that doesn't happen, maybe it will stay forever). Either way, if you ask me, if I ask you, if anybody who cares to read is asked, my life has improved by leaps and bounds.
Subchapter 4: Antithesis
This is the part everyone hates (even haters) What comes up must come down, right? What goes around comes around, yeah? I actually predicted this would happen. But not in the way it did. I figured that my happiness would eventually balance out the sadness I experienced before The Spark. The way it happened: a weakened bond. Long story short, I grew closer to one "friend" and She had to end it for outside reasons unimportant to this post and unimportant for your caring. Trying to ease out of that close bond while still maintaining the connection to keep the interpersonal web strong has to proven to be quite difficult. I still keep hope that the closeness will happen again because I feel that if I let go of that hope, our bond will be severed, and no one wants that to happen. After the weakening off said bond, nothing else really seemed to go my way anymore, and thus I feel like I might be declining
Subchapter 5: Resolution?
All things considered, life may suck now, but it could be worse. And it has still notably improved, so in the end I have little to complain about. If I start to decline, there's no doubt that I'll try to fight it as best as I can. For now, though, I guess I'm just a stranger locked outside his own home, trying to find a way in, looking inside to figure it out.