#reverse recovery

[addohaislam2000]

High reverse voltage surge capability, reverse recovery, high thermal cycling

ES2DA Series 200 V 2 A Surface Mount Super-Fast Rectifier - DO-214AC

[kikithehousemoose]

Okay no but you guys don't understand if I dissociate tomorrow I'm actually going to be really fucking happy

Like I know it's kind of bad??? But I have a backwards view of recovery. My definition of getting better is when symptoms become more prominent/severe so that I can deal with them easier rather than have them be fleeting and doubting them too much to do anything.

It's not the switchy kind of dissociation, which is still a huge worryer for me (I might be wrong, but the last switch I remember was in September and even that was really fucking brief). Still, these episodes just give me more hope for proof for a diagnosis and strengthen my self-diagnosis every time. 

(And to the like two or three of you-- I'm sorry. I don't know anything. I'm going off of false hopes and doubts. For all I know, Amanda's gone. I don't know if she integrated, I don't know if she's not needed anymore, I don't know if she was real to begin with. And it's not like I can ask anyone about it, because I'm still stranded as far as communication goes. No Kathryn. No Lee. The closest I've come in these months has been Josie being near front and making me really sensitive, but even then I haven't been able to communicate.

I'm sorry.)