#rfblackmare

[hellsdemonictrinity]

Hi, I was wondering if it would be alright to use your prompts list as a kind of writing challenge. I'd like to post what I write on my tumblr, and I would obviously give you credit for the prompts, but I hope it's okay.

Definitely okay, have fun!

[signoraviolettavalery]

rfblackmare replied to your post “Potentially controversial take but I don’t think Michael doubts that...”

Oh, I definitely agree with this. I have this whole theory as to why Alex is so hesitant on being with Michael, and it's concerning the night Rosa died. I mean, Michael had just helped cover a murder, not to mention taken the blame for it. I think that seriously affected the way he treated Alex afterwards, and since Alex didn't know what it was really because of, he must've just assumed that Michael blamed him for Jesse destroying his hand...

Oh, I mean, Carina pretty much confirmed this. She said something about there being a whole summer after Rosa’s death, and how Alex didn’t make the decision to enlist easily or lightly, and possibly there might’ve been one more tweet. So I think it’s pretty much canon that Michael withdrew into himself after the Rosa incident, but Alex assumed it was because of the Jesse incident. 

Honestly, though, I don’t think that’s why Alex is hesitant, or at least, not entirely. I mean, they’ve had ten years, and in those ten years it’s become pretty clear that Michael doesn’t hold what happened against Alex. From the way Michael practically pursues Alex at the reunion, to the way he keeps taking Alex back every time Alex comes back after hurting him...I think it’s pretty clear to Alex that Michael will take him back no matter what. Which honestly might be the actual problem, in that Alex either doesn’t think he deserves to be loved like that after what happened with Jesse/Michael’s hand, or he’s trying to protect Michael from anything like that happening again, or he was so traumatized by the love of his life being literally mangled by being with him that he’s terrified of so much as even getting close to Michael for a prolonged period of time. I even think maybe he’s afraid of just how much Michael loves him, because that puts such a burden on him given his experience of what happens to people he loves. 

[signoraviolettavalery]

rfblackmare replied to your post “Potentially controversial take but I don’t think Michael doubts that...”

I don't know, but the reason behind Alex not allowing himself to be with Michael seems deeper to me than a fear of what other people will think. I think there's a lot more to the story than what we've been given so far.

Oh, it’s definitely not what about other people will think, especially given how openly gay he’s always been in a clearly homophobic town. I think it’s a combination of other factors: 

1. the one time he was together with someone he loved that person got irreparably hurt and literally mangled and now he’s terrified of being with Michael again lest the same thing happens

2. he has severe abandonment issues and has been through so much trauma and abuse that he probably has a lot of trouble with believing he deserves good things 

3. not wanting to inflict those issues on Michael 

4. Whatever the rest of their problems have been over the past 10 years, which we don’t really know yet

5. whatever his issue is currently with being with michael which i’m still struggling to understand since he ran his dad out of town