Rhartessa for the brotop meme <3
who steals french fries off the other’s plate:
Marty and Rhett mooch off each other pretty freely in all snacking matters (except perhaps Oreos, which have a very clear “each of us gets a row” rule). Vanessa progressed from simply sharing snacks with Marty back when they were friends to occasionally feeding said munchies directly to Marty while they watch things on Netflix now that they are a couple. This frequently earns Nessa a mustachioed pout from Rhett before she good-naturedly tosses some for him to attempt to catch with his mouth. Some hilarious miscalculations have resulted from this, but Rhett enjoys the challenge and insists his reflexes are improving.
As for fries specifically, a large communal plate has been agreed upon as the best option. However, in cases of meal deals that come with fries, the most guilty of swiping would be Rhett from Vanessa. He doesn’t actually eat them (well, okay, not all of them at least), but instead puts them where his fries used to be. Then he waits to see how long it will take for Nessa to notice that her untouched fry supply is getting smaller while his fries are mysteriously multiplying. It amuses him because she’s generally so caught up in Marty that he can get away with filching almost the entire lot before his thievery is finally detected.
who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple:
On the rare occasion that this happens, they’re never quite sure which combination the stranger meant unless they indicated by pointing. Regardless, Marty generally responds with some variation of “You’re damn right” before looping one arm around the back of Vanessa’s neck and coaxing her in for a kiss. This is all well and good except for the times when they aren’t sitting next to each other, in which case Rhett is left to scoot/lean back out of the way. While the smooching commences, he usually gives the stranger a shrug as if to say, “They’re kind of always like this.“
who has to bust or bail the other out of jail
Full-on incarceration has thankfully not happened, but getting picked up and having to wait on a bench certainly has. Vanessa is 100% always the one to come pick the other two up and thank Dominic for keeping them safe. One time, Marty and Rhett tried to give Nessa big "I’m sorry” eyes so they’d seem duly contrite. It worked immediately; Vanessa couldn’t suppress a quiet laugh before she forced a more serious expression back into place so the cops wouldn’t see. “C'mon, Pound Puppies,” Vanessa joked under her breath before she led them outside. Marty licked Vanessa’s cheek and Rhett pretended to scratch a flea behind his ear.
who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues
Rhett actually had to play matchmaker a bit on both sides of this ship before they finally got together. Open, heartfelt conversations were not something that came easily between Rhett and Vanessa before that point, but they did help to bond them closer together along the way. Marty had always spoken her thoughts freely to Rhett, but they seldom took such a serious turn before it looked like she might lose her connection to Nessa forever. Thankfully, the angsty drama blew over in time and they are now the happiest they’ve ever been. As for who gives Rhett advice, well, Marty’s ready with a quip or some mild teasing but Vanessa is his go-to for genuine romancing suggestions. He alternates between Nessa and Nola, depending on which he finds alone first.
who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes
Marty and Rhett both cover each other’s eyes all the time. Then there are instances when Marty’s hands are full (such as games in an arcade that simulate some sort of bike or car race and must be guided by the player). In these cases, she will call on whichever of the two is free to cover the eyes of the person she’s competing against. So, if she’s racing Rhett, she’ll ask Vanessa to block his view. If Marty and Vanessa are on opposing sides, she’ll tell Rhett to obscure Nessa’s vision. This form of double-attack can also work if it’s Vanessa asking Marty to cover Rhett’s eyes, but Nessa won’t interfere with Marty’s progress on Rhett’s behalf (which leads to Rhett half-heartedly grumbling about girlfriend loyalty).
who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk
Due to (theoretically) strict rules against co-ed sleeping arrangements, this isn’t something they run into much at the academy. However, in the event that they were to find themselves anywhere else that had bunk beds, it has been agreed that Rhett gets top bunk and Marty and Vanessa get bottom. This was not always the case. The first time they were in this situation and the three of them entered the room, Marty immediately bellowed, “Nessa, grab it!” Since Marty was very chivalrously carrying their bags, it fell to Vanessa to race across the room and scale the ladder to the top before Rhett had even fully registered what was happening. Rhett clumsily dropped his duffel, backpack, and lunch bag, somehow managing to trip over all three, before he dejectedly muttered, “Ah, crap.” The girls cheered and Marty popped up to give her champion a kiss over the railing. However, that night, they came to regret their decision. Of course, the two of them would never get up to too much mischief with Rhett right below them, but a tiny bit of casual “messing around” resulted in Marty losing her balance and flipping over the side. She landed with a rather alarming thud and an even more audible string of swear words. Rhett was so groggy that he simply rolled over to peer at her, shook his head, and mumbled, “Filthy animal…” before returning to his snuggly cocoon. Since then, the couple have agreed on a permanent call of bottom bunk, just in case, and Rhett is happy to take the top bunk he’s become accustomed to after years in the academy dorms.
who starts and who wins the pillow fights
Marty starts them the most out of the three. It’s just too funny to watch Rhett’s indignant expression as his hair gets jostled out of place. The fights can go on for quite some time, even escaping the bedroom where it started on more than one occasion, but there was a surprising victor at the end of it all. Rhett had seen how easy Vanessa took it on Marty, careful not to give it a full swing, so nothing really prepared him for that final wallop so perfectly timed and aimed that it made him see stars. All it was missing were some tiny animated birds to circle his head and tweet. Rhett willingly admitted defeat that time, but he knew to watch out for Nessa’s hidden strength in the future.
who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush
Marty, most definitely. Rhett was all for nudging his two friends along back in the day, but never far enough that he was cooking up innuendos for them. Marty, on the other hand, has decided this is exactly the kind of assistance Rhett needs to finally “seal the deal with Syd O'Neill."
"You know that’s not actually her last name, right?”
“Don’t dissect my poetry, Rhettrograde.”