#rhett meme

[infernal-jokesses]

Link - Why is water wet?

Rhett - *smart look* Because if it were try you would choke on it.

[multiversemuses]

Rhartessa for the brotop meme <3

who steals french fries off the other’s plate:

Marty and Rhett mooch off each other pretty freely in all snacking matters (except perhaps Oreos, which have a very clear “each of us gets a row” rule). Vanessa progressed from simply sharing snacks with Marty back when they were friends to occasionally feeding said munchies directly to Marty while they watch things on Netflix now that they are a couple. This frequently earns Nessa a mustachioed pout from Rhett before she good-naturedly tosses some for him to attempt to catch with his mouth. Some hilarious miscalculations have resulted from this, but Rhett enjoys the challenge and insists his reflexes are improving. 

As for fries specifically, a large communal plate has been agreed upon as the best option. However, in cases of meal deals that come with fries, the most guilty of swiping would be Rhett from Vanessa. He doesn’t actually eat them (well, okay, not all of them at least), but instead puts them where his fries used to be. Then he waits to see how long it will take for Nessa to notice that her untouched fry supply is getting smaller while his fries are mysteriously multiplying. It amuses him because she’s generally so caught up in Marty that he can get away with filching almost the entire lot before his thievery is finally detected. 

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple:  

On the rare occasion that this happens, they’re never quite sure which combination the stranger meant unless they indicated by pointing. Regardless, Marty generally responds with some variation of “You’re damn right” before looping one arm around the back of Vanessa’s neck and coaxing her in for a kiss. This is all well and good except for the times when they aren’t sitting next to each other, in which case Rhett is left to scoot/lean back out of the way. While the smooching commences, he usually gives the stranger a shrug as if to say, “They’re kind of always like this.“ 

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail

Full-on incarceration has thankfully not happened, but getting picked up and having to wait on a bench certainly has. Vanessa is 100% always the one to come pick the other two up and thank Dominic for keeping them safe. One time, Marty and Rhett tried to give Nessa big "I’m sorry” eyes so they’d seem duly contrite. It worked immediately; Vanessa couldn’t suppress a quiet laugh before she forced a more serious expression back into place so the cops wouldn’t see. “C'mon, Pound Puppies,” Vanessa joked under her breath before she led them outside. Marty licked Vanessa’s cheek and Rhett pretended to scratch a flea behind his ear. 

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues

Rhett actually had to play matchmaker a bit on both sides of this ship before they finally got together. Open, heartfelt conversations were not something that came easily between Rhett and Vanessa before that point, but they did help to bond them closer together along the way. Marty had always spoken her thoughts freely to Rhett, but they seldom took such a serious turn before it looked like she might lose her connection to Nessa forever. Thankfully, the angsty drama blew over in time and they are now the happiest they’ve ever been. As for who gives Rhett advice, well, Marty’s ready with a quip or some mild teasing but Vanessa is his go-to for genuine romancing suggestions. He alternates between Nessa and Nola, depending on which he finds alone first. 

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes

Marty and Rhett both cover each other’s eyes all the time. Then there are instances when Marty’s hands are full (such as games in an arcade that simulate some sort of bike or car race and must be guided by the player). In these cases, she will call on whichever of the two is free to cover the eyes of the person she’s competing against. So, if she’s racing Rhett, she’ll ask Vanessa to block his view. If Marty and Vanessa are on opposing sides, she’ll tell Rhett to obscure Nessa’s vision. This form of double-attack can also work if it’s Vanessa asking Marty to cover Rhett’s eyes, but Nessa won’t interfere with Marty’s progress on Rhett’s behalf (which leads to Rhett half-heartedly grumbling about girlfriend loyalty). 

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk

Due to (theoretically) strict rules against co-ed sleeping arrangements, this isn’t something they run into much at the academy. However, in the event that they were to find themselves anywhere else that had bunk beds, it has been agreed that Rhett gets top bunk and Marty and Vanessa get bottom. This was not always the case. The first time they were in this situation and the three of them entered the room, Marty immediately bellowed, “Nessa, grab it!” Since Marty was very chivalrously carrying their bags, it fell to Vanessa to race across the room and scale the ladder to the top before Rhett had even fully registered what was happening. Rhett clumsily dropped his duffel, backpack, and lunch bag, somehow managing to trip over all three, before he dejectedly muttered, “Ah, crap.” The girls cheered and Marty popped up to give her champion a kiss over the railing. However, that night, they came to regret their decision. Of course, the two of them would never get up to too much mischief with Rhett right below them, but a tiny bit of casual “messing around” resulted in Marty losing her balance and flipping over the side. She landed with a rather alarming thud and an even more audible string of swear words. Rhett was so groggy that he simply rolled over to peer at her, shook his head, and mumbled, “Filthy animal…” before returning to his snuggly cocoon. Since then, the couple have agreed on a permanent call of bottom bunk, just in case, and Rhett is happy to take the top bunk he’s become accustomed to after years in the academy dorms. 

who starts and who wins the pillow fights

Marty starts them the most out of the three. It’s just too funny to watch Rhett’s indignant expression as his hair gets jostled out of place. The fights can go on for quite some time, even escaping the bedroom where it started on more than one occasion, but there was a surprising victor at the end of it all. Rhett had seen how easy Vanessa took it on Marty, careful not to give it a full swing, so nothing really prepared him for that final wallop so perfectly timed and aimed that it made him see stars. All it was missing were some tiny animated birds to circle his head and tweet. Rhett willingly admitted defeat that time, but he knew to watch out for Nessa’s hidden strength in the future. 

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush

Marty, most definitely. Rhett was all for nudging his two friends along back in the day, but never far enough that he was cooking up innuendos for them. Marty, on the other hand, has decided this is exactly the kind of assistance Rhett needs to finally “seal the deal with Syd O'Neill." 

"You know that’s not actually her last name, right?”

“Don’t dissect my poetry, Rhettrograde.”

[multiversemuses]

Rhanny for the brotop meme~~

Who steals french fries off the other’s plate?

Well, sometimes it’s just a french fry kind of day and they’ll ask for enough to have a big plate at the center of the table so they can split it. Other times, at certain restaurants that offer both, I could see The Eternal Conundrum being “Do I get french fries or onion rings on the side?” until they agree that one of them will get onion rings and the other one will get fries and then they can share and have a mix of both. About midway through these meals, one of them will blow lightly in the direction of the other and ask, “How do I smell?” “Like a garbage bag behind a McDonald’s.” “Mission accomplished.”

Who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple?

BOTH. They’ve definitely raised a few eyebrows and caused a couple of jaws to start dropping with how close they’ve let their faces get before turning away at the last second. But even after doing so, they keep the act going. “Sorry about that. I know he doesn’t like PDA but sometimes I almost can’t help myself. Just look at that face! Those blue eyes! Can you blame me?” Marty’s more than half-convinced this ‘playacting’ deserves further exploration. “I know these things, Rhetticelli. One of these days, your bromance will drop the b and slip in the D. And when it does, I won’t say, ‘I told you so’ but… I totally did.”

Who has to bust or bail the other out of jail?

Neither so far, but in this alternate universe where Danny’s still around I’m 100% sure that’s because they both got caught, Léonie had to go pick them up, and Detective Palladino made sure they got off with just a warning because he secretly has a thing for the teacher who came to retrieve them. She gave Dominic a grateful smile and a sincere thank you but OH GOSH the ride back to the academy was a whole other story. It literally takes like five minutes tops to get from Point A to Point B but, when the boys finally got out of the car again and started to head inside to their dorm, all the color had drained from their faces and their eyes were wide but trained on the ground. Danny warned in an overly dramatic whisper, “Don’t look back! Don’t look back! If you face her directly, you’ll burst into flames.” Rhett nodded fervently. “I got about two dozen items into my last will and testament in case we didn’t come back to this place alive.”

Who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues?

Rhett’s my lil’ advice-giver (much to his bemusement because he swears that he gives “negative two shits” about a vast majority of the drama that takes place under that roof). However, when it comes to his closest friends, he is invested in the outcome and genuinely wants things to work out for them. He kept nudging and encouraging Danny to ask out Nola for AGES. “Listen, Danny Boy, this girl’s special, right? So special you can already tell she’s one-in-a-million even though you’ve talked like… what? Less than five times? Think of it this way: if it’s that obvious to you this early, there’s a good chance it’s obvious to other people too, right? So what are you waiting for, man? You guys have got a connection. So connect, goddammit.” Rhett clapped Danny on the shoulder, laughed, and shook his head. “I believe in you, dude. Just go for it. If you wait too long and let her pass you by, you’ll regret it.”

Who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes?

Danny, especially during those side-by-side racing games at the arcade. Rhett pretty much always wins those and Danny gets desperate. Rhett tries to do the same in retaliation but Danny just brushes his hand aside because Rhett doesn’t have the same wingspan. “C’mon, man, that’s not fair! Just ‘cause you’ve got freaking spider monkey arms, I can’t get you out of my way!” He sputters as Danny’s fingers wave in front of his eyes and poke into his facial hair. “Would you just– I swear to God I’m gonna – Ah, crap. Yeah, yeah, yuk it up. Enjoy your hollow victory, ’cause I’ve got a pocketful of quarters to take back my title.” Rhett tries to give Danny a stern, challenging stare but he starts laughing at his friend’s victory dance in spite of himself.

Who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk?

Fortunately, since there are two beds in their dorm room, they can both sleep on an elevated mattress with their desks underneath. However, the big competition was for who could get the bed closest to the window. It was a mad dash to see who could climb the ladder faster, with both boys tugging each other down, pushing, scuffling, and just being comically frenzied. The duel ended with Danny prying Rhett’s fingers loose, letting him drop to the floor and crying, “Long live the King!” 

Who starts and who wins the pillow fights? 

Danny starts them, usually at times when he thinks things are getting a little too serious or Rhett has been oddly quiet. It’s a really quick and easy way to lighten the mood. A slow smile spreads across Rhett’s face and a competitive glint starts to twinkle in his eye. It’s all very high stakes, particularly since a well-placed hit could send them toppling from great heights. Which it ultimately does, when Rhett wins. Danny’s still on the ground, clutching whichever part of his body crashed to the floor first, laughing until his face turns bright pink. Meanwhile, Rhett triumphantly crows, “Pride Rock is mine now!”

Who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush?

Danny. Rhett’s wingman approach is a little more subtle than that (not to mention he could correctly tell you that such a statement would be coming on a bit too strong for Nola). Danny is the more eyebrow waggling, encouraging wink and nod type of hookup facilitator. It’s worth noting, however, that his job is a little easier because Rhett’s not looking for anything long-term yet. Trying to get your buddy someone to make out with in the back of their Mustang convertible is not quite as nuanced a task as trying to push them into the arms of someone who may very well be the love of their life. Even so, in the event that Rhett does one day find that special someone who makes him want something more permanent, Danny will be ready and happy to return the favor. 

[multiversemuses]

"I’m going to be sick."

Rhett laughed humorlessly. 

“Yeah, I already was so just avoid the dumpster behind Bitter Bob's unless you want another one of our bodily fluids to mix.”

He jerked back the handle beside his thigh and reclined. One of his arms folded across his eyes, blocking out the sun. Without peeking at where Zoe stood just a few paces away from the car, Rhett patted the passenger seat. 

“Get in,” he urged. “Leather is the best surface for questioning your life and your choices. Proven fact. It’s why they have those couches in shrinks’ offices.”

Rhett raked his hands through his hair and shook his head in dismay.

“How did we not find out about this sooner?” he asked as Zoe climbed in beside him. “Shouldn’t there have been some big The Parent Trap reveal where we both love Oreos in peanut butter or some shit? I guess the whole enhanced magic thing was our equivalent to putting our parents’ torn picture together, huh? Only Lindsay Lohan didn’t fool around with her British double before they got holed up in that cabin, so that makes us a little less Disney appropriate, I’m assuming. Then again, they’ve got the rights to Star Wars now, and we all know what happened with Luke and Leia, so who knows? Maybe they’ll be approaching us for the movie rights.”

Rhett lolled his head to the side and gave her a hint of his old half-smile. 

“Just one thing, and you’ve gotta promise me, okay? Don’t, for the love of all things holy on this good green earth - and I’m serious now - don’t let them turn us into a goddamn musical.”