#Doubt
She did it again.
‚It‘ made his heart ache and his stomach turn.
Because he could not help.
However much he wanted to.
So, he continued to pretend to be asleep. And let her squeeze that pillow, turned away from him. Doubting their relationship and their not-yet-existing child and this whole circumstance.
As if he didn’t know she did.
She didn’t want his support, though. Because she didn’t say anything, whenever he asked. But she doubted. Because it was forbidden. And it was not as easy for her to say ‘fuck it’.
He never wanted to make her feel like that. It was already terrible for him, he couldn’t even imagine how it was for her, with the whole ‘forbidden’ thing stacked onto them not being able to be together.
But he didn’t want to just… leave her alone with that.
So he turned around himself and snug an arm around her, breathing calmly, still.
She tensed. Of course she tensed.
When the tension didn’t leave for a minute, he nibbled on her neck: “I can feel you think from over here”
Nothing in her posture changed.
“Is it about the electric sheep?” He said, thinking he got the genuinely questioning tine rather right.
“… what?” At least the tension shifted a little bit.
“Well, if androids dream of electric sheep, how do they even know? Do they spark? Are they robotic? Do they even have wool anymore? It is difficult for them to jump?”
Richard could feel her slight frown forming,
“Or maybe they are just electricity. All sparkles and no body, just electrifying everything around them like an impossible floaty lighting-strike on legs!”
After a beat of silence: “… … are you dreaming of those?”
“Well, that would be amazing, wouldn’t it? Self-sustained lil electric animals? I mean… petting might be difficult, but reaaaaally bright!” It was kind of an intriguing idea, even as not-a-distraction.
“Bright, huh?” She relaxed the slightest bit.
“Yeah, not sure how you count them to fall asleep. But maybe good if you still want to read!” He raised a brow and snuggled closer to Trinity.
“… they dream of them, they are already asleep,” there was a little mirth in her words.
Richard kissed the back of her neck: “Mmmmh, but it’s much better to dream of yooou”
“It’s not about you. It’s about the androids,” always the logical lady.
“Mmmh, but I was thinking of good dreams. And if they dreamt of you, they would be,” he continued to nuzzle her neck and his hand wandered under her pyjama shirt to rub her belly.
It made her tense up. A mistake on his part. But she still answered: “I’m… not a sheep”
“You,” he nuzzled his nose into her hair: “… would be the cutest sheep ever” He pulled her closer: “… the softest, too”
She took a breath and chuckled, tangling her legs with his: “… you silly man”
“But look the amazing person I found myself in love with!” Another off beat. He guessed. But he still kissed her under her earlobe and whispered: “Because I do, you know? Love you. More than anything… and I’d also love for you to get a good night’s sleep”
She nestled against him. Gabbing is arm instead of the pillow, completely wrapped in him: “Sleep, mh?”
“Yeah, dreaming of electric Trinity-sheep”
She chortled: “I love you, too, you dork. Sleep well”
“Mmmmh”
She smiled, for the moment.
… it’s all he could hope for, really. And breathing in er lovely scent.