Writing is one of my biggest weaknesses along with adding and subtracting fractions. Nevertheless, I really want to excel on it so throughout these years I practiced. But after n years, I’m still not the next J.K. Rowling like what I aspire to be. An author who can touch millions of lives through her stories.
Back in college, I was surrounded by friends that write essays and papers like it was a piece of cake. As for me, writing is a week-long event. Sometimes even longer than that. I have to research first then read the material. After that I have to make an outline. Then this is the time that I can be ready to write. Slowly. Like a tortoise crawling through the sandy beach to get to the sea. And still not getting there.
It’s even worse when I have to write essays during exams. I know what to write but I don’t know how to write it. This is a huge problem because my course was heavy on theories and usually, you have to write essays in order to explain them. The most hurtful comment I got from one of my favorite professors was “What is this?!”. Yes, complete with the red ink and the question mark combined with the exclamation point.
Obviously, this took a toll on my grades. Believe it or not, I’m fine with it. The thing is, I don’t want to write papers that explains how St Augustine’s City of God applies to our country’s current social construct. I don’t want to sound stiff and scholarly and boring. I want to be a writer that moves people. When people read my work, I want them to laugh, cry or even get mad. I want them to be inspired. I want to write beautiful words that create beautiful stories that can transcend through time.
I’m still not able to reach this dream because first, I think that the way I was expected to write was to sound smart, stiff and scholarly. So I got stuck inside that box. Second, I’m ashamed of my work. I always say that I embrace criticism like it’s a gift. But on my writing, it’s a different discussion. I don’t remember a time that I willingly handed my paper to a friend so that she or he can proof read it.
In order for me to progress, I have to start somewhere. Right? What I did was I started a blog. I figured that if I write an entry a week, I’m bound to improve my writing skills. Plus, I joined a writing workshop! This is a big step for me because I’m weird with people especially to those I meet for the first time. But still I toughened myself up and went through with it.
One of the things that I learned at the workshop was that writing is a platform of ideas. This thought reinforced the desire with in me to be the best writer I can be. To be able to share my ideas and learn ideas from others is a dream come true. I have always wanted to be somewhere knowledge and information grows like a seed that matures into a majestic tree. And writing gives me this place, this corner in my life where I can just say what I want and be able to share it with people.
True, I’m still not the best author in town. I haven’t as much wrote a single story ever. But every person needs to take the first step in order to reach their goals. And this is me taking that first step. This is me sharing myself to you. Writing is opening yourself to the world and believing that you are worthy for it.
So stop procrastinating. Stop staring at that blank page. Stop waiting for an inspiration. Let the inspiration be you.
