#riley text

[rileykitty]

Art Fight

Hey hey if you're joining art fight this year link me your profile in the comments. Looking for some cool monsters and dragons to bookmark.

Trying to make this a low commitment kinda thing so it doesn't end up stressing me out, but maybe it can help get me out of art block.

My own profile is here and I'm on team fossil

[tinyzorua]

I don't really have the right words to describe just how angry and disgusted and insane that US bullshit makes me feel practically every single goddamn day. It's all horrific enough on its own but having to look at the news and hear the excuses and lies for every evil, corrupt action and knowing that this is probably another thing that one of your own parents is totally buying into without question haunts me every fucking time this shit happens.

I don't care any more whether this is more him being brainwashed and dumb as a fucking rock enough to swallow the most blatantly obvious lies I've ever seen in my life vs genuinely being a terrible fucking person. What's the difference any more? I'm tired of him putting on a sad little show of begging me for months now to talk again after I gave him so many chances to prove to me that he wasn't completely lost to all of this.

Fuck you. You wouldn't give a shit about someone like me if we weren't related and you stand for absolutely nothing but whatever you think will lead to your own personal gain. You've given me no reason to believe otherwise. I fucking hate you. And I hate that I hate you, but you deserve it. You'll probably die within the next decade and I'll have to feel terrible and conflicted about it, but that doesn't mean that I'm wrong to cut you out of my life. You never respected me enough to listen to anything I had to say about this, and you clearly never will.

[aldrichpalermo]

Text | Raldi

Aldrich: https://64.media.tumblr.com/820a131da4d65d1b91246797646e744a/6d64fd70f4ee7903-63/s1280x1920/e60e849e811cd3e9315d5c58e13be45703770d95.jpg

Aldrich: Buongiorno bellissimo. Ti amo.

[dr-astrid-zhang-mccoy]

Text --> Riley

Astrid: So Cisco's mom doesn't want to get to know me at all and thinks I'm a horrible person. 😭😭😭😭😭

[tinyzorua]

Man. It was such a nice change of pace to go on a short trip last weekend, but the vibe has been so fucking weird with my brother's wife since they got married a year ago.

I get the sense that she only felt like she had to be nice to me and the rest of our family until she locked in the marriage because like??? She has caused so many difficulties interfering with us even getting to see my brother as little twice a year now, and has always had something dismissive or rude to say when we do see them both.

Every time I just kinda sit there and take it and try to put it in the past, but I am increasingly getting the sense that she thinks I'm a total loser and a dumbass lmao. Trying not to let it get to me but it rly feels like getting kicked while I'm down when I'm already struggling with depression and feel like I'm barely hanging by a thread some days.

And the things she became condescending over this time were so??? Bizarre? Because each time it was her being very confidently wrong about a thing.

Example 1: My brother talks about getting tested for adhd, and she dismisses this as stupid based on him not fitting a certain stereotype. I share part of my own experience as predominantly inattentive and how I didn't realize it could present that way until I spoke to a psych as an adult. And her response is to ~undiagnose~ me and declare she gets to be the gatekeeper of such diagnoses because she's a (resident) pediatrician, and according to her, adults are not allowed to get a diagnosis. Which is laughably incorrect and misinformed: adult diagnosis happens all the time, criteria just requires evidence that the symptoms were present when you were a child. I don't bother continuing the conversation because it's not worth it and I don't feel compelled to spell out my life story to people with this attitude. The impression is that she thinks we both are simply lazy and want drugs. :)

Example 2: I talk about how I'm stressed out about being in a difficult position with healthcare in the US if I remain self-employed because my options are to limit my income to stay on medicaid, marry someone who has it through employment, or simply go without because I can't afford it. She starts with deriding me for bringing up marriage as a mean of benefits as though I planned to get into a relationship -just- for that when I've said no such thing, then proceeds to inform me that I'm not trying hard enough and "just making excuses" for being hesitant about going all-in on freelancing. Something I really feel hopeless and heartbroken about not seeming viable.

She goes on to tell me that her healthcare is "a lot" but manageable, then reveals it's about 700 a year while she's in the US. The healthcare she receives -through her employer-: a hospital. Which is entirely not my situation. I don't bother continuing the conversation because it's just not worth it! I don't feel like explaining to a -Canadian girl- who has no idea -what the fuck she's talking about- that her brief experience with this is not typical and that I'd be looking at something like 700 -monthly- without medicaid. But, like, sure. I'm just making up shit. I'm sure everyone else struggling with this is just making up excuses too, I guess. Lucky you, you can leave a year from now and not even have to deal with the US insurance mess at all for the rest of your life. Cool cool cool. Good talk.

She kept speaking to me like I'm an idiot all while being blatantly incorrect, and I didn't say shit back because I desperately needed these couple of days to be -good-. I rarely get to see my brother any more and the last thing I want is to take the bait for a pointless argument. My brother is one of the only family members I have a close relationship with and it feels like it's going to be taken further away from me because of this.

[tinyzorua]

I think the worst thing about currently being simultaneously unemployed and single is that it makes half of social interactions outside your friend group incredibly insufferable and humiliating! Leave me alone about being a loser failgirl at the moment unless you're going to actually be helpful, like offering me well paid work or if you know a cool lesbian that's single you can introduce me to.

[tinyzorua]

I met some distant relatives for the first time (great uncle and aunt) and wow right off the bat it was kind of soured for me when she got very very pushy about 'so are you planning on having kids.' And then 'well why not you OWE your parents grandkids so find a way to do it' when i was like 'well it's too expensive and i would probably only seriously consider it if i left the country.'

Like holy shit I literally just met you!?!? I'm still kind of reeling from how weird and rude this was. Girlie I don't know how to tell you that I look around me and struggle to see ANY way forward for having a fraction of a worthwhile life before factoring All Of That into it. And you're telling me that I'm obligated. You don't even know me.

[rileykitty]

I'm busy as all hell with the final two weeks of this semester but I'm going to lose my mind if I don't get back into the swing of art like. Now. So hold me to posting a finished piece by the end of this week. HOLD ME TO IT!!!! NO MATTER WHAT!!!!