I’ve been trying to get back into writing lately, and while it’s sort of going ok, it’s been a bit of a struggle. I couldn’t put my finger on why it’s been so tough to write, though, until I started going through some of my previous works and seeing how people responded to them.
One of the nicest, most disheartening comments I’ve ever gotten on a fic was something along the lines of “Wow, I loved this story so much, you’re a great writer. You wrote the characters really well and you’ve captured their dialogue/voices beautifully. You should pursue it professionally.”
Disheartening because it’s been years since I’ve gotten that comment and I think I’ve grown as a writer. I’m actually proud of some of the things I’ve written in the last two years. Proud that I can go back and reread my stories and enjoy them with fresh eyes. But now I get so few comments, so few interactions with my readers, such little response to works that take me days, weeks, months to write that when I sit down to work on my own stuff, I think “why bother?”
The marketplace is inundated with the type of original stuff I write, and while I like my little universes, I don’t see myself committing to writing out the stories in full. Those worlds and characters will die with me, never really getting shared with anyone else because I genuinely believe that no one else cares.
Because when it all comes down to it, I’m left wondering: If people don’t like my stories with an established fanbase and well-loved characters, why the hell would they care about seeing my original characters?
I know that writing is hard work. That people say you should write for yourself first, and don’t bother with what other people think. That you should write that book and try to publish it anyway, because you never know until you try.
But time is limited, and I have many different interests, and with no one else reading my works, I think I’ll keep my stories as amusements to get me through my commutes, as idle character sketches as I sit in on meetings or I’m stuck on the phone, and as Nano projects that keep me going through November and April, only to go dormant once those writing sprees are over.
Am I being an overly moody and needy writer? Probably. And I’m as guilty as the next person for not writing as many comments as I should, or for reaching out to writers whose works have gotten me through the end of long work days. When I write stuff now, it’s usually because I know that I have at least one person who is going to read it-- I don’t bother posting everything anymore, basically because I don’t think anyone will bother reading it if I don’t specifically ask them to. I might get a kudos or two, but that’s about it.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that if there is a writer whose work you admire, let them know in any way that you can, because you never know why they write (or why they’ve stopped), and I can guarantee you that they appreciate every little kudos and comment you can give them.
