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Haunting

Summary: Reader makes a habit out of entering the Upside Down months after Eddies Death. They're absolutely heartbroken, developing a deathwish. They're experienced in navigating through the upside down but pushing their luck like this, eventually something was bound to happen.

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, sfw

Pairing: Eddie x gn!reader (I tried) Song inspo: Haunting by Halsey for the present timeline Jump then fall by Taylor Swift for the past timeline

Content warnings: blood, crying, suicidal tendencies, Eddies death, smoking, drinking, Demobats, cursing, no use of y/n

Words: 5.7k

Note: Ok so the inspiration for this came to me while listening to haunting by Halsey while doing the dishes(??) And the words just made so much sense to me. So I had to get my hands dry multiple times to type everything down, like this hasn't happened to me in yEARS so, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. Any feedback is always welcome. Storyline of the past is in cursive, hope it's not too confusing divider by: @ nicodefresas

After a long day of tutoring students of all ages, it was finally time to go home. You left the local library and went to unlock your bike. That's when you heared a familiar voice calling your name. It was Dustin, jogging towards you, his hair had grown longer in the past few months and flowed underneath his cap. "Hey Dustin, how's it going?" you asked while removing the lock from your bike. "Uhh, you know, fine, just the usual stuff." he replied walking to his own bike. You smiled a sympathetic smile, you knew there was a lot going on for him too ever since you'd lost Eddie. "Still no hope for hellfire?" you inquired. "Nope," he replied shaking his head vigorously and sighed. Together you walked towards the street, pushing your bikes. "It might just be too soon," you tried to reassure him. He nodded, then after a moment he added: "but it's not too soon to finally check up on Vecna again. I'm really looking forward to this crawl meeting later this evening. You're coming too right?" he looked at you hopefully. Although you weren't sure you ever wanted to hear about Vecna and his plans again, you couldn't bear to leave your friends alone with all this trouble. "Well, it's not like anything has changed since the last time we were there. It's the same as always." "What do you mean? Anything could've changed, we haven't been there in about 5 months." Dustin replied. "I mean nothing has changed here," you emphasized, "they just shut those cracks and nothing ever happened again. Do you think it's different in the upside down?" "I mean it could be" he replied. "I'm just not so sure I want to know" you mumbled, "but yes, I will be there." you smiled at him. "And to be on time later, I have to hurry now. Safe me a seat?" you swung onto your bike and kicked the pedal. He looked confused at your sudden rush but you could still hear him call "sure" after you.

Once you finally were in your room. You put down your backpack and bookbag, sprawling out on your bed. You hoped Dustin hadn't noticed your little slip-up about how nothing had changed in the upside down. He was a very clever kid after all, but you probably needn't worry about it. With a sigh you got to your feet again, reaching for your bookbag and put it on the table to unpack and re-pack for the next day. On the bottom of it you felt something half crumpled under a book. You lifted the book to get whatever it was out gently. It was a small, yellowish post-it note a little rumpled but intact. On it there was written in messy handwriting: “u r my favorite impulse! E.” A shiver ran down your back. You closed your eyes, holding the paper to your chest with both hands. Just standing there, it was suddenly hard to breathe, as the memory of the very beginning of your relationship with Eddie Munson flickered up before your eyes.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Eddie had been serious about this year being his year, so he'd made an effort to find a tutor. His friend Dustin had recommended you because he knew that you'd helped Steve with homework sometimes. You had gratuated the same year as Steve and now tried to safe up on some money to maybe go to college some day. That's how you'd ended up in Eddies small room in his uncles trailer, trying to study. "You know what's the acutal problem for me?" Eddie spoke, breaking his focus again, "I can't concentrate long enough. I read a problem, try to come up with a solution and suddenly I feel all fidgety and it takes so much effort not to just get up and move." He leans back in his chair, frustrated. Your study meetings had only started four weeks ago so it was very helpful he opened up like that. Tapping your pencil on your lower lip thinking, you finally said: “Have you ever tried jumping?” He turned his head towards you with a confused look. “Jumping off what?” You gave a small laugh, “Not necessarily jumping off something, just jumping, like up and down," you held his gaze then went on: "Although I suppose, you could also jump off your bed or-.“ “A cliff,” Eddie interrupted. You squinted your eyes at him, lips slowly turning into a smile. “I’m serious Eddie, if it takes up all your concentration not to follow that impulse, it might be better to just follow it.” you put your pencil down and after a short pause added: “That can’t be applied to just everything obviously. If you really wanted to go for a smoke for instance, I'd rather you supressed that impulse.” He looked intruiged: “So maybe when I feel like having a smoke, I should just put a trusty old pencil between my lips huh?” he reached for your pencil, looking at the very clear marks your teeth had left at the end of it. "I mean, yeah that could work." you replied, snatching it from his hands, embarrassed. "You could also try jumping, I'm not stopping you."

"I like the way you're thinking." Eddie said, nodding approvingly. The smile he gave you made you blush. It was fun to spend time with him, despite the reputation that came with having to repeat senior year twice, he was actually very smart. You liked the way he challened your mind which was always racing. You liked the way he could make you smile. He got up then and walked to the middle of his room. You half-turned in your chair, looking at him. "Now come on, I'm not jumping without you" he exclaimed. "I'm not the one with the impulse Eddie" you replied smiling at him. "Oh, come on," he held out his hand "you wouldn't make me jump on my own." His smile was just too genuine to say no to. After all you'd been the one who'd suggested it in the first place. With a sigh you got up and went to him.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Finding that little message was enough for you to know where you needed to be. Your room felt too small for a moment like this. Receiving a message from your dead boyfriend that he had hidden when he was still alive wasn't something you could've prepared for. You needed to get out. Swinging onto your bike, kicking the pedals hard, you made your way to the trailer park.

Going back to the Upside Down was still enthralling. With every step you got closer to the gate your chest tightened. It hadn't been your plan to go there when you first went to the trailer again. But the gate was still there from what happened to Chrissy. You had been crying on Eddies bedroom floor multiple times, spent the night in his bed until someday it wasn't enough and too much at the same time. It was all too soft, too familiar, but now dripping with grief. That's when you decided to go through the gate again. In the first weeks, after losing him you'd punched the trees or kicked rocks. You'd screamed until there was no sound left to come out of your throat. You felt like there finally was a place to put all the rage you felt. The cold ground, the solid rocks and relentless bark of the trees that would leave your hands and knuckles bruised. You were angry. Cursing this eerie version of your hometown. Cursing Vecna, the Demobats. Cursing Eddie. Cursing him for the brave, yet foolish decision he'd made. Cursing yourself for cursing Eddie. Still wondering sometimes, whether there had been anything you could've done. You knew you couldn't have. You knew it wasn't your fault, but you hated life without him. About two months later, you hardly felt any of the energy that had come with your anger before. You just felt numb. Most times then, you just sat there, on the cold ground, leaning against a tree to feel the bark against your back or wandered around, kicking sticks or stones occasionally. The upside down might've been dangerous once, but now it was a place where you'd be left alone. Where no pitiful look or angry huff would ever meet you. Being completely honest, you didn't really care whether you ever were in danger when going there again.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You had been huddled over a paper, discussing the spelling of the word "until." "It's not like "ill" Eddie," you stressed underlining the two Ls of the word with your pencil. Eddie pouted still looking at the paper, "no look at it, you gave it a sad face." That's when he grabbed a pencil too and put two dots above the "u" of "until" which was written right next to it, turning it into a smiley face. "Now we're even," he looked pleased. "Well, of course it's sad, Eddie, it's ill." you replied, earning a laugh from him. "Very clever." he joked. That led to the two of you scribbling weird looking faces out of different letters that eventually turned into weird shapes and doodles of people or animals. You were laughing and pointing at each others masterpieces, making up names and scenarios for some of them. Shoulders brushing, eyes shining, you got lost building your own world. "Ok so this one loves their tea," Eddie explained pointing at a person with a W for hair, holding a mug. You added a bubble and wrote "man I love my tea" next to the person. On its right-hand side, there was a weird looking dog, standing on two legs that Eddie had scribbled there. "And this dog is clearly in love with him." The dog really was eyeing the w-person longingly. "Oh, but they don't notice it," you noted, refering to the fact that the w-person had their back turned to the dog. "It's a real shame," Eddie shook his head lightly which made you feel his hair on your upper arm. Only then did you realize how close the two of you were sitting. Both chairs not having arm rests, there was no border between you. As if he'd noticed it too you heard him inhale. Curiously you turned your head towards him, meeting his eyes. The ease of your silliness was still in the air but there was something else now. In the yellowish light of his desk lamp, his dark eyes looked somehow even warmer than usual. There was a glimmer in them now. When he said your name in a questioning tone you swallowed, noticing his eyes shifting from yours to your lips and back just once. “There’s an impulse I want to follow.” he held your gaze searching for signs of rejection. You could feel your heart beating in your throat making it hard to breathe. Then you managed to reply: “You know... I strongly encourage following your impulses.” The glimmer in his eyes seemed to brighten even more as you subtly turned your body towards him in your chair. Fingers gripping the edges of the paper on the table, desperatly trying not to lose your grip on reality, as you leaned in. Your heart jumped as your noses brushed and you could feel his breath, warm on your face. One last time, Eddie gave you the chance to back away. When you didn’t, he slowly closed the space between you. A shudder ran through your body when you felt his soft lips against your own and instinctively, leaned deeper into the kiss. Your head was shrieking with joy, all while slowly finding your rhythm kissing Eddie Munson (!!!) Slowly you let go of the paper you'd been clutching, to free your hand to find his cheek. The rough feeling of his slight stubble gave your body a new sensation, in contrast to his soft lips. After a moment you both pulled away for air. You studied his face. Were your cheeks as flushed as his? They surely felt like they were. He was so close, for the first time you could truly see all the different shades of brown that his dark eyes contained. Like the sun on autumn leaves, they radiated warmth. Enchanted by his eyes, you realized you wanted more. You wanted to kiss him again. Eddies voice broke through your daze, still a little breahless: “God, I love following impulses.” You gave him a chuckle,: "definitely the best advice I've given yet." He nodded while his hand found its place on the side of your face, his thumb stroking over your cheek sweetly. With his gentle hold on you he slowly guided you towards him again. The little gesture made your heart jump again, responding more eager to this next kiss. You knew from that moment on, you wanted to kiss him for evermore.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Without exception you always ended up wandering to the spot where Eddie had died. Sometimes you'd lay down, right there and look up at the sky, just to see what he must've seen in his last moments. To feel closer to him. It just broke your heart more. But with the pain, you felt connection. What if without the pain, there would be no way to feel him close anymore? It had been 5 months, but time had stopped the moment you'd seen him lying there, with Dustin crouched over him. Time hadn't passed for you. You hadn't really left the upside down after the battle that day, in your mind you were always there. Eddie was still there.

Little did you know that by the time you had reached your destination, your friends had gathered with Hopper and Mrs Byers to the crawl meeting you had wanted to attend too. When you didn't show up, Dustin got worried. While the others were only mildly concerned, considering you were still having a hard time because of your loss, he could hardly follow Hoppers words. Bouncing his leg nervously Steve, who sat opposite him, had already raised an eyebrow at him several times. Once there was a break, Dustin made his way to the door. Steve stopped him, grabbing his arm, asking what was going on. "I have a bad feeling, they said they'd be here." Dustin hoped this would be enough of an explanation but obviously it wasn't. "So what are you gonna do?" Steve pressed on crossing his arms infront of his chest, eyebrows furrowing in suspicion. "I'm gonna go look for them." That's when Robin joined in on their conversation: "where are you going?" she inquired. Steve told her about Dustins bad feeling. Dustin sighed and signaled for them to come closer as he shared more of his thoughts. "I am 99% certain they're going to the upside down, like regularly. Surely they are there right now." he explained. "I've suspected it for a while now but I wasn't sure. Today however, they said something about the upside down not having changed since last time we've been there. How could they know that?" "Only if they've been there" Steve mumbled. Dustin pointed at him approvingly "Exactly." "But...why would they ever do something so stupid?" Robin wondered aloud. Steves eyes fell on Dustin immediately. His friends behaviour had changed drastically too after losing Eddie. In the way the young boys eyes had dropped to the floor at her question, Steve knew that it wasn't at all stupid to him. He felt helpless thinking about how desperate you must feel, how desperate Dustin must feel to be able to relate. "Let's go get them" he decided. That's when they heared Nancys voice behind them. "Guys, come on, Hopper wants to go on" from the look on her friends faces, she knew she wasn't going back to that meeting either.

Sitting next to where Eddie had taken his last breath you whispered: "I got your message," trying to smile, you fumbled the little note from your pocket. "When did you put it there?" The first tear ran down your cheek. You stared at the dirty, cold ground, as if it might reply. With every passing minute of your silent tears falling, you felt the feeling of desperation fill every corner of you. "Come back to me?" your voice cracked, knowing there was no stopping what was about to come. You pulled your knees to you chest, clutching the little paper. The pain climbed through your lungs up your throat where in the back of it, it made itself at home. You shut your eyes and started sobbing. "I am here" you whimpered, feeling like you were losing your mind. "Please Eddie, just come back for me...please. I need to be with you." When there were no tears left, you felt entirely deprived of any emotion again. You let your entire body slump to the ground then, rolling onto your back, looking up at the sky. Dark clouds were moving into your vision, forming new shapes by the second. For a while you just watched the spectacle, feeling like those clouds might as well be in your head, fogging up every thought. Wiping your nose with your hand you noticed how cold your hands where. The tip of your nose and your ears were freezing too. Only then did you realize that since you'd arrived, the wind had shifted drastically. You knew this was a sign to leave because any change in the upside down would very likely bear something deadly. But you felt determination rise inside you. What was there to lose? Carefully rising to your feet, you smothed down the snot-stained sleeves of your jacket to keep warm. Tapping the small pouch on your belt you made sure that the only weapon you bothered to bring with you, a small knife, was actually there.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"Harrington, come here, I need to ask you a question." Once Steve stood by him, Eddie put his arms around his shoulder and pulled him a little closer. "Did she have you jump too?" Steve looked confused as what to do with this question. "Jump off what?" he asked an eyebrow raised. "Not off something, just jump. Like up and down." he demonstrated by nodding his head a few times. When there was still no sign of realization on the other boys face he added: "to concentrate better?" "No," Steve looked at him, "dude, how would that help?" You had been watching the two of them and enjoyed Eddies weird display of jumping. Now you joined them in the kitchen placing your drink on a counter behind you. "I didn't recommend jumping to Steve because I wasn't sure it would help him." you smiled. "Does that mean I was an especially difficult case?" Eddie looked at you with his big brown eyes. "No it doesn't, it means you were very good at telling me about your struggles, which made it easier for me to help you." you nodded at him reasuringly. "Also, she only helped me with homework," Steve lifted his finger, "occationally," he emphasised. "We didn't have to go through all of senior year." "You've made your point man." Eddie said giving Steve an annoyed look. "Don't worry, about it." you looked at your boyfriend lovingly, "there's a way to any brain, you just need to find it." "And you also found the way to my heart." Eddie replied, with a foolish smile. "And, I'm out of here," Steve announced before quickly slipping out under Eddies arm. "You know that was really cheesy." you smiled at him genuinley, reaching for his jacket as you stepped closer. "I didn't want him around anymore," Eddie said with a smug smile and leaned closer to you. "Now tell me, why'd you make me jump?" "Wanted you to fall," you winked at him, patting his chest before you slipped through the door, back to the others. "So it was a devious plan after all." he concluded hurrying right after you.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · · You heard them before you could see them. Demobats fluttering through the clouds. Still distant but moving towards you. Their screeches carried by the wind made your blood freeze as they made your worst memories resurface. You with Dustin and Eddie, locking the trailer door not a moment too late, realizing you had to flee back to where you'd come from. Eddie holding your hand, helping you up into his trailers living room just to then disappear out of sight. Confusion, panic, running, so much running. Then Eddie on the ground, his gaze unfixed, blood on him. You crumbling next to him, hands shaking, muttering a mantra of "you're ok, you're ok, you're ok" while clutching his still warm hand. Remembering how he had just held your hand moments ago. "You're gonna be ok Eddie." Stroking his hair from his face, running your hands along his shoulders, along his arms to his hands, over his waist up to his chest to then cradle his face in both hands. He felt alive, his body was warm. He had to be alive.

Dustin I think I know CPR." you began, taking of your jacket. Shaking his head Dustin protested saying your name "there's nothing we could do," his voice cracked, "he's gone." You shook your head frantically: "He's not," you pushed down on Eddies chest rhythmically, "he's not...gone," you brought out between puffs. "We have to at least try." you yelled. "I have to do something!"

Dustin just sat there watching you, silent tears travelling down his cheeks. You didn't hear his sniffles in your frenzy, you didn't hear him murmur your name again and again. Only when the blood seemed to overflow and Eddies body started to feel slightly colder than it should, you realized he was truly gone. "Eddie!" you shouted, sharp and angry. "Eddie!" your hands rested on his shoulders again, "you're here, how could you not be here?" You stared at him for what felt like eternity. He wasn't there. Not anymore.

You snapped out of your memory when you felt a swish of air, followed by a screech close to your head. The bats had arrived, and somewhere deep down, you were eager to get your hands on those creatures and in return feel their little sharp claws rip your skin open. Anger bubbled up in you when you grabbed the knife. Soon a dozen bats swarmed the place, taking lunges at you. You shouted at them, feeling like you might explode from the familiar rage inside if you didn’t. You shouted and stabbed at them, hardly doing any real damage. It felt like they were taunting you. Hardly ever getting close enough to you. Soon you felt the first cuts slashed into your arms and face and for a moment the sting that came with it seemed to really fire up your anger before it steadily seemed to succumb to resignation. "I'm not scared!" you shouted, your raspy voice getting lost in the wind. "I'm not scared...of you...fucks" you wheezed, voice getting lower with every word. Your energy was gone almost as rapidly as it had arrived. The moment had come, you were ready to go this way, to maybe feel what Eddie had felt, to maybe see him again. Relieved you loosened your grip on your knife and with the next impact, it fell out of your hands. You felt something wrap around your wrist tightly, and closed your eyes, ready to accept the fate you had brought upon yourself. Except the fate didn’t come. The torturing feeling of struggling for air you'd anticipated didn't come. The darkness didn't take over your brain. What was happening? There where voices shouting, thuds echoing, gunshots blaring. The thing that had wrung around your wrist loosened momentarily. Dizzily you opend your eyes, foolish enough to hope for a split second you might see Eddie. Your heart sunk immediately at the scene unfolding in front of you. It wasn't Eddie. Obviously. But still all too familiar faces. Steve and Robin were hacking away at the bats, Nancy shooting them out of the sky. Dustin entered your vision from your right-hand side, holding two spiked shields. Dustin who looked more and more like a smaller version of his idol, running towards you. “What are-“ “No talking, just moving,” Dustin ordered as he shoved a shield in one of your hands and gripping the other firmly. You didn't protest, what was there you could possibly say? Your friends had come to your rescue, risking their own lives once again, when you didn't even wanted to be rescued. How could you refuse to be rescued now? You headed for the woods you'd come from, hoping you'd be safe there.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

People were dancing and hanging around talking, just having a good time. You usually weren't much of a dancer in public but after the third drink you didn't refuse when Robin pulled you towards her for a silly dance. Somewhere across the room Eddie was in a passionate discussion with someone about DnD. You could tell because you could hear him yelling over the music. You were all staying at Steves house for the night but there was just something about being outside while drunk. Steve knew he couldn't really stop you when he saw the two of you by his front door. "Relax, were just going for a walk in your yard." Eddie explained. "Please don't, you're both dead drunk. You'll get yourself lost." he pleaded annoyed. "Oh he?" you asked pointing at Eddie, "he's not drunk... he's cursed" you announced, your wide eyes blinking at Steve. "Big difference Harrington, thought you would know." Eddie backed you up. You nodded approvingly, shaking your finger at Steve now in a reproaching way before giggling again. You were both goners and you loved it. This way your jokes hit differently, at least for the two of you. With arms around each other you turned and swayed out of the front door. The fresh air powering up your giddiness even more. You started spinning around, your arms outstreched, while Eddie lit a cigarette. As soon as you smelled the unpleasant smoke you turned to him, scrunching up your nose. "Noooooo Eddie, I was gonna kiss you." Your words made him chuckle: "Sorry baby, you know I'm really trying," he took a drag from his cigarette, "but when I'm drunk it's just too hard to resist." You eyed the thin stick between his fingers unimpressed, then looked at him. That made him smile, walking towards you, wrapping his free hand around your waist. You could feel the excitement in your belly. The lightheadedness caused by the alcohol made you want to just pull him closer and kiss him but you managed to contain yourself and leaned away in his grasp. "You smell" you stated. "Oh please," he chuckled, flicking the barely smoked cigarette to the ground. Now with both his hands free, he pulled you even closer to him. Yes, he did smell and you didn't like the taste of nicotine on his lips but you were also very drunk and very into him, and he knew that. "Kiss me anyway?" he pouted, giving you his best puppy-eyes. Wrapping your arms around his neck you pretended to still consider it, then shook your head in disbelief:"You're way too lucky for a cursed man," you teased. "I know I am," he chuckled, squeezing your waist. You looked at him, wondering how he was real, how he was here, choosing you every day. "I'm really so in love with you" you admitted. Once he had grasped the meaning of your words, his drunken gaze seemed to clear a little. That's when you pulled him towards you, meeting him in a playful, yet passionate kiss. He looked stunned as you pulled away again, breathless. "Baby, you steal the air right out of my lungs when you say things like that." the glimmer in his eyes made your heart jump. "Nah, it must be those cigarettes," you joked nuzzling your face in his neck as he pulled his arms around you. "I am so in love with you." he whispered, smiling.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

As soon as you and Dustin had taken off running, some bats chasing you, the others followed you as well still taking down as many of the creatures as they could. Once you were deeper in the woods, they didn't try to get to you much longer. Leaning against a tree, you sunk down to the ground. The whole time Dustin had not let go of your hand. "What were-" Dustin tried to speak once your breathing had finally gone back to normal.

"What were you thinking." Steve beat him to it, still out of breath walking toward you determinately. As you struggled to your feet, Dustin let go of your hand but stayed next to you. Steves eyes scanned your face examining the cuts. "What did you think we would do if we lost you too?" he pressed on, voice sharp. There was pain in his eyes. Pain, confusion, anger? helplessness?

You felt ashamed under his intense gaze. His shirt dirty and sweat on his face all just to safe you. "Not worry about me anymore," you mumbled eventually, avoiding his eyes.

"We are worried because we care" his voice grew louder, exasperated he ran his hand through his hair, placing the other on his hip. His eyes full of disbelieve still on you. "You cannot just go off on your own in a fucking hell dimention." he shouted, his voice cracking.

"You shouldn't have to worry, you shouldn't even be here right now. You should've just let me go."

"Listen to yourself" he shouted, grabbing your shoulders. His sudden movement startled you. "are you completely deranged?" he went on, his eyes big, staring at you as if trying to find an answer your voice couldn't give. Not deranged, just desperate, you thought. You felt guilty now, for putting them through this. That clearly hadn't been your plan. There hadn't been any plan at all. Your chest ached and you knew sooner or later you would start crying.

"Steve" Robin muttered from behind him, trying to calm him down. "Steve..." he was still gripping your shoulders, not taking his eyes off you. "Steve! that's enough" Dustin snapped at his friend, who only then, seeming to realize how harshly he was holding you, dropped his hands in an instant. Dustin shook his head at him putting himself between the two of you. Steve made room for him, taking a few steps back. Looking over his shoulder to check if Nancy was still on watch for the bats. He gave you an apologetic look before turning and walking away. By the time your eyes met Dustins, tears already threatened to fall. It was only a matter of seconds now. Dustin must've noticed because he wrapped you in a reassuring hug. With that, the knot was untied and the tears spilled free. You felt his fear slowly leaving his body. You could feel how relieved he was, they hadn't been too late. "I'm sorry," you brought out between sobs. "I'm sorry, I didn't-. I-I'm sorry." You felt the young boy squeezing you tighter and felt even more ashamed. Dustin was still so young and had been with Eddie in his last moments, and he was the one comforting you? "It's ok," his voice creaked, signalling that he too, was crying, "I-I... understand." he muttered. Of course he understood. The thought of Dustin struggling with the same horrible feelings of hopelessness and pain made you want to never let go. To be there for him like Eddie had been, to support him. To tell him it would get better. A tiny feeling, as if lit by the tiniest match, awoke somewhere deep in your chest and you thought that maybe, it really was ok that they had found you in time. Maybe you could continue on, even without Eddie. For him, for Dustin. Unified in grief you felt comforted, when you'd thought you could never feel like that ever again. Through your tears you saw Steve coming towards you, wiping at his eyes before joining your hug. Robin wrapped her arms around you as well and you felt Nancys hand on your back. For what felt like an eternity, you just cried. All your emotions could just be, the heartbreak of losing Eddie, the joy of loving him, the fear of what was to come without him. The gratitude for having such wonderful friends, the pain of feeling how they were hurting too. After a while when all of you had untagled, Steve apologized, explaining how helpless he felt, how worried he was. You couldn't help but notice how his gaze wandered towards Dustin again and again. All of them told you how glad they were to have found you in time. All the way out of the upside down you felt the warmth of your friends never straying too far from you, like they were afraid you might bolt right back to where they had found you.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You would very likely never see him again, hear him laugh, feel his body against yours. You would very likely miss him forever. It would forever be unfair, the way he had to go. The way your romance was cut short. Some days the grieve would take you under like a tidal wave, other days it would wrap you in nostalgic comfort. Your grief made you open up more to Dustin, and in your shared pain you found a reason to keep going. Now you looked for deeper connections with your friends, going on little rides around town with Steve, browsing music with Robin. Anything to stay in touch with those you loved and who loved you. As long as you were there, as long as everyone who knew Eddie, was still there, so was he. Rest in love, Eddie Munson.

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