#ripalec

[tessherold]

[swimt0reachtheend]

I tilt my eye to the edge of my bright laptop screen and see you standing there, a wild rose in a yellow field of dandelions. the weeds around you take over and you disappear, quietly in a city in the south.  I long for the unique bow shaped stem, the long leaf fingertips, and wild, dying rose petal mind.  No return, forever you said, forever you want to leave the world of toxic and enter one of bliss. I want to join you, though I am a dandelion myself.

[liddosmurf]

Thursday night was pretty sick. #driftnight #AdamsTrack #RIPAlec #DriftInParadise (at Drifting Track)

[swimt0reachtheend]

forever on my wrist

[swimt0reachtheend]

in 5 minutes it will mark 1 month since you called me and I didn't pick up. in 10 it will be the last time you texted lexi. in 20 will be when you pulled the trigger for real. in 30 will be when maggie called graham to make sure you were okay. in 35 graham saw you on your bed. in an hour your first of 5 "life saving surgeries." in another 24 hours it will mark one month of you being (gone) happy. 

[swimt0reachtheend]

one month ago tomorrow at this exact time you pulled the trigger

i hope it was into happiness, because all that is here is hateful doubt and high school hickeys

[swimt0reachtheend]

no one even bothered to take it seriously because, let's face it, he was an asshole most of the time

[swimt0reachtheend]

Alec,

Today is hard. I saw lexi. I hope you saw us naked together. I think you would have been laughing. I'm trying to be happy. I've opened up my windows and curtains- something I haven't done since monday. I have a motivation mix on and i'm going to get some stuff done. I hope you're well. We miss you.