I knew, I KNEW that fucking ring would let me down again.
I hoped and prayed, and I mean..fuck I didn't even really like Jeremy but then Elena and I'm like "No...nope... not real...final moments gasp of air...okay? NOW!.... PLEASE?!?!?"
But Matt though...just.. FUCK EVERYTHING. He's got everything wrong I mean the show started with him taking care of his home, then gone is Elena, then Vicki is gone, Caroline is with Tyler, Katherine nearly gets him killed VIA Tyler... just fuck everything. My Matt feels are ridiculous right now. I refuse to even.. I CAN'T EVEN...just FUCK man..
I am actually BLOGGING ABOUT THIS!! THEMS IS MY FEELS!!!
I refuse to remain on this site waiting for burning Jeremy/Matt car creys gifs. I refuse. My heart cannot take this!!
And the fucking diary..no... no I'm done talking about this.
I'M GONNA GO PLAY IN THE LAND OF HAPPY STEREK FOR A FEW months weeks days hours.
Text: Does that ring work on Jer since he's one of the five or whatever? Because I'm going to literally shove the XBox controller down his throat if he doesn't put it down.
Send my muse a text you meant to send to someone else, and they'll reply.
[text]: Hey, Dick. Wrong person.[text]: It probably doesn't. [text]: So, stop being so sour over the fact that I beat you.[text]: I'll try to go easier on you next time.
I LOVE YOU. SERIOUSLY. CAN I PLEASE JUST HUG YOU AND FEED YOU AND JUST CAN YOU GET STUCK WITH ME FOREVER? I STILL FIND YOU INTIMIDATING OKAY NOT GONNA LIE. EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE ONE OF THE SWEETEST PEOPLE I KNOW OOC AND YOUR DAMON IS JUST SHFAJKDFHLA.
Summary: The night of Jeremy's death Bonnie Bennett finds it hard to sleep even after being saved.
Disclaimer: This is how I personally picture how Bonnie is affected by Jeremy's death.
ENJOY THE READ IF YOU DO CLICK. <3
Bonnie isn't sure if she's slipped into slumber but she's back in a place she doesn't want to be.
She's watching Jeremy try to release the cure from the clutches of Silas. There will be another way, there has to be. Bonnie is not going to feed her blood to Silas and neither will Jeremy. She watched as he pounded the rock furiously against's Silas' body. "There's gotta to be a way without raising him." All she could hear are the grunts emitting from Jeremy's mouth as he continued to beat the rock against the desiccated remains of Silas. "We'll find a-" She told him abruptly as she felt the knife twist into her back. Bonnie made an incoherent noise followed by a gasp as she is laid gently down on the ground. She clutched her wound, feeling the immediate flow of the crimson saccharides meet the floor, her arm, and clothes.
Bonnie feels the sudden kicking in of paralysis as she watched Vaughn and Jeremy fight. She can't remember what happened next as she closed her eyes, terrified that she can hear the pounding of fist on fist. She wanted to get up but with this wound she is useless...
But..Elena comes..and everything must be better. She is relieved...
She can only manage a weak smile as she can taste the saltiness of her own blood. Bonnie looked at him, there is concern in the hint of Jeremy Gilbert's eyes. "Elena's here okay. Everything's going to be all right." He said breathlessly. He must be tired from his altercation with Vaughn but his words soothe her while her wound does not. "W-we did it.." She mustered.
Her worries are alleviated like she was on the day of her driver's test. The look she had when she found out she had passed the test, like a coming of age test that everyone went through. However, this test has tested their ability to find the cure that is mumbled into a legend. Bonnie can only feel peace as if she were on the day on the beach and Jeremy's face can only affirm that. She can only allow the feelings in her heart to flood as she is slowly forgiving Jeremy, that there is a chance that he's changed. There's a chance for them to be together. His smile comforted her and she can only wince because the pain is becoming unbearable but she won't die because Jeremy will save her. Elena too.
She watched and heard as she Elena and Jeremy are fighting. Elena wanted the cure and that much is understandable. They had been searching for this life long and that's fine, so long as someone can rid her of this ache in her abdomen. Jeremy's voice is full of regard to her well being but it is the only sick realization as she heard Ele-Katherine say, "I forgot what a brat you were. I'm done playing nice."
Another fight is breaking out and she's confused at what has happened. Katherine and Jeremy are by Silas and she's begun to hear Jeremy's groans. It is too fast for her mind to even comprehend but Katherine has sunk her teeth into Jeremy's neck and the sounds that emit from Jeremy's mouth are those of pain. It is the sound of a person who didn't want to be fed from and that is only the first of things that began to echo in her mind. It's something that will be etched into her mind for as long as she lived.
Then the small groans turned into piercing screams as if a knife had cut meat cleanly. Bonnie tried to move her body or her mouth but there is nothing coming out. Her own strength had dwindled and she heard the crackling snap of his neck. Then it is the sound of his body meeting the floor and her eyes meet his eyes. The only sound she can make is a raspy gasp as her own heart shattered. It is not Jeremy Gilbert who just dies in this cold, dark lonely place spaces apart from her it is the hopes that she has for both of them that dies. There will never be another moment between them where he can help her up, there will never be that reassuring gaze he gives her, no one to calm her down, no laughter, or even that boyish cute smile from that handsome face of his. She will not be able to tell him in front of his face that she's still in love with him. Even the simple words: I forgive you can never be said. This is the end of their awkward..bitter sweet relationship.
It is the beginning of her doubts that linger in her mind. Even when she tries to do so much, it is never enough. She somehow is put at a disadvantage and the end result: the people she loved are dead.
The feeling of her body beginning to shut down like city lights slowly turning off begins to kick into her emotions. She has lost the power to feel for many nights. Bonnie closed her eyes once more.."P-please I'm dreaming.." Shaking her head, knowing she will die helplessly alone. She has watched the boy she loved die in front of her eyes. It only leaves a trauma in her head. "S-someone please!" She yelled. "P-please...just this once..help me... I-I won't ever ask again! I promise. S-save Jeremy. G-grams! I-I need you...Grams.." Bonnie can feel the invading sting in her eyes but before she knows it droplets begin to streak down her face. Slowly than gradually.
Bonnie closed her eyes and she's find herself moving a little bit and there is a man here..is she going to die? "D-D.."
Bonnie's body wakes up with a jolt as she woke up screaming, she looked around. She is in unfamiliar room, it is neat and there are books scattered around. Bonnie touches her face wiping the tears away, her petite body is trembling. She doesn't want to sleep tonight, if she does all she will see is Jeremy dying. It's like seeing her Grams dying all over again and the burden is unbearable...
It's her fault.
Bonnie moves to her side as she looked over to the window, clutching the pillow, and it's unfamiliar scent.
