Just posted a new work on AO3 called "Deep In the Mess Hall". It's a fluff-and-smut-shot; intended to just be fluff but, well, the smut wrote itself. LOL.
It starts with Levi overhearing conversation in the Mess Hall, and... That's all you need to know hehe
Snippets: Girl talk. Nosey, cleaning Levi. Tiny paper balls. Hange has to pee. Bad kisser Eren. Scarf kicking. Levi in a mess.
(Shout out to Nuri, I love when she does little snapshots)
I tried something slightly different with the spicy writing; veering into not going into too much graphic detail but still building sensory imagery. Hopefully it worked out! Cheers to trying new things!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapter Title: Written in the Stars
Summary: After their travels, Levi and Mikasa have a hard time adjusting to normal life in Paradis. Armin and Mikasa reminisce about Eren. The Scouts receive an unexpected letter from Marley, and Levi feels he has no more time to spare.
Final Chapter is officially out. I’m in disbelief, but I’m also excited and satisfied and happy and sad and thankful to have reached the end. I love this story so much. It was definitely a passion fic. Again, I’m sorry it took me the longest to get this chapter out compared to any other chapter! There were so many hurdles!! But I hope it was worth the wait and it doesn’t disappoint you. <3
Thank you once again to every single person who has ever read this story or taken interest in this story, and especially thank you to all who have and will read to the end!! I have all of my sappy thank you’s at the end notes of this chapter, but I want to express it here too. I am insanely thankful for all of you!! You gave me excitement and motivation to see this story through til the very end. Thank you endlessly!! Please please please enjoy!!!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Screaming, crying, throwing up at Chapter 15 finally here!!!!
I’m not even gonna say anything other than I worked really hard on this one. <3 I hope you love it as much as I do.
Chapter Title: It’s Always You
Chapter Summary: Following their escape, thick storm clouds loom above Mikasa and Levi as they seek safety in the old barracks by the abandoned airship hangar. All cards are on the table as their fears beg to be left behind at long last.
NOTES: I made a fun music playlist for this in the beginning Notes! You can read along and listen to songs that I envisioned for certain scenes.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapter 16 is up!! aSJKasjlalsJKDSAI I know it took two weeks to update but I hope you enjoy this one :’) Lots of important slowed down moments for both of them, but still lots of fluffy moments and a couple of fun moments hehe. I can’t believe there’s only one more chapter left -- and it’s a promise this time! It’s literally only one more chapter worth of content left... WILD.
There is a bit of this chapter that leaves part of it open to a cool sequel idea. We will see!
Chapter Title: Diamonds in the Rough
Chapter Summary: In the middle of the countryside, Mikasa and Levi meet an elderly man who seems rather curious about Levi. The two soldiers experience a slice of normal life on their last night in Marley, leaving them in their late-night contemplations. Commander Magath reviews the report of local sightings of the Ackerman devils.
After Eren disappeared in Marley, the Scouts have no choice but to go back home to avoid blowing their cover. Mikasa and Levi both come to new realizations the first night on the boat.
Word count: 2,866
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A light sea breeze whispered across the beaming orange ocean waves that crashed against the ship; sea spray misted onto Levi's relaxed face as he leaned over the rails, making the air taste like salt on his lips. The dancing of the water in the unending horizon kept him in a steady trance — there was a beauty to it that the seasoned soldier wanted to stop to embrace, even for a moment. Years ago in the Underground, he'd never even imagined a world in sunlight, let alone this blue-turned-red desert of water ahead of him. Levi had seen the sunset many times during battle, but this was the first time he’s gotten to simply watch. Golden hour sun shined bright and mixed in with Levi’s deep blue eyes. Not bad, he wanted to say aloud — until his peaceful moment was interrupted by Connie throwing up over the railing not too far from him.
"Sorry, Cap... Just a little seasick, hah!" Poor boy still had a dribble of puke resting on his chin as he smiled awkwardly at the captain. Levi quickly chucked a white linen handkerchief just in time at him before he almost wiped the vomit with the sleeve of his tailored suit. Connie took two quick wipes before attempting to hand it back to Levi, whose face was winced with disgust.
“For fuck’s sake, just keep it. I insist.” Levi took a step back before grabbing the spare white linen handkerchief he always had in his back pocket, and gently wiped his own hands even though he had zero contact with the vomiting boy. He glanced around the deck as Connie thanked him. “Connie, where are the others?”
Connie pushed off of the railing and stuffed the dirtied linen into his pocket, making mental note to do laundry as soon as he got back to his cabin. “All asleep already, Captain. Ah—except Mikasa...” Levi’s eyes turned towards the cabins as Connie continued. “She seemed… Well, you know… Ever since...” Yellow eyes fell in a tinge of worry before the two men fell silent. The sun finally slipped beneath the horizon, and the water began to shift to a hazy purple.
It was hard for Connie to talk about it — it was hard for Levi, too. They all came to Marley. All of them. And yet they were on the ship again returning to Paradis without Eren Jaeger. Where he went, no one knew; not even Mikasa, who seemed to always have permanent tabs on him. Mikasa, who not too long ago was cheerfully eating her 5th order of market ice cream and laughing at Levi for not liking sweets. Mikasa, who blushed when the Captain complimented the blue of her bowler hat. Mikasa, whom Levi had to carry back to her room when the scouts got too drunk in Ramzi’s village. A smiling and laughing Mikasa, who was now utterly depressed.
Connie bade the Captain a 'night as he shuffled on the swaying deck back to his room still queasy, leaving Levi alone staring at the sky which slowly began to turn to navy blue. Dim stars began to peek out to keep the lonesome captain accompanied in his lost thoughts.
Levi couldn't really admit it, but he felt responsible for it all. Not regretful, just... responsible. And maybe not so much responsible for that damn Jaeger disappearing, but for the current state of Mikasa Ackerman.
When Mikasa found out Eren was gone, she panicked. Three days of searching to no avail. In the end, it was Levi who made the stern and final decision to leave Eren, and not risk ruining their cover. When she begged Levi to leave her behind that morning, he could've sworn Mikasa had the same detesting look in her eyes as she did when she first saw Levi long ago in the courtroom during Eren’s first trial when he told her no.
Mikasa hated him once again, he thought. Fuck. The idea of Mikasa loathing him used to entertain him. This time felt different. Seeing her pained because of him no longer sat right with Levi. Levi paced back and forth, more restless than usual because Mikasa Ackerman hating him was the last thing he could want. How the hell do I cheer that gloomy brat up? Ice cream? Flowe—what flowers does she even like? What the hell could cheer up a woman like Mikasa Ackerman?
The captain took a deep breath. The pacing and questions about flowers came to a halt as Levi looked up from his leather shoes and lifted his face to the stars that were glowing bright now. The cool night breeze sent a chill up his spine beneath his white collared shirt and jacket.
The night view of microcosmos glimmering across on the calm waters was unbelievably beautiful now. It brought Levi back to his training days with Isabel and Farlan; the late nights staring up at the sky from the castle walls dreaming of the future. Of all the people in the world, those two were the only ones who mattered to him. “Life is good, bro!” he remembered Farlan’s words vividly, “As long as you’ve got people to love.” He blinked, still staring at the skies, still contemplating that thought; people, someone to love. Did Levi even have that now that Farlan and Isabel were gone?
His curious eyes continued to wander the skies until he locked onto a single star; larger than the others, it glowed blue and much brighter than the hundreds — no, thousands — of others that surrounded it. No matter where Levi looked, he kept finding himself staring at that blue star again and again. Out of the sky's ocean of lights, it was the only one that begged for his attention. It was a gem, one of a kind, rare, admirable, and nothing else shined like it in the darkness. He wondered what made it shine the way it did, and how the hell it was the only one he could see. He gulped.
It reminded him a lot of—
"Captain?"
A soft voice rose from behind Levi and caught him by surprise. He looked over his tense shoulder to see Mikasa peeking at him with tired and heavy eyes. Judging by the nightgown under her pink cardigan and the bedhead, Levi knew she was just as surprised as he was to see anyone on the deck this late into the night. "Mikasa, you should be resting."
Mikasa chuckled, bringing relief to the Captain who thought she hated him, then let out a slow sigh from her lips. "I could be saying the same to you, Captain." Her dainty hand lifted to her short raven hair as she shuffled it all back into place, suddenly embarrassed at her unkempt appearance in front of her superior. Levi finally faced her and watched as she sluggishly brushed off her wrinkled clothes. A smirk fell on his face, as he found the rare scene of a disheveled and embarrassed Mikasa strangely endearing. His head tilted as something felt like it was missing.
"Your scarf—" Levi pointed out the missing garment, immediately biting his tongue wishing he hadn’t brought up something that could be a sensitive subject to her. He expected the brat to burst into tears and run back to her room, but instead she simply came forward to stand closely beside Levi. Both were now looking out to towards the dark of the sea. She leaned onto the railing of the boat and pouted.
"I... Don't want to wear the scarf these days."
Mikasa was strong. Levi always knew this. Hell, she was the humanity's strongest second to himself, and he could always rely on her strength on their missions. Yet somehow, even in the midst of her bedridden and sullen sadness, even in the moment she felt completely betrayed by the one she loved, she seemed even stronger in this moment. He knew she was pushing forward. He felt it. Memories of many years ago flashed to Levi; the moment of giving away Petra's patch to a soldier who needed it more. He knew exactly what that scarf meant to her, and how much more it meant for her to put it aside, even for tonight.
The breeze picked up and turned cold, making her strands of black hair dance around Mikasa's beautiful face. Her cheeks had become sunken and her skin looked more dull from the days straight of crying, yet Mikasa undoubtedly remained the most stunning woman Levi has ever known — for far more reasons than the bit of wind that caressed her face or the moonlight that reflected brightly off of her pale skin. In Levi’s eyes, Mikasa was glowing. He blinked.
A star that shines brighter than the others.
"Mikasa, I hope you know..." Levi started, turning again to the abyss of the sea. "I wanted to find Eren. We tried. We really did." He turned around now leaning his back onto the railing, hands falling into his pockets to avoid fidgeting in front of her. He couldn't even look at her anymore. "We had to leave. We had to prioritize our mission. And I'm sorry I couldn't leave you behind."
"You were right, though, Captain." Mikasa wrapped her thin cardigan around herself tightly. "I couldn't have stayed there. I don't know what would've happened to me if I did. But why..." She paused, then turned her face to Levi again, "Why didn't you just leave me?" She shook her head, thinking of her parents and now Eren. “Everyone leaves.” More memories flashed of begging Levi to leave her in Marley — she remembered the gentle voice of her Captain as he told her to calm down, and his surprisingly delicate touch as he held her arms from her defiant hits. Mikasa knew she could've been punished for her insubordination, but in that state of panic, nothing mattered. At the time and in the height of her emotions, she'd have preferred to fall dead than move forward knowing Eren willingly left her, and that she may never see him again.
But she remembered the words Levi said to her at that moment; words she had never once heard from Eren. If she hadn't cried so much earlier in the day, she would have had more tears to shed at that moment.
"Stay with me, Mikasa. I'll never leave you behind."
Levi stopped to ponder her question. "Mikasa." He turned directly facing her now, voice strong and reassuring, "I stand by my word to you that day. You have no reason doubt me." He couldn’t bring himself to say it, but at that time when Mikasa screamed to leave her behind, Levi knew that wasn’t what she actually wanted.
He quietly laughed for a moment before patting Mikasa's head. His hand lingered for a moment before pulling back to himself. "The gloomy brat who begged to be left behind was just pleading for someone stay beside her. So I'm staying." Levi looked far out to the calm sea now, unnerved by how openly he was talking now. "But I also need to keep the brat safe."
Levi realized he gave Mikasa his promise that day not to temporarily ease and shut her emotions, but because it’s a promise he knew he had already internalized for years. He would never leave Mikasa’s side, and he knew her pained heart needed to hear that. It wasn't because he didn't think she was capable of taking care of herself if she was alone — because hell, she was Mikasa Ackerman — he simply knew she shouldn't be alone. And if his pride didn't hold him back from admitting, Levi didn't want to be without Mikasa. "If staying back there to find the shitty guy was actually what you wanted—" he paused, "...If that's still truly what you want, Mikasa, I would turn this boat around for you." Her eyes narrowed and she listened closely as Levi spoke. "And I would go with you. I told you, I'm not leaving you behind, Ackerman."
Mikasa, taken aback, laid her eyes on Levi and noticed the steel color staring behind the curtain of his hair that always hung at just the right height. There was a gentleness in Levi's eyes — he didn’t look at her with pity as she expected. No. There was deep intent; the kind that someone begging you to understand would give. And she understood. Levi wasn't going anywhere. For a second, Mikasa shivered and her shoulders tensed, unsure if it was from the brisk air or... something else. Levi took his suit jacket off with ease and delicately placed it on Mikasa's shoulders.
Not surprisingly so, the jacket smelled clean and crisp. Warm. Comforting. Her face flushed with a tinge of red, and both soldiers' eyes were locked onto each other’s now. She could always describe Levi as clean and crisp, being the clean-freak that he is, but… Warm? Comforting? Loving? Was that really what he was being to her right now? It reminded her much of the moment Eren wrapped the scarf around her. There was a sense of absolute safety and security then, a sense of saving her from the abyss, and that was the moment she fell in love with…
Mikasa suddenly shot back from the railing, breathing heavily and startling Levi. "Mikasa? Mikasa, what’s wrong?"
She was utterly overwhelmed. The concern in his voice. The sincerity in the way Levi stepped towards her. The care in his words. The undoubted promise of never leaving. The sweet sound of her name rolling off of his tongue. And that fucking love in his eyes as he looked at her.
"I need to go, Levi."
Mikasa didn't spare a look as she ran away from her Captain and bolted to her room, didn't even stop as she listened to Levi calling out her name. She couldn't handle any of it. Mikasa had loved Eren all her life, and it hit her: she had never once been loved back by Eren. She had never once heard that concern in his voice, or felt that sincerity from him. She could never hear Eren promising he'd never leave her; if he ever would, it would never feel secure with her. She had never even seen Eren look at her the way Levi did just now.
Mikasa had never truly felt loved and cared for by any man, until now.
Levi...?
She shut the door behind her, leaning against it and sliding down til she met the ground. Mikasa didn't think there were more tears to cry today, but there they flowed again. She wiped her tears with the sleeve of Levi's jacket still on her shoulders, and stared at the fabric. His steel eyes flashed in her mind once again. When did she first see that in Levi's eyes? Her head fell back against the door as she looked up, tears still welled up. Levi has always been like that, hasn't he?
The thought of experiencing love with someone new felt frighteningly comforting and terrifying all at the same time. But Mikasa's heart continued to ache. Loving Eren was like growing a flower in a dream that could never come true. When he disappeared, he left her. And if that's what love with Eren will always be like, there is only so much of that love her heart can handle. Mikasa bit her bottom lip. She couldn’t admit just yet that she wanted a love that was secure and safe.
Levi.
Mikasa continually repeated his name on the tip of her tongue, like a calming chant, until she fell asleep on the cool ground in her loving captain's warm jacket.
...
Levi still stood in place, in complete shock at the sight of Mikasa Ackerman running away just moments earlier. He supposed he could've ran towards her, but Levi could read that damn girl like a book, and she just needed space. Levi was eternally patient with her — how could he not be? And as he looked up at that glowing blue star once again, his lips curled upwards as the realization settled in.
Shit. I’m in love with that damn woman, aren’t I?
He stirred in all the words that were said, and the words that weren't. “Goddammit, Farlan,” he kicked a pebble on the deck, chuckling quietly to himself before repeating his old friend’s words aloud, “Life is good as long as you have someone to love.” Levi walked past Mikasa’s door, and into his room. Thoughts of the raven haired woman’s smile lulled the love-struck captain to a rare slumber.
...
...
A knock.
Levi shot out of the uncomfortable chair he fell asleep in, surprised at being able to dream through the morning sunbeams. His head thrummed with a slight ache, and he was unsure if it was due to the stress of last night or the rigid chair. He opened the door of his room, and Mikasa stood before him — a look of determination painted on her face.
"Levi. I want to go back to Marley. I want us to go together."
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Hello friends!! I’m so excited to have finally gotten a new work up before the year ends!! Still just a one-shot, this is a story I’ve had in the back of my mind for almost all of November and December, but I spent the past 48 hours finally getting it written up and ready!
Coffee drinkers, you might really enjoy this :’)
Summary: A single, hot cup of coffee helps Levi and Mikasa realize what home is to them after a life of war.
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“Oh, this is much better than tea,” she said with a sly smile as she nudged him to sit at the wooden kitchen table. A firm shove on his shoulders forced him to take a seat.
“The hell do you mean better than tea?” Defeated, yet only slightly offended, Levi slumped against the table. “Wouldn’t have expected living in London to give you such shitty taste, Mikasa. Especially living with me.”
I hope you enjoy! Feels like a winter gift to my Rivamika friends. :) Wishing you all a wonderful new year and end of the holiday season!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapter 13. Holy crap. This was a beefy chapter. There’s a lot that goes on in this. It’s a little gut-wrenching, but it’s all for a purpose to get Mikasa and Levi to a mental place that will stretch them. I’m sorry for such a dark chapter, but there are still some fun bits. I hope you enjoy this! My hope is for Ch14 to be posted soon so that we don’t have to stare here for too long ;-;
Also, Microcosmos is 3 away from reaching 3,000 HITS. Holy CRAP!!
Chapter Title: Devils in the Dark
Trigger Warning: rape/kidnapping implications
Chapter Summary: Levi teams up with a familiar face as he races to track down his Paradis soldier. Both Levi and Mikasa relive parts of their most haunting memories in the dark as they're pushed to their mental and emotional limits.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapter 12! Waaaah I don’t want to say too much about it but!! I hope this pinnacle moment for Mikasa squeezes your hearts. It made my eyes misty when I wrote this. <3 It kinda crushed my heart, in all the good and angsty ways. After spending time yesterday defending and demanding character growth from Mikasa on twitter (lol), publishing this Mikasa-centric chapter means so much more to me. Please enjoy!!!
Chapter Title: Face to Face
Chapter Summary: Where one chase ends, another begins. Levi and Mikasa's mission objective is met face to face at long last, and the hopes of bringing Eren home are in the air. Mikasa makes an important choice.
