he’s a mess.
@rmxjiyoung
music thumps loudly enough that he could feel it in his chest when he stood close to the speakers and thrums powerfully through his ears now even when he’s a room away from the source. there’s beer spilled down the front of his shirt, probably from someone bumping into him and sloshing his cup all over the place, his hair is a mess from all the times he’s run a hand through it. he’s stumbling around more than walking, but that doesn’t stop sungmin from taking another sip out of the plastic cup that someone had so nicely refilled for him.
there’s pictures on the wall here; past graduating classes of alphas in chronological order since someone started this tradition. it’s a mistake to do this, to open up this can of worms when he’s already vulnerable and intoxicated, but sungmin’s good reason has fled this place. he traces down the years with his eyes, and with some point his finger joins and ghosts over the labels. class of 2005, 2006.. 2010.. finally he comes across the one he was looking for.
sungjin is smiling so happily in the photograph. he has his arm wrapped around the neck of one of his fellow graduates and sungmin can hear his older brother’s laugh echoing like a ghost through his head.
he feels the tears well up in his eyes before he can stop them. you should be here, he thinks to the picture, the pad of his index finger just lightly touching the photo as if he’ll be able to draw his brother out of it. i miss you so much.. why’d you have to do that for me? the waterworks come in earnest, as if sungmin hadn’t cried over this very thing several times over already. each time it’s like ripping off the bandage on a tender wound before it’s ready, he wonders if the ache will ever stop.
that’s how some of the other boys find him, sitting on the floor by the photo of his brother’s graduating class and sobbing like a child. they’re just as drunk as he is, but their sensitivity seems to decrease with intoxication as his increased. someone snaps a picture, all of them giggle to themselves. sungmin’s so lost in his own sorrow that he hardly acknowledges them, wiping at his eyes and nose furiously as someone mocks him for having way too much to drink tonight.