leaving for uni in exactly a week after a year and a half of seeing me complain about tiddi and jee, you'll be glad to know im now done with both(yo girls growin) idk if its for the better or the worse, but my life at this point is so different from what 2019 ro had expected im not even half as happy as her, but i went out with my friend and laughed over an inside joke we had about corn, and i sipped diet coke looking at her smile her heart out, and just for a moment, i felt physically warm, like a switch had flipped and i had suddenly gone from greyscale to colorful mode and happiness seemed achievable, within my reach. i've been told im overdramatic when i say i've cried with a towel stuffed in my mouth and exhaust fan on and water running so my mom doesnt know im not okay, but i learned to not dismiss my feelings, and not gaslight myself into thinking that if im hurt its probably because i deserve it. idk what ive written so far but ig i want to reintroduce myself. hi, im ro, im starting a new chapter n my life, without the people i had cared most about for the past 18 years , in a uni i didnt initially wanted to go to, but in a brand new, one of the most beautiful cities in my country, to study my preferred subjects. i want to be happy, and i'll do my best to make that happen. i've been through a lot(not doing this for attention please), but i think i dont want to be dead anymore. "to love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it."