#roast asks

[aslongasimhereyoureinvincible]

What about uuuh....

Asahi, Saeko and uuuuuuh... Seijoh ?

(Idk I’m being extreme with Seijoh, those poor babies, but I’m curious about what u have to say)

Asahi: Shimizu mentioned him going bald ONCE and homeboy changed up his hair style for a whole season. Also he probably unironically did insta fashion promos in middle school. Also also if he ever did weed he’d defo have an anxiety attack. And I bet he cries on public transportation.

Saeko: has had her licence suspended like at least twice. Bottle blonde since high school, her scalp hates her. Unironically thinks body shots are sexy probably. Fell for a dude who bashed his head into metal lockers. She probably has liver spots if she’s up drinking till 5am.

Seijoh: acts like a boyband, is not a boyband. Every other major team gets a cool animal mascot (not counting dateko) but what do seijoh get? Plants. Literally everyone on the damn team probably has a crush on iwaizumi which isn’t really a roast except I don’t imagine iwaizumi gives a shit. Their two starting 1st years look like a turnip and an e-boy respectively

[nobletoatea]

🔥 + Ferdinand. Can you do it, Lorenz?

@cynthero also wants him to suffer

@tobenobility

“H- he...” Lorenz broke into a cold sweat, hand against his forehead. How could he fabricate flaws when there practically were none about his beloved companion?

“Ferdinand Von Aegir is an imperfect human being just like the rest of us. His hair is too soft and waves styled too perfectly and glints in the sunshine like the charming beauties of the northern legends of old. His voice is so soft and sweet yet rings with a supported tone strong enough to echo in an opera hall. He’s so full of vigor and life and gives me an even higher standard of productivity to hold myself to- and it’s too much. He, like many nobles, goes on horseback rides quite often and as a result the style in which he wears his school uniform occasionally clings to his thighs, and he must get a tailor to fix that. His riding boots also outline his calves quite snugly and it is a distracting show of physique he really must stop.

“Not only that, but he is an eligible bachelor just like myself and it is of the utmost injustice that he does not already have a betrothed. Anyone- girl that is, of course girl- would be beyond blessed to have a place at such a kind, brilliant, attentive man’s side. He must promise his heart to someone to erase such a blemish.”

Lorenz’s face was burning pink. “See? His list of faults simply goes on and on.”

[bisexualkakashi]

Sakura. Should be easy

“Send me a character and I’ll roast them.”OKAY U KNOW WHAT NO IM NOT GIVIN U THE SATISFACTION. SAKURA IS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY AND U NEED TO MOISTURIZE UR ATTITUDE BEFORE U COME IN MY ASKBOX AND ATTACK MY DAUGHTER. I M THE ROASTER HERE NOT U. GOT N O AUTHORITY.

[aslongasimhereyoureinvincible]

Maybe roast...............Johzenji, TsukkiYama, and.........Yachi?

Interesting choice!! 

Johzenji: obvious roast is me bullying terushima and bobata for not taking ‘no’ as a goddamn answer when they asked kiyoko for her number. anyways, theyve probably set off their school’s fire alarm attempting to hotbox the clubroom. the team’s collective GPA is is 1.3 and itd be lower if not for terushima ‘class 7′ yuuji. hana is the only one with a valid bank account. 

Tsukkiyama: would you like a side of tall-people-arrogance with all that co-dependency you ordered? they both think they’re funny as shit but theyre actually just mean lol, tsukki’s just louder abt it. yamaguchi has literally had dibs since they were like 8 and yet his biggest concern in high school was still cute girls coming up to him to ask him about tsukishima 

Yachi: fuck man i cant roast her, us disaster gays w/ anxiety and mummy issues gotta stick together. shes bad at drawing ig??? clumsy baby lesbian?? fuck idk i just love yacchan too much, ig bokuto roasted her that one time he called her short? haha yeah yachi’s shorter than me there we go 

[nobletoatea]

“Your attitude towards the ideals of nobility and how you treat the common folk is honestly deplorable. Regardless of the circumstances of one's birth, we are all equals as human beings; ignoring Crests, all that separates us from ‘commoners’ is our level of learning. And such education is something we, as those in a position of privilege, have the power to give others.- [1/2]

"... That you would waste your time seeking a highborn ‘mate’ rather than putting an effort into uplifting those we are sworn to guide is why our society is stagnant and dying.” [2/2]

Lorenz stared with his mouth agape. This of all things, coming from the Imperial Princess? “Your Highness- I have only the commoner’s best interests at heart! How I plan to use use my authority is beyond reproach, yet what stings most is your insinuation that my search of a proper spouse is a waste of time! With the right partner at my side, my efforts could be doubled!

“Then again, my political situation is more delicate than yours. You have the luxury of being an eldest heir to the throne. I must work to sustain my power and guide the currents of noble society in the Alliance.” Lorenz sniffed dismissively. “A price to pay for a government run on merit, I suppose.”

[bisexualkakashi]

Kakuzu

“Send me a character and I’ll roast them”

all that money and ur still dead as fuck u musty bitch lmaoooooo

[bisexualkakashi]

Neji

“Send me a character and I’ll roast them”Neji I kno that u were pretending to be all hung up about the hyuuga clan branch inequality and ur father’s death when u were trying to kill Hinata during the chunin exams but we all kno its just cause u felt threatened cause u knew that that if Hinata ever grew her hair out she would replace u as Konoha’s Top Femme Bitch with the Best Hair and like… u were right she Did That

[bisexualkakashi]

do yamato for the roast

“Send me a character and I’ll roast them”

I don’t have to roast Yamato Kishimoto already did that for me