Reverie
i must confess,
my dreams a vice venom darkness
father, forgive me.
an enchantress, i can only conclude
she must be.
a witch, father
inhuman
her hallowed eyes spiral away my will
covering me in her embrace
bloodlust ill
a destructive smile
and yet
yet
she’s nowhere near
twisted in the shadows
the corners bathe in her sin
in the back of my thoughts
in the back of my eye
the blur of her
and the things i lie awake to scream
what she expertly pulls from me
and yet
yet
is she real?
despite my hope
twinged in horror
i couldn’t be sure
her hair is an ivory angel and it glistens in my hands
but only when i dream, father
only when i let her in.
i take some convincing,
i can never remember saying no
though i lock my door tight, father
and cross my heart with silver
before my closed eyes unlatch my escape.
she’s persistent, you see
she rattles the hinges
like a spider lurking in a trap laid bare
and i lie bare
barer than i’ve ever been
she’s made me this way.
lost in the hiss
under the blaring eyes of the moon
my nightgown distressed in her dismal grace
she contorts me.
my sterling locket falls to the bedside.
am i mad father?
must i be?
for there is no other who completes me.
am i compelled by she per uttering such word aloud?
her still in my mind
a constant bell
she stills as i confess
the invisible honesty
ripped open raw.
her saccharine sweetness etches in my pulse
however mystic,
but a tale sick with insanity.
heresy.
blasphemy, father, you must know!
scream louder!
overpower her
bell tones and beating
rebuke her!
she hungers for me
under unwilling patience
i’ll brand the rough beads of my rosary to each palm
and split myself in two for god to find room
to whirl between her
wipe me of her toxin
before she embroiders me back to her
i’m woven to her restraint
you must hurry
i beg of you
she weakens me
my lips tainted in her elixir of unholy promise
heaven forbid, father
she stalks your nightmares,
and may god grace you,
a confession won’t do.
